Home base for Tuscany

Lucca is not small but smaller than Florence. It is on west side of Tuscany not well situated for day trips to see Tuscany and has a population of 88,000. I would not describe it as mellow. We spent four days and enjoyed it there but did not use it as a base for seeing Tuscany as it is too far from most of the province.. Look at Siena and the towns in the Chianti region between Siena and Florence.Some of them are Castellina, Radda, Greve, Panzano.
The original road from Siena to Florence is the historic SR 222, the Chiantigianna, one of Italy’s most beautiful drives and it is where you will discover these towns. If you prefer a larger town experience , stay in Siena which is smaller than Lucca. From this area you can also visit Pienza, Montepulciano and Montalcino in addition to the Chianti towns and villages listed earlier.

You have a lot of research to do. I suggest you start with the Search box top center, with terms like "car rental in italy" "Tuscan towns" "Florence Siena". Here's a sample:

https://community.ricksteves.com/travel-forum/italy/italy-towns-near-siena-which-town-s-would-you-recommend-using-as-a-base

You didn't say if you are renting a car, which is often recommended here, in Tuscany, even though this board favors rail travel. You do not want to drive in and out of a major city every day. But Florence is important.

Hello
I will not be renting a car. I think with two kids still needing car seats and a total of six of us it would be to much.

In another note. Do you think airline tickets are about to go way up? There is a 7 member of our group that wants to wait and buy her ticket later.

@roditron2022, Between gas prices and renewed interest in travel, airline tickets are only going to go up. I wouldn’t wait. What are you hoping to do/see in Tuscany? Lots of places aren’t accessible by train.

OP
Where are you flying home from? You will want to be in THAT city the night before departure.

Florence will give you the most transportation options. I’d say Siena is second best without a car.
But it really depends on what you want to see/do, where you want to go while in “Tuscany”

Lucca would be nice for a family for sure but due to where it is located doesn’t make a good base for a lot of day trips to places most people want to visit in Tuscany, so do your homework!
(not that you couldn’t spend bulk of your time in Lucca if that appeals, nothing wrong with staying put)

It’s my moms first trip to Europe and we have the small kids as well. I want to be careful that I don’t plan to much to make it more stressful than fun. I know I want a day trip to the coast and maybe a private wine tasting tour but don’t want to be running around to much. Less can be more with a big family in tow.

Pluses, indeed there are many to Florence, so long as you're not asking a Sienese. My vote, if this is first Tuscan visit, is to pick the capital of Tuscany and take full advantage of this incredible city's great walkability, its stupendous food (stay anywhere you like but be sure to have access to Mercato Centrale) all the architecture and art easily taken in just by the power of one's own two feet without even an entrance fee. I would choose a small group tour to get out and about for a Tuscan joyride (e.g. panoramic vista photo stop(s) by late model 8 passenger European van driven by your guide, brief town visit, winery tour(s) with extra cost lunch can be arranged with highly recommended toursbyroberto.com).

Do you think airline tickets are about to go way up?

I would see no reason to expect them to go down.

If you haven't booked your plane tickets, you could fly into Rome and out of Florence.

These are easy day trips by train from Lucca.

Beach town, Viareggio 40 minutes.

Small Medieval town. Pistoia. 39 minutes.

Spa town with beautiful fountains, Montecatini Terme/Alto, funicularup to the old town Alto. 27m

Montecarlo several wineries in this area. 21 min.

Barga. 48 minutes. Devil’s Bridge.

Florence. 1H20m.