first time europe....

saskia,

As this is your first trip to Europe, my first suggestion would be to read Europe Through The Back Door prior to your trip. When is this trip taking place?

It would be helpful if you could add a few more details. You've mentioned a couple of places, but in order to provide the best transportation suggestions it would help to have some idea of all the places you'll be visiting, and in which order. Transport is generally very easy, and you may or may not benefit from Passes.

Just curious, which part of Ticino is your family located?

I agree:

1. Read "Europe through the backdoor" and add small post-it notes to every page that contains something interesting.
   
2. Transfer all the post-it notes (from the second half of the book) to a (large) map of Europe. That will help you get an idea of what can be done in three weeks.
3. Ask your family in Europe for their comments
4. Come back and ask any outstanding questions

Plan where you want to go first, with the assumption that there will be a train or bus. Allow yourself at least two nights and a full day at most destinations; maybe more for big cities or hubs that you can use for daytrips; or more if it's going to take a full day of travel to get there. Only after the trip is fairly well planned can you reserve train tickets or compare the value of a rail pass. There's no deadline to buy train tickets. Rail pass prices vary considerably with which countries and how many train rides you want to cover. How to Look Up Train Schedules and Routes Online gives you the DB train schedule link and tips for using it. When you're ready, see other topics at https://www.ricksteves.com/travel-tips/transportation/trains.

saskia, take a day off. Think about something else (like packing). Sometimes a little time away from the route planning can be very beneficial.

HI everyone... thank you for all your support... so, I am turning 50 Nov 26th so this trip is a gift for me to me by the grace of God. I am leaving USA Nov 21 and arriving in Zurich Nov 22 at 8:00 am. Then, taking train to Locarno and family picking me up to drive to Ticino (6677 Moghegno). I will be sleeping in Ticino until Nov. 28th, in other words that will be my home base, I guess. Then, depart Ticino to visit family in San Marco Argentano for a few days as well. I just need to spend time with family in these two places and thereafter and in any order all is game. I would like to visit Rome, Venice, Lake Como, MURANOOOO, Amalfi Coast, Tuscany, France , Germany..????as you can see I am all over the place. I will tell you that I don't need to visit thousands of museums or galleries.. I am very outdoors and I love nature and views. I do want to see the major historical sites, but I don't have to spend endless hours looking at art and so on...You all are probably thinking I am a basket case....what else can I say???
thank you all....I really do appreciate this time and patience that you are granting me....

Oh, San Marco Argentano is way down in southern Italy, north of Cosenza. That's a long, long way from your starting point in Moghegno. You can take a look at some basic transportation options on Rome2Rio.com. It appears that there is train service (multiple changes required) between Locarno and Paola. The train portion of the trip will take 10 to 12 hours. You can get a bus from Moghegno to Locarno, but I'm not sure whether there's an option other than taxi from Paola to SMA. Perhaps your relatives will pick you up at the Paola train station?

Check schedule options from Locarno to Paola on the Deutsche Bahn website, then check fares for the Italian segment (from Chiasso to Paola) on the TrenItalia website. There are still some discounted seats available on the Freccia trains for November 28. They may all be snapped up soon, so it would be good to firm up your plans for that long trip ASAP, else your cost could go up quite a bit. But be very sure about the timing, because those promotional fares are not changeable or refunable.

It appears that flying south would not save enough time to be worth the hassle, because you'd have to deal with substantial ground-transportation segments on both ends of the trip.

Are you by chance flying back from Rome, or must you get all the way back to Zurich for your flight home? It sounds as if you'll be in SMA till about December 1. What day, and from what airport will you be flying back home?

You probably have around 12 days left after your family visits. If by some (fortunate) chance your return flight is from Rome, I'd suggest spending the time in the Amalfi area (understanding that it may be very quiet in early December), Rome and Florence/Tuscany. I wouldn't try to go all the way north to Venice and then return to Rome, though I guess you could make it work by flying (see skyscanner.com; you might still be able to get a decent fare). I'd skip Lake Como in any case because of weather concerns at a lake destination, and because you will probably have had some nice lake time with your Swiss relatives in the Ticino.

Note that just to get from SMA to the Amalfi Coast will take 4 to 5 hours.

If your return flight is from Zurich or Milan, you could include Venice. I think early December isn't a great time for Venice, but it is a special city... Hitting all of the Amalfi Coast, Rome, Florence (if you want to see the city itself), Tuscany, and Venice in 11 days--since you must be back near your departure airport the night before your return flight--is pretty aggressive but not impossible. I don't think getting to France or Germany is practical on this trip.

From what I can gather, you are staying your first week in Ticino, Switzerland. Then making a 1200 KM trek to southern Italy not sure if are planning on your other stops on this southern journey or need to be in San Marco Argentano on a certain date?

Either way add 3 more nights with family in San Marco Argentano and that only leaves you with a week and a half to see everything you want on your own. Need to immediately cross off France and Germany and get realistic about making priorities on what you want to see the most in Italy with your actual available time.
If you made all of your Italian stops along your way and then flew out of a southern Italy airport home at the end it would be best use of your time. Not sure if Naples would be the best option or if there is a closer airport but as acraven lists it would make sense in your available time to see Tuscany, Rome, Amalfi Coast all in that order before getting to San Marco Argentano and then fly home. Hopefully your time with family in Switzerland they will take you to lakes and mountains so Como is not needed and Venice is just better saving for another time given your schedule or maybe your family while in Switzerland can arrange a day trip on a train to see it during that time period.