My elderly relative will be in Rome for 2 days in May and I'd like to find her a companion to assist. She is in a grey area cognitively where some days she can get by alone and others she really needs someone to help navigate the world. She is extremely friendly/strikes up conversations everywhere, so I'm a little bit concerned she'd be a mark for scammers. Any recommendations for a private tour guide service or other ideas?
Thanks so much!
Amanda, I'll be really honest that if your relative is in a sort of "grey area cognitively", she shouldn't be left alone by herself in Rome at any time, including during transport from her home country. She needs to have someone with her from the time she departs from her home to the time she arrives in Italy, for the duration of her trip, and then to her flight home. You simply cannot trust that she can manage by herself in a foreign country at any time regardless of what she might be able to manage at home. The cultural shock may be too much for her to handle.
Sorry if that seems harsh but given my personal experience with a sibling with cognitive issues, this is an accident waiting to happen without 24/7 care. She needs more than standard guide service to keep her safe.
😭😭 🫠🫠
I think I needed to hear it from someone else.
Would you give this advice about any destination or is Rome especially challenging to navigate?
Thanks so much, A.
Amanda, sadly I have to agree. Your relative needs a constant companion from departure to return. I don't think a daily guide would be sufficient, even if you could find one willing to assume the potential liability of having responsibility for a senior with cognitive impairment. Especially since it is a fact that impairment can worsen, sometimes significantly, when the senior is placed in unfamiliar surroundings and a completely different daily routine. That goes for anywhere- one state away, or on the other side of the world. Although, thinking about it, being surrounded by people speaking a diffrent language isn't going to lessen the potential disorientation.
Thanks CJean, I think you're right. It's hard to accept that someone who has been extremely independent their whole life can no longer travel alone. Luckily they can afford to pay for a family or friend to travel with them...so now i just need to convince them! 🌞
Amanda, I would advise against this for ANY European destination for your relative unless they're accompanied 24/7. To be truthful, I would advise against solo traveling even within in the US for someone with cognitive impairment. They're too vulnerable to be able to manage alone should they be faced with a problem, and the standard guide wouldn't be with them all the time, only for booked excursions and not overnight.
The good news is that they can afford a 24/7 companion so all is not lost!
Hi Amanda, not to pile on...but it was during a trip a few years ago that my husband's cognitive deficits really accelerated. He'd been coping more or less at home, with help, but for the entire week we were gone, staying only in one place, he couldn't find the bathroom from the bedroom 10 steps away. And he never recovered that level of functioning. It was an abrupt cliff change. So by all means get your relative on that trip, but yes they need full-time company and be prepared for changes afterwards too.
I'm bringing my 92-y-o mother from the States to Italy this summer, so I'm very much in favour of supporting continued travel at all ages, but she "only" has mobility challenges, not cognitive ones. I hope to be like her in a few decades. All the best, hope you can make it happen for your relative.
You're getting some good advice. I will caution that people tend to give advice based on their own personal experience with loved ones. I don't know nearly enough to recommend the need for 24/7 help. When you say "grey area" cognitively, that could mean different types and levels of cognitive decline.
Cognitive issues; whether normal aging or a disease process, will be particularly exacerbated with fatigue and a change of routine, so the actual travel can be a particular trigger. So some type of assistance there would be helpful for anyone. If that assistance is a family member companion, they will have the advantage of knowing your relative's normal baseline and will already have a rapport with you and the relative in question.
Good luck with this. It's difficult because you want to help but you also don't want to give the impression that you are forcing your relative to do something, or not do something, they want to do. Agency is important in folks with cognitive issues, even for folks with something like Alzheimer's. Telling a person "No" or trying to fix their perceptions to match your reality can often be a negative trigger. There are particular redirection skills that are far more useful regardless of where a person might be on their journey
