Giving a gift to a host

Lisa - no gifts. Its a business. You wouldn't bring a gift to the manager at Motel 6, would you?

Hi,

I have never given a gift to a hotel or B&B. About the most I have done is mail pictures before the digital age. I only give a gift if we are staying at someone's house.

Mary

The only reason I ask this is because I recall reading in a Rick Steves tour guide that it is customary to give a small gift to the host at the small inns. It never crossed my mind to do this-until I read it. It's one less thing to mess with, that's for sure-if it's not necessary!

Don't do it. Steves is wrong here.

Well, dang it! I'm glad I asked! Don't wanna look like a complete idiot!

Lisa, I wouldn't go it either unless it is someplace you return to quite frequently and have become somewhat friendly with the owners. Then you would be doing it because you want to, not because you feel that you should. As stated earlier, it is a business, they are taking your money, not letting you stay free.

Nope, no gifts unless you are a guest in someone's home. That said, when we take RS tours, we being a small gift for our guides. They are not allowed by policy to accept tips but we feel a small gift is appropriate for all the work they have done to make our trip memorable.

Thanks for the quick responses, everybody! As I said earlier, one less thing to deal with! Whew!!

Don't do it? I just did it twice in the last couple of weeks, and it enriched the experience.

My 14-y/o grandson and I just spent four nights in a Dominican convent in central Rome, then five nights in a small pension (where I had also spent a week last summer) in the old city of Munich. As I live in the Portland area, I packed two copies of a thin, lightweight $5 souvenir picture book of the Columbia River. I gave one to the nuns at the convent, who (speaking only Italian and French) seemed genuinely appreciative of the gesture.

At the pension in Munich, the owner would be in the breakfast room each morning, and we would chat (she helping me with my German) for half an hour or so at a time. Some of that conversation was about my area of the US, which she had never visited. When I presented the book to her, she was thrilled. She turned the pages and asked about the mountains, bridges, wildlife and waterfalls in the photos. She introduced me to a friend of hers, an American ex-pat who came to Munich from Oregon 20 years ago. She excitedly showed him the book, which he said made him homesick. On my previous visit I noticed that there was a bookshelf full of travel books (including some Rick Steves titles) in a common room, so I knew a picture book from the US would not go to waste in any case.

A big part of my travel experience is meeting people and engaging in conversation, in their language if possible. in doing so I find they are often as curious about my homeland as I am theirs. A little gift, especially a souvenir of home, promotes that kind of experience.

Would I give the book to the impersonal, English-speaking desk clerk of a big hotel? Probably not. But in these cases I was glad I did.

The hotels you listed are probably large and commercial enough that such a gift might not be so necessary or appreciated. But if you visit with the agriturismo owners for any length of time, sharing with them a souvenir from home might be a lof fun.

Oddly, my Italian hosts give me gifts before I leave. Only there's no room in my bag for them. And it's too late to mail them home. So I put them in plastic grocery bags I save from Conad city, walk to houses of people I met, and hook them on their front doorknobs.

Or I put clothes I acquired traveling out on countertops outside my room. One time I had bought nice luggage at ritzy La Rinascente at Firenze, but It wasn't suitable for me. My Chinese B and B host at Rome loved it, so I left it with her, and I went to Termini and bought luggage I just love.

Often I buy stuff I cannot bring home with me, and that stuff goes in the plastic gift bags or out on countertops outside my room.

At this convent at Rome there were two housekeepers who were like sisters to me. I gave them sizeable tips, and they were so touched that my surprise at their responses is now a good memory of that time.

I say to play it by ear. Things happen. Packing small lightweight souvenirs from home is a good idea, or I ask my hosts if there is something they want from the US. I know people who come home and mail back boxes of US items requested by their Italian hosts.

Well, you're not going to offend anyone by doing that, especially at a Mom and Pop place, but they sure as heck won't be expecting it. It's totally your call, but I've been to Italy five times, stay only at those smaller places and I've never given a tangible gift beyond the money that I've paid. Frankly, the gift that would mean the most to them is a good review on TripAdvisor.

I visited a ceramics shop 3 times on 3 different trips to Assisi and become friendly with the owner. The last time I planned a trip there, I decided I really wanted to bring the owner a gift. I packed a little "Colorado" local package for him. A Colorado t-shirt, some candy from local companies. My daughter gift wrapped it. it was a bit of a pain to get it over in my luggage unharmed, but it felt so good to surprise him with a gift.

He loved the local candy (chocolate bars). In return, he surprised me with a gift of a bottle of his families olive oil. He told me the story of how his family makes about 100 bottles a year from the olive trees on their property. I have to tell you, it was hard for me to use that oil, I wanted it to last forever!

So, point of my story is...if you feel you've "friended" someone I think it's wonderful to bring a small token/gift when visiting. Something that is local from your city or state that is special is best. With the global economy and McDonalds and Starbucks almost everywhere, something that has the best meaning is something locally crafted.

If it has meaning to you to present a gift, I say go for it. Why not show that we can be kind and thoughtful to others? Even if it is a business, and perhaps you only see them one time, you will make a lasting impression!

I gave the the wife half of the owners of a small hotel in Scotland a gift, but it was because she hauled out her sewing machine and stitched up the seam in my pants which had split sitting on the heather. :) I bought her some nice bath things at a local store. I think that when someone does something extra for you and does not ask for payment that you might want to give a gift, but in those instances there is no need to bring something from the US. Just give something similar to what you would give here to a B&B or other host/hostess that helps you out of a jam.

Thanks for all the advice! I think I will play it by ear-obviously it could go either way!

Just a word of caution regarding gifting bath articles. I went with a friend to Russia when she adopted a child several years ago. It was expected that the adoptive parents would give gifts to the children's caretakers at the orphanage. Since these were all women, the first impulse was to gift toiletries - lotions, shower gel etc. However, the adoptive parents were explicitly told not to do that as it would be considered an insult, as if implying that the people were not clean. The point, I guess, is to know the custom of the country that you are visiting.

For our trip in March to Paris, Lucerne, Florence & Salerno, we brought a few small boxes of hand-made toffee from our town. We hadn't planned on using one in Paris at our boutique hotel by the Sorbonne, but the concierge was so helpful to us during our 4 night stay that we gave her one when we left. In our Swiss hotel, the service was impeccable but we were handled by a few different people and it didn't seem appropriate. At our apartment in Florence, absolutely. The older woman who owned the apartment was thrilled. And at our B&B in Salerno, we were treated like family, so we gave one to the owner and one to the caretaker.

I really don't seem the harm, unless one would be concerned about an unintentional insult, as stated above.

I think unless you have stayed at a place numerous times and are on first name basis with the owners it would appear odd. Put yourself in their shoes for a minute. You have seen hundreds, maybe thousands of guests. Then one pops up with a gift? Why? I don't know you. Why are you giving me this? Are you hoping for some kind of favor, discount? Do you give this to every hotelier? I would roll my eyes as you walk away. You want to do something nice for me. Be polite, friendly, cordial and write a good review on trip advisors. We are not friends, no need for the personal.