Going to Italy in May trip schedule need help

I wouldn't bother going all the way to Venice for one night.

I wouldn't bother going all the way to Venice for one night.

In the absence of more information, I'm going to make my recommendations based on the assumptions that you've bought your ticket - - hence into and out of Milan - - and that this is your first visit to Italy. If you arrive early enough in the day, I recommend that you go straight to Venice. If late, sleep the night in Milan and proceed the next morning to Venice. Two full days is good for Venice, and it's a much more attractive destination than Milan. Add the other day to your miscellaneous choices. I'll just throw in that Orvieto is, imo, much more appealing than any of the misc towns you listed; and it's easily reached from Rome. Portofino is mostly a resort for the very rich. A scenic location, but not much else there.

If you're in the vicinity of Pisa, I'd highly recommend visiting Lucca.

We are staying with friends in Milan

We get into Milan early in the morning

Milan 2 days 6-8th,
Venice 1 day 8-9th,
Florence 3 days 9-12th,
Rome 5 days 12-17th,
Misc.Travel 3 days Pisa, Cinque Terre, Portofino, Santa Margherita Parma 17-20th,
Milan last day 20th,

Instead:

Milano 6-8 (visit friends)

Firenze: 8-12 (use extra night/day for Siena, perhaps)

Cinque Terre: 12-15 (see Pisa on the way, SML, Portofino while there. Stay in one town with in the CT itself or SML. Parma is far off your path )

Rome: 15-20

Then Milan and home.

Venezia for one day is not a great use of time. Skip it an enjoy your other stops more.

Drive from Firenze to Pisa then on to La Spezia. Drop the car in La Spezia and proceed by train.

Count nights not days. You have 15 nights on the ground in total.
First two or three nights are with your friends in Milan.
In Venice you should spend two nights at the very minimum, better if three.
Three nights for Florence. More if you take day trips to other Tuscan locations.
Two nights at the Cinque Terre is the max you can have
Four nights in Rome is all you can have.
The last night must be spent in Milan if you depart from there, but the best option would be an open jaw flight with arrival in. Milan and return from Rome.

I can take off 1 night off of Rome and use it for Venice.
I was just trying to be in Rome on a Wednesday to see the Pope
Update:
Milan 2 nights
Venice 2 nights
Florence 4 nights ( go to Parma/Pisa )The only reason going to Parma is for my husband because of the meat
Rome 4 nights
Then take Train to
Cinque Terre 1 night,
Misc Portofino, Santa Margherita to see. By train working are way back to Milan not sure were we might stay
Milan Last night
Hopefully this makes more sense

I agree with Roberto's restructuring of your itinerary.
Pisa/Lucca can be a daytrip from Florence. I would suggest you do both.
Parma is less than an hour from Florence by train, you could daytrip there as well. Add the day(s) to Florence and you would still have 2 nights for Cinque Terre. Portofino and Sta Margherita are similar enough to Cinque Terre that you might consider not doing all of them.
By the way, Prosciutto di Parma is available throughout Tuscany and the rest of Italy. If you are looking for a food excursion, you could get to Bologna from Florence in 35 minutes. You will most likely have to change trains in Bologna to get to Parma, anyway. If you and your husband are meat lovers, don't miss the Bistecca Fiorentina in Florence, it takes two to even have the possibility of finishing it.

Cinque Terre 1 night,
Misc Portofino, Santa Margherita to see. By train working are way back to Milan not sure were we might stay

Portofino and SML are easily seen while staying in the CT. You do not have to change hotels to do it and won't really save any time working your way back to Milan, at least not enough time to make changing hotels worthwhile. You could easily stay in Monterosso al Mare (northern most town of the CT) and be poised for a daytrip that includes both SML and Portofino. In fact we hiked from SML to Portofino one fall day, had lunch, and took a boat back to SML. Nice day although we had the most expensive lunch ever (for us) in pricey Portofino!