Help! My father passed away & planning a trip to Rome & Have nowhere to start.

If you want relaxation, trees and water, I would head to the Italian lakes area and just do an Italy trip. Adding distant locations would just add more travel stress which is what you are trying to reduce. Keeping the trip to Italy you could fly into Milan and go to the lakes first and then head south to Tuscany and end in Rome, flying home from there. You could also easily reverse the trip if you wanted to do Rome first.

So sorry you've had such a hard time. Will you be traveling alone? When will you travel? If you only have 14 days I would recommend just one country. Italy can easily fill 2 weeks. Rome is wonderful, but definitely busy with few trees. Orvieto and Lucca are two cities to consider that are smaller, very scenic and not as hectic. You may want to consider Cinque Terra or the Amalfi Coast for water and beauty. Siena is also wonderful and Florence is well worth seeing. There will be old churches everywhere. Have you considered taking a Rick Steves tour? I only hear wonderful things about them. They go wondeful places, all the lodging and logistics are taken care of and folks seem to really enjoy meeting the others in the small group.

Maybe it would be a good idea to take a short trip somewhere in the US first? Like a National or State Park or somewhere where you can experience nature and spend some time outdoors. Driving around in New Mexico and Utah (little traffic) and taking in beautiful landscapes can be really wonderful. I think adding the stress of planning an international trip when you're not in the right state of mind doesn't seem like a great idea. I would take a breather for a few months before putting more stress on myself. (Also, Rome is not a relaxing place with "trees and water" or "tranquility", it is quite a busy big city.) At least consider taking a tour where the heavy lifting is done for you.

Thank you all. Sorry forgot to add that this trip is a gift that someone is paying for to help me recoup. So I get to pick anywhere in the world. It's not an easy thing to pick when the world is opened up to you. I am thinking June and I get to take someone with me.

I am still torn with it all. I chose Rome because of the old churches and thought it may help me bring some peace to me. I don't know why. My head seems to be so clouded.
But having to choose a place to go is daunting to say the least.

If the trip is a gift and doesn't have to be exercised right away, then take the time you need. If your head is as "clouded" as it sounds, then take a long breath. Step back a bit. There is no hurry. I think you're putting too much pressure on yourself. I think the best decisions in life are made when you're in a good frame of mind and not as emotionally charged. If it were me, I would give myself some months to grieve and shoot for a Fall trip (less heat and less crowds as well).

So sorry to hear your news. I agree with others. I would just stay in Italy. What about Rome and the Amalfi Coast. It is so beautiful on the Amalfi coast. Definitely beautiful trees and ocean! Another place that I really loved was Assisi. St. Francis of Assisi's message really helped me. Just sitting in the church he founded brought me peace. I hope this trip helps you find peace and happiness.

Something that might help is to search for Rick Steves' videos on Youtube for the various locations you might consider. Most are around 24 minutes and show different sites/activities. In addition to the travel guides and this forum, actually seeing some of the places and sites helped me figure out where we wanted to go for our trip this year.

So sorry about your losses. You are correct in knowing that your thinking is clouded right now. For what it's worth, from someone who also experienced a sudden, unexpected death, your thinking will be clouded for awhile, it's nature's way of keeping you sane. If you are looking for tranquillity and seek to find peace by visiting churches, I agree with the previous posters who advised limiting your trip to one country only, and I also agree that you will find beautiful churches everywhere in Italy. I would recommend flying into Florence, renting a car when you leave Florence and spending the first week of your trip in an agriturismo in Tuscany. Your car will afford you the ability to visit neighboring towns and the agriturismo will afford you the peace in the countryside that you need. If you want to visit Rome, where there are, indeed, many beautiful churches, I would do that after you have had a chance to relax during your first week. It's quite close to now to be planning a trip in June, and you may find accommodations scarce and airlines expensive at that time of the year. If you can, I would advise waiting til the early fall to take your trip. Crowds will be fewer and your mind will clear over time, allowing you to plan better. As mentioned, you will find Rick Steves books and this helpline to be valuable resources.

Oh my.
I am so very sorry for you and your family. You have had a horrid year indeed and not only need a break but deserve one as well.

I am just so lost and confused, it's overwhelming. Please help!

Take a deep breath; help - as you can see from the many responses above - is here!

The very last thing you need right now is to feel more lost than you already do, and the kind, wonderful people here on the forum will help you take care of THAT in short order.

I love old churches there is something so beautiful about them. That
is why I want to go to Rome

I love old churches too, and you can't go to a better place to find oodles of those than Rome. They have an estimated 900 of them and I swear 899 of them are a Santa-Maria-Of-Something (just kidding but there are a LOT.) And as busy as Rome is during the tourist season, I've found a good many I've had to share with fewer versus more bodies... St Peter's NOT being one of those but not my favorite anyway.

Rome isn't everyone's cuppa - some visitors find the crowds off-putting - but just as with the churches, there are nooks and crannies where most of them don't go so I wouldn't let that worry you. What time of year are you thinking of going? That can factor into the personal-comfort quotient as well.

Along with the churches - which could keep you busy for months - what else might you be interested in? Maybe some low-key activities such as some people-watching from a cafe table? Art? History?

You have two weeks; plenty of time to add another location, and Tuscany is a very good choice. I might recommend Florence as not only does it have a number of other delicious churches, it's a good hub for easy day trips to some the smaller towns in the region: a bus to Siena; a train to Lucca, etc.
You could even skip Florence, if you don't want another city, and spend a few nights in each of those towns. As stressed out as you are, I'm just thinking the less picking up and moving around you have to do, the better? Settling in for a stretch might be nice?

My friends and family tell me that I need trees & water to just relax
and detoxify all of what our family has been through, which I agree
with them.

Everyone travels differently and so one person's "relax" is another's "bored to tears!" What's nice about a long stretch darn near anywhere that's interesting is that you don't have to run about trying to fit EVERYTHING in. And you can flex as the spirit (and weather) moves you. Raining? Go see some churches. Sunny and beautiful? Walk some old neighborhoods, parks and outdoor ruins. Sightseeing IS relaxation for me as long at it's not at breakneck pace. But that may not be the case for you? Also, as much as I love the outdoors, I can get trees and water at home; I cannot get 2000-year-old Roman ruins, Medieval architecture and 14th-century churches. so there's that to consider.

That said, if you live in an arid part of the country, lakes and seas are novelties and could be very nice for you as well. You might enjoy the pretty lakes region on the northern end of Italy very much. It all depends on what YOU think would be most beneficial for your state of mind, how much moving about you're up for or what you're willing to make trade-offs on?

Is any of this making sense?

Sorry for the difficult time you are having. My one suggestion if you are mixing Rome with rural areas is to start with Rome and end in a peaceful relaxing location, not the other way around. Once my husband and I started a trip in rural areas and ended in Florence (not even as big as Rome) and felt we should have done the trip the other way around. You don't want to lose that peaceful feeling that you have gained and so desperately need. Good luck to you and hope you find the serenity you are looking for.

First of all, I'm so sorry to hear about your family losses.

I agree with a previous poster that you should consider a RS tour. You can relax while someone else handles the travel arrangements. There are other tour members for some social interaction, but plenty of free time to do your own thing. There are several tours in Italy. The Village Italy tour looks really interesting, although I have not taken it myself.

I'm so sorry for your losses. You've gotten a lot of good information here. I concur that watching the RS videos would be a great place to start to gather information.

I also agree that September or early October would be a great time to visit. It won't be as crowded and it won't be as hot.

Consider staying at an agriturismo in Tuscany. You could visit the churches in the small towns. We spent a morning in Radda. We spent 30 minutes in the church and had it all to ourselves. I highly recommend finding a centrally located Tuscan agriturismo and using it as a home base for your trip. You could visit Florence and Siena for a larger city experience. If you just wanted to relax away from the hustle and bustle, you could just explore the surrounding countryside.

I also highly recommend attending the Vesper service at the Abbazia di Monte Oliveto Maggiore (http://www.monteolivetomaggiore.it/lang1/). The service is done in Gregorian chant. We were the only tourists at the service we attended and we found it very peaceful and soothing. The grounds of the Abbey are gorgeous and also very peaceful.

I agree that Rome is certainly worth a visit, but it will be just as crowded as Paris or Venice. There's a cruise ship port nearby and they bus in thousands of tourists every day. Our guide in Rome says that it is wall to wall people in the summer.

I am so sorry for you loss. After years of caring for a severely disabled husband, I've done a lot of daydreaming about the kind of trip you're talking about and Rome is a primary daydream destination for exactly the reasons you state. I crave the peace and beauty of the ancient churches. Even St Peters can be calming if you allow yourself to be still and soak in the sacred surroundings. St Peters is enormous and even with huge crowds I have always been able to find an uncrowded spot.

That said, Rome is also enormous and if you or your companion feel compelled to do all the sights then you can easily be overwhelmed. In my opinion, the expectations of your companion are more important than the destination. Maybe you can set some ground rules before you go? Your companion should understand that you are seeking rest and rejuvenation, not running a marathon. Go with the idea that this is your first trip, not your only trip, so if you miss a must-do this time then you'll catch it the next time. More wandering and less rushing. I highly recommend plopping yourself on one of Rome's sunny piazzas, sipping some wine, and watching the kids kick soccer balls while the Romans pass through simply living their Roman lives.

On the flip side, while small town Tuscany and Amalfi are heart-breakingly scenic, they're also short on the activities you might need to keep your thoughts from wiggling back to the dark side. If you like to hike, that's a great way to stimulate both mind and body but I wouldn't expect gorgeous scenery to entertain me more than a day or two without some sort of activity or day trip to see something new.

Enjoy your trip planning. Peace.

I am sorry for your loss. We, too, had a difficult 2016 for different/similar reasons and planning my 2017 trip is what got me through the second half of it! My husband knew I needed a diversion while I took care of him. So I suggest you take several deep breaths, relax as best you can, and sit down and clarify what you want. Will trees divert you or just give you more time to think, which I don't think you need to do? While I love to travel solo, I am mostly taking a tour this time for this very reason (less stress, more diversions) and a few other reasons. I can relax, be alone if I want or not, and don't have to add the stress of changing bases, etc. I'm not necessarily pro-tour, but maybe sometimes they are beneficial. Another reason I signed up for a tour was so my husband doesn't worry about me...this time. Maybe your Mom would feel better if you went on a tour this time as well so she doesn't worry? Did you ever think of the GAS tour or MyWay tour or the small village Italy tour? Just thoughts as I'll repeat I/we are independent travelers, but some times it might be better to take a tour (I hope this is the case. :) ) There is also less stress in planning it. Best thoughts to you and your Mom, Wray

I guess there are a couple of things we're unclear on? Are you going solo? I got the feeling you were but you haven't actually said that you were.

And have you traveled alone and/or out of the country before? Again, I don't sense a lot of anxiety about moving between countries in Europe so my sense is that this might not be your first rodeo?

I'll be the respectful dissenter on the tour-versus-independent choice. Having most of the details and itinerary taken care of for you might be a welcome benefit if that piece is adding to your stress. But you also appear to have TIME; the plan it doesn't need to happen overnight!

Tours are terrific choices for some and not such great choices for others depending on how you like to travel. I'm not wild about every piece of the planning process BUT it allows us to do exactly what we want, when we want to, and for as long or not as we want to. The RS tours are very popular as they're very good (!) but involve too much moving around for us, and too little time in places we know we'd like to stretch out in. That would be really stressful for us at this stage of our lives. You? Might be different.

So there's no right or wrong except what works for YOU. :O)

So sorry for your losses last year.

My advice would be to spend a week in Assisi, the Umbrian countryside is beautiful, and Assisi is a very spiritual place. You can daytrip from there to many smaller towns and cities in the area. Or fly into Milano and go to the Lakes (Lago Maggiore or Lago di Como) for the water and trees you might want. Beautiful mountains with lots of cities within reach for visits from a home base like Stresa.

Firenze, Siena or Arezzo might be good for a few days, then end your trip in Roma. Stay somewhere near Saint Peter's Basilica, there are quiet neighborhoods there.

I'm so sorry to hear about your recent family tragedies. Expected or not, the death of anyone close to us is always a shock.

I'm not Catholic, but there is something special about the churches that touches me. I always try to find a place to venerate the Virgin or a female saint, light a candle and say a prayer for the women of the world.

In Rome you can find many comforting places, including my favorite (so far) church there, the Basilica of San Clemente. If you look it up, it may sound touristy with its multiple layers of Christian (and not) worship, but when we went there were few visitors.

One way I find to have peace in a busy place is to rent an apartment so that I'm totally on my own schedule with no limits on breakfast times or need to clear out of the place for people to clean.

You have enough time to rent apartments both in Rome and in Florence. You can use Booking.com to search for lodging of all kinds for you and your companion, including apartments. So you can compare potential costs and amenities. You don't have to book through them. In most cases you can Google the lodging and go directly to their website to book.

There are other resources like VRBO to find apartments if you decide to go that route. Besides the freedom, I love shopping for and eating some meals at home. And most apartments have a washing machine and at least a drying rack so you don't need to pack 2 weeks' worth of clothes.

One more thing, it will be warm to hot in Rome and Florence in June, so you'll probably want to make sure that wherever you stay is air-conditioned.

If you haven't explored this Rick Steves website, there is great information to be had in the Travel Tips section as well as in the Watch, Read, Listen section, especially under Watch...TV Shows...Italy.

I prefer both the old churches and the atmosphere of Venice over those in the bigger city of Rome. It partly depends on the style and age of architecture you prefer. But I'm afraid you'll be disappointed with Rome, unless you specifically want to see St. Peter's Basilica and the Roman ruins. Italy has churches all over, but a couple of other favorites are in Siena and Orvieto.

Links to watch Rick's Italy TV shows and other info at https://www.ricksteves.com/europe/italy will give you a quick introduction to the options.

But I'm afraid you'll be disappointed with Rome, unless you
specifically want to see St. Peter's Basilica and the Roman ruins.

Laura, why would she be disappointed with Rome unless those two specific things are on her agenda? I guess I'm confused.

I am sorry for the trauma, the loss and the heartache you are suffering, which must seem unbearable when you have had a number of blows in such a short space of time.
Churches are indeed a peaceful place for reflection and contemplation, even for the non-religious. Rome and Florence, both with lots of churches between them.
Time with nature, near water, or in the mountains is also good for the soul. Verona, Lake Garda, the Dolomites may be worth consideration here.
I would say Venice is a unique place that lifts the spirits, especially when the sun is shining.

Spdeee,

I'm so sorry for your loss...

I'd also suggest visiting one of the beautiful Italian lakes (Maggiore, Como or Garda) and Tuscany &/or Umbria.

You could watch Rick Steves' videos here and see what catches your eye.

Do consider waiting till early Fall, especially if you want to avoid the crowds in June.

sp,

I'm truly sorry to hear about the tragic events you've suffered in the last few months. I hope that you'll be able to find peace after these losses.

It's wonderful that you someone is willing to help you by providing a "recovery holiday". A few thoughts come to mind.....

• I'm not sure a tour is the best solution in these circumstances. You'd have to tailor your schedule to suit the tour, and the busy pace may not provide enough time for tranquility and reflection (although it might take your mind off things).
• As others have mentioned, it would probably be best to limit your stay to Italy this time, rather than trying to fit too much in. It would be very easy to arrange a two week holiday in Italy.
• My suggestion would be to start in a quieter location, and Varenna (Lake Como) or Stresa (Lake Maggiore) would be good choices. Both will provide "trees & water" along with some elegant Villas (maybe Clooney will invite you for lunch ;-) Work your way south from there including stops in Tuscany (Florence, Siena) or perhaps Umbria (Orvieto, Assisi) and finish in Rome. I suspect that where ever you go is going to be "over populated" and that will be especially true in Rome. For that reason, I'd structure the trip more towards the smaller locations and just spend a few days in Rome at the end. There will most likely be long queues to get into St. Peter's, so you'll have to contend with that. There are other, less "populated" Churches in Rome that you could visit.
• Another location you could consider is the Cinque Terre, although that will likely be a bit "busy" in June as well. It's right on the ocean and a perfect place to do as much or as little as you want (and also to enjoy some great Pesto in the area where it was invented).
• Most towns in Italy have "old churches". The Duomo in Florence (with Brunelleschi's dome) is magnificent and there's also the Basilica of Santa Maria Novella, The Duomos in Siena and Orvieto are incredible (the Signorelli frescoes in Orvieto are beautiful), and of course the Basilica of St. Francis in Assisi is also wonderful. One point to remember is that there's usually a dress code for visiting Italian Churches so you'll need to plan accordingly.

It would help to know where you're flying from? Most of us put that information in our profiles. Keep in mind that you'll generally land in Europe the day after you depart your home airport and the last day is required for the flight home. Therefore your trip will actually only have 12 days for sightseeing.

It would also help to know whether you've travelled in Europe before? There are a few things that you'll have to be aware of, especially when using trains and other public transit in Italy.

I would highly recommend having a look at the RS Italy 2017 guidebook as that will help you plan your touring efficiently. It would be useful to pack that along for reference.

Let us know your preferences and I'm sure the group here will be able to help you put together an Itinerary.

If it were me, I'd stay away from the bigger cities that are so hectic & crowded. I agree with some of the other writers & feel the beauty & peacefulness of Tuscany is so relaxing. I can't say how Cinqua Terre would be, we're not going until May but from what I've heard, the beaches are rocky except for one. We loved seeing the churches in Florence & was in awe seeing the statue of David. We stayed at Creatoile in Tuscany, a RS favorite agritourism & took day trips to Sienna & many of the smaller towns around. I am so sorry for your losses. Perhaps the peace of the hills will give you the peace & comfort your looking for, that you need.

I'm so sorry. I can't tell you where to go, but I can tell you if that avoiding crowds and stress is the point, avoid Rome. It is if anything more stressful than Paris. Certainly it is as crowded. I haven't been, but very much want to go to Barcelonia, but it too is said to be very crowded at all times of year. So if you are set on travel abroad think smaller. London, Paris, Venice, Rome, Florence, Barcelonia, Lisbon, Prague, are all crowded as are well known smaller places like The Cinque Terre and Cesky Krumlov.

The only large city I've been to that felt layed back and unhurried was Amsterdam. It's a good walking city which might be what you need. From there many small towns are less than an hour away.

The Italian lakes in the north are another good possibility. As is hiking in Tuscany, much of England, Switzerland, Bavaria, the French Alps. That assumes of course that you like hiking. Many companies will book your rooms, plan your walks and transport your luggage.

You could rent a house boat south of Paris or a narrow boat in England or Wales.

With a car, you could connect small towns in Bavaria, England, Wales, France, The Czech Republic, Tuscan, south Italy, Spain, or elsewhere.

Not that I've done all kf the above yet. Or the boats either. What I have I have done is traveled places large and small by train. And I found the small places relaxing and the larger cities energizing but not so relaxing. Hiking is always a suit experience and a crowd beater. Walk half a miles and you lose 90%of the people.

Small towns often have spectacular churches. Choose a general place and than research.

Good luck.

Hi,
I'm very sorry to hear of your losses. Italy is a wonderful place to find peace. I think there is no place quite like it on Earth for soothing the soul.

As a professional historian, I adore Rome. Their churches are magnificent with some of the finest works of art around. Raphael, Bernini, Michelangelo, Caravaggio, oh my! In Rome I recommend:
- San Luigi dei Francesci—known for Caravaggio paintings of St. Mathew
- St. Ignatius—beautiful painted ceiling (like Sistine) by Andrea Pozzo
- Basilica di San Pietro in Vincoli—Michelangelo's Moses
- Il Gesu, lapis lazuli, gorgeous
- Santa Maria sopra Minerva—Gothic interior with Bernini elephant out front
- Santa Maria in Trastevere--lovely mosaics
- Basilica San Clemente--medieval church on top of an early one on top of a Mithraeum
- St. Peter's Basilica--Michelangelo's Pieta, Bernini's Canopy, and so much more
- Santa Maria del Popolo--Caravaggio, Raphael, and Bernini
- And one of the oldest churches in the area--The Pantheon

There are other great churches, but these are some of my favorites.

I would also recommend going to Florence for a few days. The train ride from Rome is only an hour and a half and you can ride in comfort while surveying the Tuscan countryside. Whereas Rome shines for its ancient treasures, Florence is a Renaissance Era wonderland. Florence has magnificent churches, too, such as Santa Croce, Santa Maria Novella, Brancacci Chapel, San Lorenzo, Orsanmichele, and Santa Maria del Fiore (Duomo). Both Rome and Florence have magnificent piazzas made for people-watching and contemplation. If you want some other ideas, I've written about both cities on my blog: https://roaminghistorian.com
When in Rome, you can make an easy day trip to Ostia Antica. From Florence, you can take a quick train ride to Pisa, Lucca, Siena, Arezzo, and a host of other cities.

I hope your trip helps you relax and revive. Buon viaggio!

Wow! Thank you all for your help. I just reall all your responses and the more I read the more I think I wluld like to stay in Tuscany and just go to the smaller cities and relax. Sorry that I didn't state on my first comment but it would be June. But this is a gift and now wondering if may might be better with less crowds?
I am a foodie and do love country style places with beautiful green hills because they seem so relaxing. I love wine too. So maybe it would be a good idea to land in Rome then go to Tuscany. But hearing the overwhelming amount of people that go (from comments) it almost sounds off putting a bit.

Yes, it's a gift but I truly feel that I do need a vacation soon. Dealing with my brothers death then my dad soon after, I think that I am now just processing it all and have become quite depressed.

I will watch some videos and see what inspires me and go from there and if I have questions, I will chime back in later this evening.

Again thank you all for being so sweet. Just trying to figure out how to get to another country is overwhelming.

I know they are quite close but you might like to split your time evenly between Florence and Bologna, as they each have a different focus when it comes to day tripping. Also, a fresh environment after one week may be welcome.

From Florence ....
Siena, Pisa, Lucca, San Gimignano, Arezzo, Chianti.

From Bologna ....
Ferrara, Ravenna, Verona, Parma, Modena.

I love wine too. So maybe it would be a good idea to land in Rome then go to Tuscany. But hearing the overwhelming amount of people that go (from comments) it almost sounds off putting a bit.
You could consider a couple of days in Rome to start, then decompress in Tuscany. We love Rome and my wife are planning to take a "Rome only" trip in the near future. We're tough old birds and can fight the crowds with the best of them!

Since you're a foodie and love wine, boy do I have the place for you! I didn't want to be specific in my first response, but we spent a week December 2015 at Castello di Verrazzano ( http://www.verrazzano.com/en/) just outside of Greve, which is 18km south of Florence, right on the famed SR222. There's a small agriturismo on the property. I think there's only six rooms. Across the courtyard is an apartment, where Isabella, our housekeeper lives. She was available to help 24/7. We were the only guests the entire week we were there and they really spoiled us.

Castello di Verrazzano produces fine wines, including a Chiani, a Chianti Reserva and a Super Tuscan. They also produce heavenly balsamic vinegar. The vinegar is the real deal and sells for $80 for 250ml!

You can take a tour of the winery and they offer an incredible food and wine pairing for lunch. We sat down at 12:30. They new we had no plans for the afternoon, so we were able to take our time. The winery owner and chief wine maker were in the restaurant tasting the new vintage and they kept bringing over unlabeled bottles of wine for us to try and give feedback. There were several courses of food, including wild boar salami from the winery. All of it was cooked over a 10 foot open coal fireplace!

The breakfasts were both plentiful and wonderful. We ate a hearty breakfast, then just had a snack for lunch.

Just down the hill in Greve is a terrific little local restaurant, La Cantina. It is owned by Alessandro and his mother "mama Lorena " is the cook. When we were there, the rest of the customers were locals. Alessandro went out of his way to make us feel welcome, even teaching us some rudimentary Italian! They also offer cooking lessons and we'd love to return to spend a relaxing day with them. http://www.pizzerialacantina.it/about-us.html

Even if you decide to stay somewhere else, this gives you an idea of what is available. Our time in Tuscany was magical, the best trip we've ever taken.

Planning a trip like this might best be done in a few months, when you have had a little time to heal. Is there any chance you could get away for a long weekend to some peaceful place in the US within the next month or so? After a painful loss a few years ago, my husband and I spent a long weekend in Cannon Beach, Oregon and it helped us immensely. For us, walking along the empty beach in February with no sounds except the birds and the sea soothed our souls. You might find similar comfort along the coast of Maine or in a national forest, and little towns nearby would have churches to visit.

Then come home, watch Rick Steves videos, pick a place that excites you, and plan a trip for fall.

Bless your heart, Charlene- my thoughts exactly.