Gifts for hosts?

In 2015, we brought 1# wrapped boxes of chocolate toffee from Chicago to our Paris hotelier, our Florence apartment landlord and our B&B owner in Salerno. All were appreciated. I had heard about this practice before we had left and I thought it was a nice touch, if only to maybe change peoples' minds about 'ugly Americans'.

Why bring a gift for a person with whom you have a commercial arrangement? The B&B is a business, not a friend’s house. If, when you are there, you find the owners helpful and you enjoy your stay, buy them a bottle of wine or a bunch of flowers or just thank them effusively and promise a good review.

What kind of host? Thst might make a difference as to the kind of gift (local tea towel or food i.e. maple syrup from NE vs chocolates). Personally, I wouldn't be providing gifts for purchased accommodation hosts unless it was a place that went above and beyond expected services or some sort of relationship was built over time. But genuine acts of kindness are always appreciated.

I have never done this, never considered it and never will do it. They are business people, not family!

I've taken locally made maple chocolates when we couchsurfed, since we were staying for free, but I've never taken a gift for airbnb or regular b&b hosts. Well, once I did gift our airbnb hostess with one of the packs of chocolates because she cooked us supper and took us to a small village the next day, and to a park for a walk with her and her dog. You could always take something edible/lightweight and if you feel like the hosts have gone above and beyond, then gift them...if not, then you have a snack.

I could be wrong about this, but chrysanthemums seem to be cemetery flowers in Italy. We have only ever given our B&B or airbnb hosts a small gift or flowers after our stay, not before and only if we really wanted to. Like, our wonderful host for 5 weeks in Florence did not have a teakettle in the apartment, so we bought her one. It's easier to see what might be a nice gift after a stay. But it is absolutely not necessary.

As Jay mentioned, it’s simply a nice thing to do....certainly not necessary, but always appreciated. We often pack small boxes of our local candy as well.

Down here we have this thing called Southern Hospitality. When possible, we like to present a small gift that is indicative of where we live when staying at a small B&B, something that demonstrates we put some thought into the gift. I travel frequently for work and I've even given a small gift (not a tip) to Hilton staff members who went above and beyond.

Yes, it is a business, but the business is owned by human beings. Small gifts can help us connect at a human level. I never expect anything in return - no discounts, special treatment or favors. I'm only after deepening my experience with people I'd like to know.

When we stayed a week at Castello di Verrazzano in Tuscany, Marco was our server at breakfast. It was off season, so most mornings we were the only guests. We became fast friends. We mentioned we were going to attend Vespers at the Abbey of Monte Oliveto di Maggiore that evening, since the service was in Gregorian chant. Marco mentioned he loved Gregorian chant and had many CDs. The next morning at breakfast we presented him with a CD we got at the Abbey. He was visibly moved that we had thought of him. He excused himself and in a minute returned with a small jar of honey produced at the winery.

At the end of our stay, there were hugs and tears all around with Marco, Isabella and Gino. They were no longer staff who waited on us, they were new friends who we regretted leaving.

As our hometown hero Otis Redding said: "Try a Little Tenderness".

I usually pack a small box of local chocolate or PNW smoked salmon if we are staying at a BNB or guest house

DougMac - I’m also from the Deep South, Louisiana to be exact. Trust me, I understand Southern hospitality. Still find this concept very odd of giving gifts under these circumstances.

It almost smacks of being Lady Bountiful. I find this idea very odd and wonder what the recipients actually make of it, while they tuck the offering away in a bottom drawer.

The original suggestion came from Rick Steve’s travel guidelines. I’ve gotten such a variety of responses!! I think I will go the route of being gracious and pack a small local gift for our hosts. Thank you all for your suggestions!!!

First, good for you for not wanting to violate some local tradition. However, if you are talking about people you are already paying for something, like lodging, it's not remotely a part of Italian culture to give them some sort of gift on top of that. If you go ahead and do this, you won't be countering the "ugly American" stereotype so much as confirming the "clueless American" stereotype. But that's harmless enough.

As suggested above, the best gift you could give them is a positive review online. They will love you for that.

It is listed on his suggested packing list and I can’t remember the other location. Will look it up. It was suggested for the small family inns, etc.

Geez Louise.

That's where I got the idea, from Rick's notes, and then his piece many years ago on 60 Minutes where he was saying how ethnocentric we are, how we (and I mean Americans in general, not me or many of us on this forum) expect English to be spoken everywhere, how thinking we're the only ballgame in town has contributed to us being thought of as 'ugly Americans'.

It's just a token gesture, not a political statement. And it warmed up people more quickly to converse easier for the limited time we were spending in any one locale.

Do what y'all want...

Haha. Thanks, Jay. I wasnt really expecting it to be controversial!!! Definitely planning on taking some local items. ❤️

I love what DougMac wrote:

Yes, it is a business, but the business is owned by human beings. Small gifts can help us connect at a human level. I never expect anything in return - no discounts, special treatment or favors. I'm only after deepening my experience with people I'd like to know.

Yes, it’s totally unnecessary, but I think most people appreciate this kind gesture.

Since I love flowers I always notice florists during my travels. If I happen to see a florist, I buy a small flowering plant, then I write a short note of gratitude, and I’d leave it on their desk, or give to my B&B host the day before my departure.

Have a wonderful trip!

If I happen to see a florist, I buy a small flowering plant, then I’d write a short note of gratitude, and I’d leave it on their desk or present it to my B&B host the day before my departure.

And now you've burdened them with a plant that they'll have to nurture and remember to water frequently! ; )

If you gave one to my wife it'd be dead in two weeks.

I find the concpet of giving a gift to hotel/B&B staff a bit odd, even a bit over familiar but I can't see anyone truly being offended by it. I can imagine things like teatowels (as has been suggested) receiving an odd reaction and no doubt placed at the bottom of a drawer never to see the light of day again.

If, however, by referring to hosts you are describing people who you are going to be staying with then yes, I can understand the concept of bringing a gift.

Yes, it is a business, but the business is owned by human beings. Small gifts can help us connect at a human level. I never expect anything in return - no discounts, special treatment or favors. I'm only after deepening my experience with people I'd like to know.

I understand the intentions, but I have to ask. If you are in fact referring to hosts in an apartment rental situation (e.g., AirBnB), wouldn't you also want to provide gifts to the hotel management when staying at a hotel? I don't mean tips, although that does seem to be an implied question. Or is this a decision dependent on the size of the business?

Well, the giving of a gift makes the giver feel good, even if the gifted is bemused. Do what makes you feel good. I feel good treating the owners of a B&B as respectable business people who had a vacancy in their establishment when I needed it.