I wrote this for a previous post, but I think at least some of it applies to your situation as well:
We spent 2 weeks in Italy in September, the second week we were in Tuscany for the wedding of my husband's cousin. I don't know all the costs, but here are my thoughts more generally. I think 26 people made the trip.
The bride and groom facilitated a villa rental in Poggibonsi that had a gorgeous outdoor space that they used for the reception, so no additional venue costs for the reception. Car Rental generally required for guests, it was hard (but not impossible) to arrange taxis from town up to the villa, and Poggibonsi is not really a destination in and of itself, but we did some day trips. And the property itself was beautiful.
https://www.villaellerone.it/en
We paid for our own room ($450/person for the week) so their rental costs were minimal (I assume?). The reception was catered by a local chef/restaurant, and was amazing. I have no idea what it cost, but the reception and the transportation to/from the ceremony site was their major expense for wedding-day activities. They arranged a bus for the guests to get from the Villa to the ceremony and back. They did plan and host another dinner during the week and had a chef come in for that also. I think it was all arranged through the Villa owners.
The ceremony was held at the Abbey of San Galgano, outside Sienna. It was beautiful. I have never seen such a beautiful venue! It is open to the public during weddings, just FYI. quick google search says 1000 euro to reserve it. They had to do a TON of paperwork to make it official - both before they left and in the days before the wedding. It was a huge pain. The local mayor did the civil ceremony, and they had to have a translator. So, it may be easier to legally get married in US and then have the service in italy be more ceremonial.
https://www.discovertuscany.com/what-to-see-in-tuscany/the-abbey-of-san-galgano.html
Bride & Groom said it was cheaper for them to do it in Italy than in their hometown of San Francisco for a large crowd, which might be true for SF perhaps. They also brought in brought/shipped a lot of stuff with them, and it was definitely a logistical nightmare at times for them (though they could have done with bringing a lot less).
It was obviously a LOT more expensive and logistically difficult for us to coordinate going to Italy than a long weekend trip to California from Ohio (especially with a 3 year old). We don't live in an airport hub area, so had to get to another airport in US, and can't get anywhere to Europe for less than $1000 typically. They did tell us in January, for a September wedding so we had plenty of time to plan. In the end it was a great family trip and I'm glad we went.
Also, I would appoint a friend or family member who is good at trip planning or leadership to be the key point person during the week. Trying to coordinate that many people without a "leader" was super hard, when only the bride had the info and she wasn't always available or thought she had shared but we never got word about events.
A good local wedding planner who is an excellent communicator and is on top of all the details is also really helpful. Their day-of wedding planner didn't tell them about the need for a translator until the day before, and she didn't make sure the bus with the guests went to the right place (so we missed Happy Hour in San Gimignano, super sad face).
So anyways, let me know if you have any other questions about our experiences, happy to help!
-Beth
