Pompeii or Herculaneum with kids (5 and 9yrs old)

I believe you’re right about Herculaneum (Ercolano), based on its smaller size, and the more intact surviving building ruins. If the kids are aware that it’s now a ghost town, with the remains following an intense disaster, the significance of what they’re seeing should be palpable. Descending from the modern day ground level down into the ancient street level should help enforce how buried the town became.

Pompeii does have the plaster casts of bodies in agony, which might be fascinating or horrifying to the kids. Maybe the creepiness would be irresistible, and illustrative of the terror during the eruption of the volcano. If seeing the in-situ replica mosaics would make a difference, those are certainly another attribute for Pompeii. Is a visit to the Archaeological Museum in Naples going to be possible, to see original mosaics and other artifacts, whichever sight you pick?

Herculaneum is indeed more manageable, and quieter. As for which one is more impressive, it is very personal. I visited Herculaneum first, as a teenager, then Pompei almost 10 years later, yet my memories of Herculaneum are far more vivid.

What time of year would the visit be?

I have been to Pompeii and there is little shade. I have read that Herculaneum is better that way. If the visit is in the summer you could have literal as well as figurative 'meltdown' by the kids.

I vote for Herculaneum. It's more compact, better preserved and easier to decipher if you have no knowledge of roman history.
5 years old are ready to be shocked and usually love it, but the body plasters in Pompeii could be too much for the adults.

Ps Why are you driving? And why are you taking 5 hours? I hope you are not leaving the luggage in a car parked close to a major tourist attraction. Or anywhere along the way.

Thank you for such thoughtful advice!

I remember seeing a body or two at Herculaneum as a child (memorable!!) but perhaps they are no longer there. Mostly I remember seeing ordinary things, a shoe, a bowl, a tool— everyday, familiar, objects so that at only 7, I could conjure up my own little window into the past.

We will be there in late June. Midway through a 2 week trip. Hopefully we will be spared all manner of meltdown.

And thanks for the driving/parked car advice. We won’t be leaving our things unattended :)

Midway through a 2 week trip

If you are driving for 2 weeks, I am sure you already know about the tutor system on motorways and about ZTLs in all cities, towns and tiny villages.

"Controllo elettronico della velocità" is written on square signs, it means: "we are allowed to put speed traps on this road".

Just be aware that neither site is well supplied with facilities such as a cafe, bathrooms. Make sure you take along lots of drinks and food. If you are staying in Rome you might want to look at visiting Ostia Antica, ancient Rome’s port city. It was abandoned when the Tiber silted up. It has everything you would see at Pompeii and Herculaneum but not the crowds. It also has a cafe that serves decent food or there are cafes near the site. Added bonus if there is a melt-down it’s is short distance from the beach at the resort town of Ostia. You can easily reach the site from Rome by train, and it’s an easy 5 minute or so walk to the site. Have a look at the site’s web site to get an idea of how extensive it is and what is there. True it was abandoned over time rather than as a result of a cataclysmic event but if you are wanting to get a feel for how a Roman city looked Ostia will give you that.

Remember that there are skeletons of people who tried to escape Herculaneum concentrated at the site of the original waterfront. These may be more easily avoided than the casts at Pompeii, but I think they are just as saddening.

You may find this discussion helpful:

https://community.ricksteves.com/travel-forum/italy/herculaneum-and-pompeii-questions

It's a mystery to me why a smaller site must be better for people with limited time. Who says you have to ride every ride on your first visit to Disneyland? Even without a guide (to say "we have 2.5 hours ... " to), you can research what you want to do for any number of hours, and use feedback from the kids as to how far to press on. Having been to both sites, I feel that the number of villas you can enter (at Pompeii) is a big plus over looking at things across a railing (Herculaneum.) Note that what's "open" on any given day inside an Italian government site is a big unknown.

I kind of remember that the body casts could be avoided at both sites, if you know where they are located in advance. But I'm not sure about that, today. I don't have any idea if they upset children so young. I personally found that Pompeii has more of the feel of a big ancient city, while Herculaneum is more like a tame diorama in a big pit. (OPINION) But both are good visits.

Pompeii has a large, air-conditioned hot-food snack bar, with toilets upstairs. Herculaneum has a few vending machines. Neither site allows re-entry on the same ticket, so you can't eat outside and return. Both sites are likely be blisteringly hot and sun-baked in June. Both have little parking available. I'd guess that Herculaneum has less parking than Pompeii, but I wouldn't drive to either one. Outside-food has longer hours at Pompeii than in the town of Ercolano. (i.e. regular Italian restaurant hours.) But the longer-hours food opposite Porta Marina (Pompeii) is more touristy.

It seems clear that you do not want advice about automobile usage. Even if you have an unlimited budget, parking in Sorrento on a summer night is a major challenge. You have a lot to learn about cars in Italy.

Pompeii - your kids will be able to remember and tell the story of their visit for the rest of their lives. Most non-travelers won't have heard of and won't care about Herculaneum.

20 years ago we drove to Pompeii from Venice via Orvieto with one of our sons (who was 9) and my mother. Our son definitely got more out of Pompeii than Herculaneum because it sparks the imagination more. We knew none of us could take the midday summer heat or crowds, so we stayed at a hotel within walking distance of one of the gates (maybe the main gate?) and were the first people through the gate when it opened. Saw Herculaneum the next morning before continuing on to Sicily.

Would we make such a drive now, after many subsequent multi-week trips to Italy? No. Heck, no. We stay in one region and take trains and buses as much as possible, even though my husband is an utterly fearless driver and has never gotten a ticket in Italy except one really dumb parking ticket. BUT, we did that epic drive and it was not a big deal and it’s perfectly doable if that is what you decide is best. People just want to make sure you know it’s not like driving (or parking) in the States.

If you do visit Ostia Antica instead or in addition, your kids will love the ancient Roman toilet with many seats all in a row. Look for it.

I should clarify….
We are taking the train from Rome to Naples. In fact we are traveling by train the whole time. We have a local car and driver taking us on this one excursion en route to Sorrento.
Thanks for all the advice!
I value my limbs and wouldn’t dare get behind the wheel in Italy :)

The train news leads me to ask why you are going to Pompeii on the way to Sorrento. It is just as easy to get to Pompeii (or Herc) from Sorrento as it is to get there from Naples. One of the big plusses of staying in (pleasant but forgettable) Sorrento is the excellent daytrip transit access. We spent five nights in Sorrento, and had to cut things out of our schedule for lack of time!

I am not urging you to spend more time at Pompeii than you want to, but couples with no children often spend 8 hours or the whole day at Pompeii. It is, that, interesting. Remember sun protection and water bottles. Maybe your hotel room comes with an umbrella.

This newsboard has nothing but good things to say about the luggage checking at Porta Marina/Pompeii, but still, why not get to your room in Sorrento and go back to Pompeii in the cool of the morning? (Note that Herculaneum is a substantial 15-minute downhill (from the Circumvesuviana station) walk. But there used to be a kid-friendly "screen" product along the way.) Pompeii Porta Marina is RIGHT at the Pompeii Scavi Circumvesuviana stop.

As often reported, this commuter train can be jammed and unpleasant for people who travel only by SUV between malls. For NYC subway veterans, it's just a rush-hour-ride 16 hours a day. Note that Circumvesuviana with luggage is physically difficult because of jammed car conditions. That comment is in reference to your Naples-Sorrento trip. We gladly paid for a car service (Ambasciatori to Naples rail station) on the way home, since we'd paid for a cab within Sorrento anyway on arrival.

I agree with Tim about going to Sorrento first and then going to either site via the train; we've visited both from Sorrento via train. We didn't have any problems taking luggage from Naples to Sorrento on the train, but we only had 1 item apiece. If you take the train to Sorrento sit on the right side for the views on the way down the coast.

As to which to choose, it's tough to decide. Herculaneum looks more like an actual town since the building remains are in better shape. But I don't recall guides being available there. At Pompeii you can either book a guide in advance (especially if you go to Sorrento first and then visit Pompeii fresh another morning) or can get a guided tour from the guides lined up outside the site. The impromptu tours may or may not be authorized guides. Since you asked opinions, I'll recommend Pompeii with a guide. We visited it on our own using just a guidebook and don't think we got nearly as much out of the visit as we would have with someone to explain what the various walls still standing represented. Someday I'd like to go back and do a guided tour.

i will add to those who suggest doing your visit ( to whichever site you choose) the next morning, so you can do it in the cooler part of the day.

Arriving noon or later will have you there at the hottest time of the day. Everyone will wilt faster.

I found the RS audio guide for Pompeii very well done.

We went to Pompeii in early July from Sorrento and the morning was very pleasant. We bought some sandwiches there and found a shady spot to eat. While we wandered around for another couple hours, it was hot by then. If I had children with me, I would have left after lunch. In other words, the advice to not stop on the way in the heat of the day is spot on.

We had a guided tour (purchased when we arrived) which I would recommend unless you are up for doing a lot of advance work. Otherwise it can be difficult to appreciate what you are seeing. Your 9 year old would be old enough to understand.