@Barkinpark sure thing.
So last year during my stay in the area, my Aston Martin DB5 overheated while driving to Brixen and I pulled over in front of a pool hall in St. Magdalena. Little did I know that stopping is ill advised on the east side of town. There was a raucous bunch drinking and hollering inside the establishment , but I didn't pay them much attention. I dropped a dime in the pay phone and tried to call a nearby mechanic, but the patrons were too loud and I couldn't hear anything. Frustrated, I shouted "Shhhhh! I'm trying to use the phone"! And just like that, the whole place went dead quiet.
I became the center of attention and was immediately surrounded by a bunch of burly, leather-clad brutes. One walked up and grabbed the receiver out of my hand and hung up the phone. He said "Did anyone tell you this is the private club of the Satan's Helpers"?
Before I had the chance to answer, the mob lifted me off my feet and pinned me down on a table. One of them said "I say we kill him"! Another said, "I say we hang him, then we kill him"! A third cried "I say we stab him, then we tattoo him, then we hang him, then we kill him"!
Just when I thought it was all over, the front door busted open and I heard shouting in a language I did not understand. Someone from the mob shouted "The Triads are here!" Soon it was mayhem and the two gangs were trading punches and I was ducking feet, fists, and beer bottles. I crawled my way to the door and escaped by the skin of my teeth.
I jumped in the DB5 and by the grace of God it fired up and I got out of there. While I was driving out I started noticing all the warning signs that I was on the wrong side of the tracks: shady pawn shops, bail bondsman, bars on the windows. At a stop sign someone with a dirty rag tried to clean my windshield with his own spit!
When I got to my hotel in Brixen, I told the concierge where I stopped and she immediately made the sign of the cross. She said I was lucky to be alive and that area is a hot bed for rival gang warfare. I could hardly believe it, one minute you're admiring the green pastures and saying hello to a cow and the next you're in the crosshairs of the Triads and Satan's Helpers!
So if you love your family, give them a kiss, hold them a little tighter, and stay far away from east Saint Magdalena!
