Inappropriate behavior on busses and trains?

I have traveled with my husband on busses and trains from Venice to Rome. Never even a moment of inappropriate behavior experienced or even observed. Quite the contrary: men & women, young & old were very nice and helpful, willing to engage with me in my halting Italian. Maybe a young woman alone would have more problems?

Erin, As a male, I've never been the recipient of that type of behaviour, but more importantly I've never observed it or even heard a complaint from anyone that has been "groped". I suspect this may happen more frequently to women travelling alone? As your husband will be with you, I doubt that you'll have any problems. I wouldn't recommend renting a Car, as it will likely be more expensive (as you noted), and will also create other "issues" that you'll have to deal with (ie: you'll both need to obtain an IDP, be vigilant for the dreaded ZTL areas, parking, high fuel costs, tolls and possibility of theft or vandalism). Travel by car will also be slower and a less efficient use of your travel time. Hopefully Ron will spot this Thread, as I'm sure he'd be able to provide very good insight into this situation. Happy travels!

When did your friend work there? 1950? The only occasions I could imagine anything like this happening would be in very crowded subways or very packed buses, but like the others I've NEVER heard of it happening even there. As for trains, there's no reason at all not to take them. Everybody gets their own seat and there's tons of room. There are plenty of legitimate things to be concerned about. This isn't one of them. Go here to learn about the trains: http://www.roninrome.com/%20transportation/riding-the-trains-in-italy

I am a young female, and while I would receive attention while walking on the street or through the markets (sometimes just "Ciao bella" but sometimes more), I never had a problem with groping. Men would make comments, but never tried to touch me or anything. Do as the Italian women do, ignore them! I would agree that a woman going somewhere alone might be more of a target, and that with your husband you shouldn't have a problem. I traveled quite a lot on trains around Italy and never had any incidents. I never used the subways in Rome though, and that is where I imagine more of this could potentially occur. It is a more crowded location, more opportunity I suppose? I believe "Lasciame sta" or something similar means "leave me alone!" Do not be afraid to be firm with anyone. I don't think it will be a major problem for you though, and to me is not worth dealing with a car. Train travel is easy and I prefer it in Italy!

Erin, I think Laurel, Ken and Michael give you solid advice. I do understand your husband's position and his reaction is certainly understandable - but I think he would be reacting to exceptional behavior and not the standard behavior of Italian men. In the distant past, men in Italy had a reputation for being sometimes beyond flirtatious. But today's Italian male is far more considerate. Unfortunately, stereotypical images are kept alive by Hollywood in scenes from movies like Under the Tuscan Sun and Eat, Pray, Love. Do these issues occur – Yes, they do. In my 3+ years of riding very crowded buses and metro in Rome I've dealt with this issue ONE time. An older gentleman had positioned himself up against a lady I was helping get to Roma Termini. The bus was quite full and his behavior was inappropriate. I saw this and re-positioned myself to block him and we had a few words. So yes, it may happen on a crowded bus or metro – not so much on a train, unless you're on an overfilled Regionale. Talking with other women who lived in Rome, they each had perhaps one story in years of bus and train travel. So while it may occur, you can easily take some steps to avoid this. First, don't get on an over-packed bus or metro. Second, your husband can position himself so you are insulated.. Third, an icy stare and a loud response works wonders in these situations. Fortunately, I never had to deal with a situation involving my wife. I'd probably be thinking like your husband and get QUITE LOUD! But we're headed to Italy this weekend (again) and we'll be on a Friday night late bus or metro that will be packed. And frankly, I'd be more worried about getting pick-pocketed than groped.

I understand and certainly empathize with your husband's position. But I would not let the acts/behaviors of a very small minority dictate my vacation. This could happen as you wait in line or ride a packed shuttle bus in an airport in the States coming to Italy I would second Ken's position. Getting an International Driving Permit, avoiding the ZTL's, and having to deal with parking concerns all would convince me not to have a car. (I'd drive in Tuscany!). I think you'll have a more in-depth experience using public transportation. A car is great for town-hopping but often becomes a liability in Italy - especially in the larger cities. Ride the trains, metro, trams, and buses... and just be aware of your "location" and who is around you. You'll be fine!

Oh boy. James, you had to go there, didn't you? ;-) But if there's any truth to your point I think it has less to do with the "hotness" of the women and perhaps more to do with how they're dressed. It's important to be aware of cultural differences. Both men and women - especially young women - can dress very differently from country to country. Here in America it can be hard to tell the difference (in dress) between some teens and your average street walker. In those cases the women should tone it down a bit when traveling to more conservative societies, lest they draw unwanted attention to themselves. Of course you're never going to totally "blend in" to other cultures, but we should be aware of what that society sees as "appropriate" and what is not. It is their country, after all. That said, does any of this excuse those Italian men's behaviour? Of course not. But as others have already said, incidents like this are very, very rare. In all our travels, my wife has never had any problems in this regard. The occasional innocent, light flirting, sure (usually by an old man who's just having fun) but that's it. Edited to ad that my wife is very, very hot. The most beautiful woman walking the planet, in fact. Ok, I may be slightly biased.

Well if James can go there, I can go here. I was a bit disappointed there was nothing inappropriate done to me! If I ever needed proof I'd hid a certain age, that was it.

I've been to Rome twice, once with my dad and once by myself on a tour (so I was sometimes with others, sometimes by myself) and never had an issue. In the 21st century, the Italian men seem to stick with words (i.e., flirting), not touching and if you are with your husband, it's even less likely to occur. As the others have said, on a train it would be really difficult to see this happening, especially if you are on one of the faster trains with reserved seat assignments. I've been on some very crowded buses/metros and never had an incident. Like Ron said, I'd be more worried about pickpockets! One last note, Dad & I just returned from 2 weeks in Sicily which probably has a worse reputation than Rome. Again, no incidents and everyone went well out of their way to be helpful.

Though I have never been bothered... (I think being a 6'6" 250lb ex logger from MT may have something to do with it), I would take the following position... Its much safer there than here for the most part. Just take the normal precautions you would here and odds are you will have no troubles. I think things like groping and pick pockets stories take on a life of their own. Not to say it doesn't happen but I am guessing the odds of it happening are far less than if you were to spend a month hitting some cities on the east coast. Take the trains... its often one of the most enjoyable times of my trips... You get to chat a bit with real locals doing real things... The little Italian kids are a kick to try and chat with. Be safe but don't spend much time worrying.

I (50's, female) have travelled solo on the buses and trains in Italy many times within the last ten years. This was never an issue.

I think some of these stories from "friends" should be taken with a grain of salt. One of my mother's friends told her that she should not wear her wedding ring to Italy because thieves will grab her and cut her fingers off to get the ring! Who comes up with these stories???

Okay - going to have to stick up for the storyteller on this one, though with a slight caveat. The things that have happened to me, my daughter and other women I know is groping or being rubbed up against on public transportation by men in SEVERAL big cities, including Los Angeles, Rome & Chicago. By public transport I mean buses and subways where you are all standing close to each other, NOT trains that go from city to city where you have your own seat. I have taught my daughter what to do in these instances (move, elbow to the stomach - whichever works quickest) and she handled herself just fine with a creep on a Chicago bus. There is no reason to not travel by train and Rome is a fabulous city where I feel much safer than here in Atlanta. Both you and your husband need to be aware of who is around you on buses and subways - but we've had more experience there with pickpockets trying to get something than with creepy men. EDIT: In reading this over I wanted to be clear on one thing - I'm not saying that the groping happens all the time but I've dealt with it twice in my life and daughter and friends have had incidents -but this is over the course of riding buses, etc daily for years. So again, not a common occurrence and not a big deal if you know to stand up for yourself.

No, Andrea, I don't think you missed anything. What Ron describes happened to me on a crowded Rome bus in the late 1980s. There was not room to move at all. I don't think "hotness" or dress had anything to do with it as I was not dressed in a suggestive manner at all. I think it was opportunity. I don't know if it still happens but it was disgusting. I think avoiding all public transportation is pretty extreme, just avoid crowded buses.

You'll have no problems on public transportation - I can almost promise it. As anywhere, I scope out which group of people I'd like to become intimately familiar with on crowded metro cars - some look like more trouble than others. If you DO experience it, I suggest grabbing back - rather forcefully. I think you know where to grab...

Thanks everyone, I feel much better. I have been to Germany twice and NEVER experienced anything like the things she told me so I was a little surprised that just 2 countries away it could be so different! I think I can stop thinking about a rental car and just start learning some phrases that could come in handy. :-)

Never experienced rude behavior as your friend mentioned & don't think you'll have any problems. As another poster pointed out, perhaps your friend was by herself on the train. Since your husband will be with you, I don't imagine you'll have any trouble. Rest assured the trains are a pleasurable and hassle-free experience.

First time in Rome this past March with Fiance...I was 29 and he was 30, I''m now 30....booo hooo. We used the subway the whole time there same as we do in Philly we we are from and I have never been touched. In Philly, Rome, Paris, London, Germany, Boston, Baltimore, Washington or New York! The only ppl you SHOULD listen to are here on this site!! Everyone here is here to help and is honest.... I never, at one second, in my whole year of planning for this trip worried about an Italian man touching me, ever! I don't know, maybe it's cause I'm from a City and I just know how to handle myself on buses, subways, el's, trolleys, etc... or maybe I just don't worry about it b/c it just doesn't come to my mind as something that happens today... Either way, listen to everyone here, they will help you and will lead you in the right direction!!! Have fun!!! CIAO!!!!!!!!!!!

We traveled all over Italy with 16 year old granddaughter and if anyone would have been looked at or touched, it would have been her and not once did there seem to be a problem. Relax and enjoy.

I am a 20-something that has lived in italy for several years now. For the most part, like any big city crowded with people, you have all sorts of guys/weirdos/bums/beggars/gypsies running around. The trains aren't as bad as your friend says. I've never had a problem. Plus (and this is a BIG plus) your husband is traveling with you. You won't have a problem. As far as inappropriate behavior by men goes, this is a different culture. Realize that they interpret things differently. Americans tend to SMILE at strangers a lot. Italians never do. As a woman, I would suggest forcing yourself not to smile at men. For me, this is a subconscious thing. I was raised to see this as polite (if you made eye contact- you smiled). You will find here that Italians stare a LOT and rarely smile at a stranger. I recommend doing the same. When in rome, do as the romans do. To add, before I knew better, I would smile at strangers here in italy and this caused some males to try and flirt or otherwise. It took me a bit to realize that I unknowingly started it by an innocent smile. Tell your husband to save the money and go with the trains. There won't be a problem.