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Not Drinking in Italy

Dear All,

My father, sister, and I will be in Rome and Florence for ten days. I've been reviewing travel blogs, guide books, etc. and all of them devote large amounts of time and space to wine. And quite rightly--it seems to be a big part of Italian culture and something people really enjoy about the country. However, my family and I don't really drink. I'll have the occasional glass of wine with dinner, and will probably do so while I'm traveling, but my family doesn't drink at all. How can we politely refuse at a restaurant? Nobody is an alcoholic, or pregnant, and we don't want to be rude or bad guests, but it's just not really something they do, and I only do in strict moderation. I'd be grateful for any thoughts or experiences you might have!

All the best,

R.

Posted by
2431 posts

There was a post on this topic about a month ago ("Sober in Italy?"); everyone who responded agreed that it was a non-issue. Just say 'no, grazie' with a smile, and you'll be fine. (Edited to add that you probably won't be offered wine out of the blue in the first place. Really, no worries.)

Posted by
2393 posts

No worries just order like you would anywhere else. No one will care nor will you treated any different.

Posted by
4152 posts

If you don't want wine don't order it. It doesn't come standard with your meal. Order just like you would at home. If you want a glass of wine order one, if not, just order a soft drink or water.

Donna

Posted by
15681 posts

You don't have a thing to worry about! Order what pleases you; no one will care. You're far from the only travelers - or even Italians - who teetotal for any number of reasons.

All will be well. Enjoy lovely Italy!

Posted by
133 posts

Just a few added notes: Water does not generally come automatically like in the US. You will likely be asked if you want a large bottle of water for the table, and the cost will be 2-4 euro. If you want plain water, ask for "naturale" or "still", otherwise you will get carbonated water (with gas). A soda will cost 2.5e and up, and ice is not always automatic. Enjoy! and don't worry about not drinking!!

Posted by
2393 posts

You can also request a glass or carafe of tap water - very drinkable and I am assuming still free. If you do not specify tap water you will get San Pelligrino most likely sparkling or still and be charged.

Posted by
7209 posts

If you really don't want a hamburger or a hotdog or asparagus, etc - then don't order it! Same for wine. If you don't order they won't bring it.

Do people seriously think that the Italians are going to load up diners with wine without even ordering it?

Posted by
2 posts

Thank you, all, for your responses! No no, I didn't expect them to hand us free wine left and right, but the Lonely Planet Italy book said that not ordering wine would be 'greeted with consternation.' Consternation was something I was hoping to avoid, so I thought I'd check in. But based on your very helpful reports, it sounds like all will be well. Thanks again!

Posted by
7981 posts

No one cares what you drink. Just order what you want. I often don't drink when traveling and no waiter anywhere has ever so much as raised an eyebrow. In France we order tap water in restaurants (the norm) and in Italy we order fizzy water. Waiters rarely ask you what wine you want; they just take whatever order you make. Plenty of Italians don't drink for health reasons or because alcohol is fattening.

Posted by
15043 posts

Order bottled water (Italian restaurants don't serve tap water).

Nobody will care if you don't drink alcohol. There are lots of locals who also don't drink alcohol.

Posted by
11613 posts

Lonely Planet is good on most info, but the authors' interpretations of customs can be less reliable. Drink what you want - note that Coke is more expensive than almost any other drink, except a fancy cocktail.

Posted by
32173 posts

rebecca,

Don't worry about "consternation". You can drink what you're comfortable with, but as the others have mentioned bottled water is the usual choice for water. I don't mind paying a few Euro for an ice cold bottle of Aqua Naturale after a hot day of touring.

Posted by
7737 posts

Boy, Lonely Planet really blew that one. There will be zero "consternation" if you don't order wine. What might possibly happen is at the end of a big expensive meal, the restaurant might bring you a small dessert wine for free. You can just wave it away with a "Thanks anyway" smile on your face. But if you didn't have wine with that meal, they probably won't as they will assume that you are "astemio" or an "abstainer."

Posted by
11294 posts

"not ordering wine would be 'greeted with consternation.' "

Yes, the same thing is said about France. It's not true in France, and it's not true in Italy (makes you wonder if the writers of these books even went to the country!).

Order what you want. You may be asked if you want wine, the same way you may be asked if you want dessert; you are free to say "No, grazie" in both cases, and that will be the end of it. But more commonly, you will be asked what you want to drink, and whatever you say (wine, water, cola, etc.) will be accepted without so much as a raised eyebrow. Getting tap water can be hard, but as long as you're willing to pay a few euros for a large bottle (one liter) of mineral water, you're fine.

Remember, Italians may be abstaining because they're driving (very strict DUI limits) or because they're on medications that interact with alcohol, or for various other reasons. So it's not true that Italians guzzle alcohol at every meal, stereotypes to the contrary. It's not only tourists who may not have wine with a meal, but Italians too.

Posted by
1625 posts

As in the States when you are at Restaurant and they ask "would you like to start with a drink".. I say "water please". Its such a non issue, no need to be worried at all. Most tables had a Carafe of Tap water on them, so very normal to order water with your meal. And the water was cold!

I am actually allergic to red wine so I also don't drink it at all (Not pretty, face gets all hot and red, rash breaks out on my chest and I get totally overheated) but I thought "When in Rome" 'cause I was actually in Rome...and I did have some organic red wines that I had zero reaction to!! So my lesson learned is to never say never. I actually took pictures of the bottles to see if I can find the wine at home.

Posted by
1231 posts

There was a similar post in the Germany forum some time ago re: not drinking beer. The answers were the same, nobody cares what you drink. Europeans are not so hung up as Americans are, they don't worry as much what people think. They just enjoy themselves!

Posted by
3696 posts

Whoever wrote that has obviously not traveled a lot and not ordered wine.... I traveled for years and did not drink any wine... white gave me a headache and stuffy nose (allergies) and I did not like red.... Now, that I do drink red I am not treated any differently than I was before..
I can understand your concern after hearing this from a supposed 'travel expert;... just be sure to take it all with a grain of salt:))

Have your occasional glass of house wine (it's really good) and have a fun trip!

Posted by
11613 posts

Donnybee, I once did not throw coins into the Trevi Fountain and couldn't get back to Italy for 12 years.

As for wine, I also have diabetes and sometimes ask for a half-glass if it's really good, but then the pasta carbs have to be avoided. When with friends, it's easy to have a very small amount in the glass for toasting purposes.

Posted by
7981 posts

If you want a half glass to toast or whatever just have your dining partner order a carafe of whatever size works for him or her and then pour a bit in to your glass. They can just order a slightly larger carafe. Carafe sizes come from about a glass and a half size to half a liter. Because my husband always has wine with meals and I often don't, he usually orders a small carafe.

Posted by
2431 posts

One thing you can do that does leave a positive impression is to be sure to praise the food (sincerely, of course).

Posted by
4324 posts

FWIW, I took a French refresher course before my last trip and we used a Lonely Planet phrase book as a text. Not only is it full of British-isms, it felt quite dated. Like something my parents would have taken on their honeymoon.

Just keep your wits about you and don't let the waiter slip a bottle of wine onto your table, if that's what you are worried about. I do recall seeing that, sitting down at a table that already had bottles of water and wine on them. Just politely ask for them to be taken away before they get "accidentally" opened. Like dealing with a minibar.

Posted by
49 posts

I just returned from a two-week trip to Italy by myself and I don't think anyone cares if you drink or not. I was asked what I wanted to drink and would often choose bottled water or a soft drink. With one meal, I received a glass of wine and drank part of it and again I don't think anyone even noticed. I don't think it should make any difference to any of you.