How to deal with strangers who importune you in Italy in public places

a simple no usually does the job

A firm no.

Never accept 'help' from strangers that involves money. If you need someone to snap your photo, or give you directions you are unlikely to select a thief and you should have decent judgment to decide if a friendly tourist who offers to trade snaps is what s/he appears to be. (I have been handing my camera to strangers for over 50 years without difficulty and have taken dozens of snaps for others. A happy memory is my solo climb of the Duomo in Florence with a solo traveling young Japanese student who wanted to be photographed about every 15 feet and was just so thrilled to have someone willing to help him memorialize his trip.

But 'help buying tickets' is short for 'let me steal your money'.

When someone asked me 'do you speak English' I snarl 'nein' and keep walking. (except in the rare instant it is an actual fellow tourist looking for direction and again in my 50 years of international travel I have only guessed wrong on that one one time -- recently in Paris. This was a middle aged rather dumpy woman dragging a metal rollerboard near a metro stop in the 14th who really did look like a lost tourist. When I offered to help when she asked me if I spoke English, she wanted 20 Euro to be able to afford a hotel. i.e. a scammer.)

If someone approaches you to 'help' help with the ticket machine, help carry your luggage, share their incredible fortune at finding a gold ring, ignore them and if they get pushy say no and keep walking or turn away. Be sure you are pickpocket proof but that is true whenever you are out.

If you are using an ATM alone, use one inside a bank vestibule or post office. If with someone have them stand with their back to you so any group of child thieves or other users can be deflected. It doesn't happen often, but it does happen and the people who run these grifts know how to distract you and manipulate the machine and grab the money.

The thing that is suspicious is the volunteering to help. Asking for help is fine and many people will help you with directions. Be sure to use a polite greeting if you do this. Train stations are well signed and you should be able to find your way around without someone accompanying you.

If you need someone to snap your photo, or give you directions you are unlikely to select a thief.

I have a really bad sense of direction so even in familiar places that I have often visited in the past (such as San Francisco), I still get lost, so I find it better to ask someone who appears to know, or might know, rather than trust my feeble intutions.

So, are you saying that it is better for a foreigner to ask a local for directions than for him/her to accept unsolicited help?

I do get overwhelmed in large, unfamiliar places (I must have at least mild agoraphobia). But I'm traveling alone and have to meet up with the RS group in Varenna, which means: Milan Linnate airport - Milan grand central train station - Varenna - hotel, all on my own, which I certainly can do, but I'd like to avoid confusion and mistakes as much as possible.

It's actually four hours from the time one gets off the plane until one reaches the destination (hotel in Varenna), according to RS. With that much time spent in transit--in the airport, on the transatlantic flight, especially, I think I am going to be itching to find solid ground again.

There is no flat answer - other than - it depends. You need to have a sixth sense about the situation and if it is appropriate for assistance. You are always safe with a stern NO but you could also come across as rude tourist. We have had situations when offers of help were needed and accepted with no dire consequences. For example - once in Rome at a very out of the way metro station we needed to buy ticket back to Termini. Only one very well used ticket machine was available. So well used that all of the wordings on the various buttons were completely worn away. No way for us to tell which button to push. We are standing there looking lost I am sure when a young lady comes up to buy a ticket herself and says something in Italian that included Termini. We kind of nodded, she stepped forward and started punching keys, a sign flashed for three or four Euro, handed her the money, and out came two tickets. Another time, in Athens at a bunch of ticket machines for the metro will some lines at each machine. It was obvious that a lot of tourist were slowing down the lines as they fumbled with the ticket machines. (It was in the port area, frequented by a lot of cruse ships.) At the head of our line was a kid - maybe 12, 13, standing next to the machine and trying to help. One person actually slapped his hand when he tried to point to the key that the person should be pushing. Another person ahead of me moved to another line. I knew exactly what the fare should be and had the exact change. When it was my turn I handed him the money, he punched a couple keys so quickly I couldn't follow, inserted the money, out came the ticket and his palm went up. I had a .50 euro coin that I tipped him and we both smiled at each other. I have had a number of similar situations over the years that were fine. BUT also have had situations when it didn't look right or the timing of the approach was bad, so a stern NO or Nein carried the day.

At the end of the day, you need to judge the situation. The advice to avoid all assistance, IMO, is as bad as the advice to not wearing white tennis shoes. Not everyone is out to steal money from you.

I read on this forum before that "Basta!" means "Enough!" and is what to say. (I would guess after you have said no).

Now I do not speak any Italian so can't say for sure! And we just said firmly "No!" to the gyspy on the train who tried to grab my kids' bag, and it worked fine.

I do now enjoy saying "Basta!" to my kids!! None of us know what if it even means that, but I do like it!

Kim

"Basta" is a good one, yes.....it can mean "stop"

Richard, is being a touch harsh but really you don't have much to worry about. But it can be stressful if you think the next person is out to get you. You are not entering a lawless third world country.

We have traveled extensively in Europe over the past nearly twenty years. Once determined we have spent nearly a year in Europe. We have done some really stupid things, especially the first few trips, but nothing bad happen- came close. Haven't lost a dime or been pickpocketed. Haven't really seen a pickpocket in action but a couple times maybe something was happening. Probably have been shortchanged once or twice but never since the Euro was introduced. Had some interesting meals when we didn't understand the menu or the waiter but never starved. Never had any food or water problems. Have spent a lot time wondering around lost but always made it back to the hotel in one piece. Do carry a pocket compass. Critical at night. Have had several marginal taxi experiences but it is just part of the culture. And one bad hotel in Athens. But we take reasonable precautions. Even wear the money belt in the shower. Cannot be too careful. We try to blend in. (And there is a difference between blending in and standing out.) Don't wear white tennis shoes. Headed to London in May and Turkey in September. Maybe this time we will be pickpocketed. As my wife always says, "We have never had a bad trip." But there is always the next one.

I would use "No, Grazie" the first time; if they persist a firm "No" and "Arrivaderci!" with a smile. No need to be rude, unless they get aggressive, which isn't too likely. A firm "Basta" is good, and as a last resort yell "Policia!" and they would certainly leave you alone.

We once had a young man greet us as we got off the train from the airport in Rome. He seemed nice, and offered to take us to our connection for a few Euros. He had a cart, and we told him no we could walk. He asked to see our tickets, which we showed him, and he quickly convinced us that if we didn't let him put our luggage on our cart, and follow him, we would miss our train to Florence. It's a good thing we believed him. We ran a quarter mile through the station and would have missed our train without his help!

Jan

Denny, aren't you going with an R.S. tour?

There's no one answer to this: it all depends on the situation.
If you do not need or want help, always start with a polite, "No, grazie." Keep walking. If they're persistent, issue a stronger "No". If they're still tailing you, put on your New York Face, give them a VERY strong "NO!" and keep walking. It has always worked for us when we've had to shake some especially pesky panhandlers.

You can also duck into a shop, a hotel, or hang out near a handy group of poliziotti or Carabinieri who may be nearby, if you are really nervous. It's better to just appear calm, confident and unintimidated, though.

But there may BE that situation where you need help, and the person at hand who genuinely wants to help you so start with polite. It may very well be another traveler just like you but from Germany, France or Canada. You'll be able to recognize the common ethnic group of panhandlers so it's pretty easy to just steer clear. They've never given us much trouble in Italy but were more persistent in Paris.

Frank, please tell me that you do not really wear your money belt in the SHOWER? Please tell me you don't?!!!

I'm wondering about whether to accept the help of a local who wants to help me:
Buy a bus ticket: no help needed. They are sold at Tobacconist's shops displaying the city transit logo.
Buy a train ticket: no help needed. Automatic kiosks have multi language prompts, and English is one of the options. If you buy at the ticket window, the agent will help you since you don't need to do anything.j
Find the right platform: The 'binario' (track) number is displayed on signs overhead. If you can read numbers, you can find your platform. Confirm the track number on the departures electronic table as sometimes track changes occur (like gate changes occur at airports).
If you arrive at Milano Linate, take a taxi to the Milan Centrale station. There is no train at Linate. It's a short 5 mile taxi ride.

Always be suspicious of those who offer unsolicited help, especially if it involves handing your valuables (like cameras or money) to them.

If they follow you in a threatening way turn around and say in a loud voice the sentence in the paragraph below.

If the importuning individual(s) is a gypsy kid, then being very firm may not be enough, therefore you need to adopt the Italian reaction, which usually involves seriously threatening to cause bodily injury. That is the only thing that works with them and if there are some young Italians nearby they will intervene and actually hit those kids and scare them away for you, often just for the fun of it. Italians hate gypsies.

is there a phrase in Italian that one can use to tell them "to scram," or "go away."
Levati dalle palle, stronzo, o ti faccio un culo cosi'!

While you say so, it's important that you make a specific gesture with your hands. With your hands closed in a fist in front of you, pull out your thumb and index finger from both hands as if you want to show the size of a large soccer ball. Refer to the video clip below and closely observe what Tony Soprano does to the FBI agent.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F0WK3D7ZNSQ

Since I look a lot like Tony Soprano (including in size), it really works for me.

I defer to Google Translate to define the meaning in English o the above phrase.

Laissez-moi tranquille would be very comprehensible to Italians, but since gypsies barely speak Italian (they come mostly from the Balkans), it wouldn't help.

Some good advice here, although I think the poster who suggested psychotherapy was harsh. I have read some of the warnings about Milan Central station and I would also be concerned. But better to be aware of potential problems in order to avoid them.
As a sola female traveler I am not afraid to appear rude in this situation. Not making eye contact and saying no and then moving on quickly works for me. I think that body language is also important. I always carry myself in a confident way and try to appear as if I know exactly what I am doing, even if that is far from the truth!
I also try to get some visual information especially about large stations like Milan.
For example this ytube video is a resource for this station.
https://m.youtube.com/watch?feature=youtu.be&v=rgvcgMp41gI
The site for Milan station has maps and lots of useful information to study. http://www.milanocentrale.it/en/map/

Roberto, you kill me.

"Basta" means "enough".

Kids or adults holding a sign in front of them will use it to distract you so they can reach into your pocket(s).

In addition to "no" or "Basta", a firm "Via" might help, or my favorite, "lascia perdere" (let it go, but not as in Frozen).

While it is good to be aware of potential scams and pickpockets, there is a fine line between being rude and closing yourself off to other people. I've had "help" at Italian train stations to buy tickets from machines. Could I have figured it all out easily enough by myself? Yes. But for a euro or two, I got a ticket quickly and without any danger of them running off with all my valuables. Regualr people will try and help you if you seem lost or confused, and most of the time they are just trying to be helpful.

Times to be rudely impolite with your "NO!" is if anyone sticks a paper in your face or in front of you to "look at." Swat it away as you say "NO!" If you are swarmed by kids. Frankly a flip of the arm might be needed then. If someone grabs your bag or anything belonging to you when you don't need or want them to.

It is very rare to be physically accosted or "followed." A stiff no and/or wave of the arm is all that is needed.

Denny,

This information does not pertain to your question necessarily but I thought it would help ease your anxiety a bit.

You already know that you can take a bus or taxi from Linate Airport to Milano Centrale. ( Milan's Central station)

1. Check this website to see a photo of what the electronic departure/
   arrival board looks like in Milano Centrale (MC): http://winenchocolate.com/mastering-italian-train-travel/

2. scroll down to see the departures( Partenze) with clock on the left.

3. Read the 9th entry from the top as 'Tirano' this is the final
   destination of the train you will be taking from MC to get to
   Varenna.

4. Picture is a bit blurry but you get the idea.

5. The train # is to the left of 'Tirano' (train#2554).

6. To the right of the city name (destination) you see that this train
   will depart @ 08:20.

7. To the right of the departure time, you see another time & the name
   ' 10:01 Sondrio'-- this is the time the train will arrive in
   Sondrio. (travel time to Varenna is about 1Hr. 3 minutes as Varenna is SW of Sondrio)

8. Notice that the track # would be to the right of 'Sondrio' but it
   has not been posted because the train has not arrived yet ( the
   clock reads 7:45). Trains may arrive 15-30 minutes prior to departure so the track # will post then.

Trains departing from MC to Tirano depart 20 minutes past every hour with few exceptions: https://cart.italiarail.com/tickets/TrainSchedules.aspx?Aff=S61&pd_id=4479

If you miss one train, you can take the next one 1 hour later except there is no train at 15:20 nor at 18:20.

Trains departing from Milano Centrale heading to Tirano use track #s 5-10: http://www.milanocentrale.it/en/map/

Have a wonderful trip!

EDIT: Check this website to see a picture of a self-service ticket machine & the ticket validating machine:http://www.italyvacations.com/train-tickets-italy

While it is good to be aware of potential scams and pickpockets, there is a fine line between being rude and closing yourself off to other people. I've had "help" at Italian train stations to buy tickets from machines. Could I have figured it all out easily enough by myself? Yes. But for a euro or two, I got a ticket quickly and without any danger of them running off with all my valuables.

Douglas, I am not sure if you mean by the above, then, that those who help you at trains stations will expect to be "tipped" a euro or two. But surely if one simply is asking for directions from a stranger, they don't expect "to be paid."

I don't feel confident at all in my Italian, virtually non-existent, but maybe a combination of
French and English will help.

Also, in French, "ARRETE CA! Immediatement! Ca suffit, va-t'en!" for the worst cases.

Priscilla,

Thanks for all the detailed information about the train station. I'm still trying to absorb it all in.

I do find that being well prepared and knowing, in large part, what to expect, helps me quite a lot when I get flustered in a new situation such as travel in a foreign country.

As one who has been in therapy, I can attest to the fact that therapy is no magic panacea. There is nothing like openly talking about one's past predicaments and the things that bother or are difficult, and being mentally prepared for worst-case scenarios (but not necessarily expecting fo them to happen) to help bolster confidence and ease.

I don't think it's unreasonable to worry about this, but don't let it mess up your trip. I have let myself become too caught up in that a number of times, but my general wariness has also kept us out of trouble on occasion. I have to admit I am generally wary about people approaching me in public - in Silicon Valley anyone who approaches you on the street tends to be panhandling or getting paid to get you to sign petitions.

I always tell my friends that are new to traveling Europe, "Don't talk to anyone unless they have a Rick Steve's tour book in hand" Ha Ha, because you will see middle age people all over Italy with a Rick Steve's book!

Denny, you could reduce your stress about the train ticket by buying your ticket from Milano Centrale to Varenna ahead of time, online. You can buy a print-at-home ticket here:

http://www.trenord.it/EN/

The stations you want are Milano Centrale and Varenna-Esino. Theonline ticket specifies a time but is good for four hours after the chosen departure time, so if your plane is late your ticket is still good. This way you will not have to worry about "helpers" at the ticket machines.

From Linate to Milano Centrale you take a bus. I read that you can buy the ticket as you board, but ask here to confirm this information. Note that you may need cash to purchase on board. Or perhaps there is ticket booth near the departure point for the bus, and they will take credit cards. Again,mask here to clarify. I am not familiar with Linate but I am sure there are others who are.

Once you get to Varenna it is very unlikely anyone will try to scam you. People in the small towns are generally very helpful. You could ask someone for walking directions to the hotel. Or take a taxi; it will not cost much. If you post the name of the hotel here, people can tell you where it is. If it is Hotel Olivedo or Albergo Milano, both are an easy downhill walk from the train station ( but there will be steps to reach Albergo Milano).

I guess it's because I haven't been out of the U.S. in 25 years, that this is trip has become a bit nervewracking, as I traveled to places in the past 5 years that could be described as either familiar or underwhelming (San Francisco, Portland, Santa Fe...). Being a Rick Steves tour, I am just trying to get everything into one Osprey backpack.

Maybe one reason I worry a lot is that my natural inclination, too, is to be super laid-back, not worry and assume things will go smoothly on their own and fall into place "on their own," and I don't think this is how RS Tours work. And I've actually learned a lot from the preparation that can be used outside of my travels.

The last time I went to Europe, things were much different, much safer, I believe, but the world has changed so much since then, for better or for worse.

We were in Assisi recently. In the small piazza in front of the basilica of Santa Chiara, an old gypsy lady kept bugging us for money. When I told her for the third time to get lost, she stormed off, muttering loudly in Italian, "Cattivo francese" (loosely, "damn Frenchman").

(Look, I'll own up to the "cattivo" part. But if she calls me a Frenchman one more time, I'll be sore.)

Later that day, we met up with a group of tourists in another part of town. They told us they too had been cussed out by an old gypsy lady up at Santa Chiara. They didn't understand what she said, but they knew it wasn't nice.

Hey Denny, nice to communicate with you again! It is almost April, which I expect will be one of the most exciting and best months of your life, really. I think one thing has to be said here, to give you solace: Milano is an international city, the second largest city and the commercial center of Italy. This is the year of the World Expo in Milano. Milano hosts people from all over the world everyday. Many, many people at Linate Airport and Milano Centrale train station speak English, they have to in order to cater to all these international guests. If you are confused about anything, just seek out someone who works there, maybe an information desk staff, maybe a policeman or train/airport staff, maybe just a cashier or clerk in a shop or snack bar. You don't have to choose between speaking non-existent Italian or passable French, just say this phrase: "Excuse me, do you speak English?" I'm confident most will speak enough to say "yes, how can I help you?" If not, the person next to them, or the next person you ask, will. People are very helpful when we treat them politely, and you likely won't have any question that they don't get every day. "Where is a toilet, please?", "Where is the train for Varenna, please" and so on. You'll do fine, and I will be looking forward to your post-trip reports, I'm sure we all will. By the way, after decades of traveling in many parts of the world, my last two trips in Italy, I woke up one day, slapped my forehead, and exclaimed: "Oh my gosh, I've never been to England!!" So I will be traveling there for the first time this May/June. I'm hoping I can communicate in my Anerican English over there.

Denny, you could reduce your stress about the train ticket by buying your ticket from Milano Centrale to Varenna ahead of time, online. You can buy a print-at-home ticket here:
http://www.trenord.it/EN/

The stations you want are Milano Centrale and Varenna-Esino. The online ticket specifies a time but is good for four hours after the chosen departure time, so if your plane is late your ticket is still good. This way you will not have to worry about "helpers" at the ticket machines.

Thanks, Lola. I may do this, though my printer's not working at the moment (one of those Epson printers with tiny cartridges that dry up if you don't use them every month and will not print unless all the other cartridges are filled).

It's funny how that each time I go to San Francisco and use BART to get from the airport to the City, I kind of space out in front of the machines. But all the people in front and back of you make you buy your ticket pretty quickly. (When I first used them, I thought one didn't have to buy a ticket in denominations of $20...).

By the way, after decades of traveling in many parts of the world, my last two trips in Italy, I woke up one day, slapped my forehead, and exclaimed: "Oh my gosh, I've never been to England!!" So I will be traveling there for the first time this May/June. I'm hoping I can communicate in my Anerican English over there.

Good to hear from you Larry as you help me "inaugurate" my first Atlantic crossing in almost 40 years! London/England is a place I would like to visit again soon. I feel a kinship to England based on all the children's fairy tales (C.S. Lewis, Lewis Carroll...) and then novels I read growing up. The English were wonderfully civil, and I hope they still are, despite all the changes. And to be able to take the "train" underground to Paris (they had "Hovercrafts" when I visited)...

Just don't over-enonciate those American dipthongs when you go over there, and you'll be fine, I assure you.

Denny,

You've received lots of good advice so far, and hopefully that has put your mind at ease to some extent. A few thoughts......

• ATM's - you likely won't need any help as the operation is fairly straight forward and operate much the same as the ones here. Be sure to check with your Bank prior to travel to find out which is your primary account and the one that is accessed by ATM's (called Bancomat in Italy). Make sure your travel funds are in that account.
• Train tickets - these are likely the only tickets you'll be buying, as once you join the tour everything will be taken care of. Using a Kiosk is the easiest method, as the ticket office at Milano Centrale usually has a long queue (it's on the bottom floor of the station, at street level - there are Kiosks there as well).
• Helpful individuals - I tend to use a "progressive refusal", beginning with a polite "No, Grazie" and becoming more stern. Like Roberto I'm somewhat larger and don't usually have too much trouble. I've found that most of the "helpers" will respect a "No", but a few can be very persistent. I encountered a group of teenage Roma girls in the Metro at Milano Centrale last year, and they would NOT take "No" for an answer. They were using "swarming" techniques with several of them moving around me at once. After sparring with them for a minute or two, I finally just went to a nearby ticket office and bought a day pass, which solved the problem for the rest of the day. As I was completing my ticket purchase a group of Police moved into roust the scammers. If you find one that's really persistent, you may have to resort to THE LOOK.
• Trains - as the others have mentioned, the train you'll be using may be listed as going to Tirano or Sondrio. It will be a Regionale so DON'T forget to validate your ticket prior to boarding!

When you arrive at Linate, get some money, take a Taxi to Milano Centrale, buy your ticket to Varenna and then it will just be a matter of waiting for the train (be sure to watch your luggage). If you're hungry and want something "familiar", there's a McDonald's at mezzanine level in the station and a Burger King at track level, or you can try a Panini and Espresso from one of the small shops in the station and really get into the spirit of being in Italy.

I've been looking up how to say that you don't need help, and have gotten 'Non ho bisogno di aiuto' and 'Non mi serve di aiuto'. Any of you Italian speakers care to weigh in on which works better in the train station scenario Denny is talking about?

Hi Larry! Excellent advice you've given Denny ;-)

So Denny, I do hope you will keep a travel journal & share your trip with us upon your return!

I think you've received great advice these past few months & sometimes you just have to trust that it will all work out...

Remember when you were in school/college & you spent hours/days preparing/studying for a test or presentation & finally the night before, you have to decide which option to take;

1. you can stay up all night cramming more information into your already crammed brain or
2. trust that you've done your best, go to bed & get a good night's sleep...

So... I know you've spent weeks/months preparing for this trip, now just get all your stuff in your suitcase & get ready for an amazing trip!

Rather than trying to remember "I don't need any help," you could always memorize "Sto bene," which means "I'm fine" and accomplishes the same thing.

Or how about memorizing a stern: "No, good-bye!"

The last time I went to Europe, things were much different, much safer, I believe, but the world has changed so much since then,
I am not sure I would support that statement other than the world has changed. We have traveled regularly to Europe for more than twenty years. Maybe we have gotten lazy and comfortable with Europe but we don't detect any change in the safety level of Europe over the years. Our perception is that it is just as safe today as it was in 72 on our first trip.

I do think you need to relax some and perhaps stop reading so much negative information. When someone posts, " I have read that xxxxx is bad, etc." Ignore them. They are just passing along hearsay information that may or may not be accurate depending on how good their memory is or the context of the statement. Rely on those who are posting from experience - Been there. Done that!!! Remember you are not going sole. You are with a tour. That is a big difference.

I'd suggest "no thanks". If someone approaches you again, just say "no thanks" with that " do it again and I'll smash your face in" attitude. It generally works! :-)

Denny,

Varenna is a lovely village and a great place to relax & get over any effects of jet lag.

My mom & I were there this past October & despite the fact that she didn't like going up & down the many stairs,
she loved the magnificent scenery of the lake (with the Swiss Alps in the background) & the charming villages we visited.

Make sure to sit on the left side of the train when you leave Milan for best views of the lake.

Once you arrive to Varenna, there will be taxis lined up outside the tiny station, & if you choose to take one, there's a flat rate of €10 to your hotel. Depending on which hotel you will be staying in, the taxi may drop you off at the top of a narrow road which leads to some of the hotels. We stayed at Albergo Milano.

Once you've checked in, go down the stairs to the lake and take a stroll on the passerella--it's a romantic promenade built along the shoreline. If it's a sunny day, you can take amazing photos of the lake. This promenade will lead you to the ferry dock.
If you are up to it, you can board a ferry & just cruise the mid-lake & take more photos!

I found this website with nice photos of Varenna: http://tanagerphotography.com/2013/02/05/varenna-on-lake-como-the-little-village-we-love/

Denny, I almost forgot! There are a couple of gelaterias along the promenade so make sure you treat yourself to a creamy, delicious gelato!

This is the one we tried & it was the best in Varenna:http://www.tripadvisor.at/LocationPhotoDirectLink-g187837-d4553716-i99419134-Gelateria_Riva_di_Riva_Duilio-Varenna_Lake_Como_Lombardy.html

Enjoy your trip!

I remember those two gelaterias in Varenna, Priscilla. I always think the best, and really only fair, way to behave when there are multiple gelaterias in a town, is to try each and compare. If you only try one, you might be considered one of those "rude gringos"! And trying scoops of two different flavors is generally the best choice. And then, if another tourist wants to eat off your gelato, just say "No, sto bene".

I found the homeless panhandlers in Seattle and San Francisco much more aggressive and intimidating than any in New York City. If you can handle Pioneer Square, you can handle Europe! I really mean that (at least, in 1989, Pioneer Square was quite an intimidating scene - I have no idea what it's like now).

The key is that anyone who genuinely wants to be helpful will take a simple "no" for an answer and walk away. If they don't, then THEY are being rude, and you need not worry about what you say to get rid of them (or what they say back to you - some will try to make you feel guilty or curse back at you). But even then, remember a genuinely helpful person will never curse at you or pull a guilt trip.

Also remember that in airports and train station, there will be official sources of help - don't be afraid to ask them for information, and to keep asking as you make your way from airport to train station to Varenna.

I agree that in your situation, a taxi from Linate to Centrale is money well spent. (And it's Milano Centrale - no "grand" in the name, although it is grand indeed).

Don't bother learning long sentences in Italian about 'not needing help' or whatever -- odds are fair that the people offering to 'help' don't even speak Italian. The influx of grifters and thieves from cultures where this is the way they earn a living has filled tourist centers across Europe with these people. Ignore and walk away and never accept unsolicited 'help' and that goes double for anything involving a money transaction.

And Europe is not 'dangerous' -- it is almost unheard of for the perfectly routine assaults, shootings and muggings that occur every day in every US city to happen in Rome or Florence or Paris. You will get your wallet lifted if you are a goober who hasn't done his homework; if you leave your cellphone on the table of a cafe you might get it grabbed -- but there is almost no chance you will be robbed at gunpoint, assaulted or injured. It is ludicrous for Americans who live in the most violent and dangerous country in the developed world to be panicking about European travel.

Janettravels, you have summed up my feelings perfectly. Perhaps it is that I was raised by a native Italian and have been going to Italy 1-2 times a year for many years, but I find people to be overly nervous about their travels to Italy. However, I know people fear the unknown. Fortunately, I (we) have never been pickpocketed, but I have been approached by someone wanting to help at a train station and even someone wanting to collect money from me for parking on a public street. A firm "NO" and walking quickly away gets your point across. There is absolutely no need to try to strike up a conversation and give a detailed explanation and to why you will not engage. No and walking away is universal.

Yes, my day to day life in the states is more dangerous. There may be a risk of being pickpocketed, but not general violence as you see in the states.

Regarding train stations in Italy: I have not been to Milan in many years. But last summer, the train stations in Rome, Florence, and Naples all had many UNIFORMED people stationed by the ticket machines. Even with a language barrier, they can help point you in the right direction if you show them a ticket or say the name of the city you need to go to. I imagine Milan is similar.

Train platforms are well marked. In the main part of the train station, there will be a giant board that lists train departures/arrivals and platform numbers. This will be obvious because you will notice a big group of people looking up, looking for their platform number.

If someone offers you help and you don't know if you can trust them, say no and walk away. I think the chances of someone hounding you when you ignore them are pretty slim. If you need help and are looking for someone trustworthy, the big airports and train stations in Italy have information booths and English is commonly spoken. Or I look for other tourists speaking English, preferably a family.

Worst case scenario? You have a little difficulty navigating the system and you miss your train. There will be many trains that follow while you find someone that can help.

The influx of grifters and thieves from cultures where this is the way they earn a living has filled tourist centers across Europe with these people. Ignore and walk away and never accept unsolicited 'help.'

I agree with the above and wonder if it has been an uncontrolled problem for Europe. Which makes me feel very dubious about Europe's ability to absorb new immigrants. (I don't want to appear stridently anti-immigration). But in 1974, the last year I was in Europe, there weren't many vagants in the major cities of Europe that I visited as a college student...and I did not fear being pocketpocked and never was.

Please let's not turn this into a debate on immigration. Nearly all immigrants are looking for an honest and better way of life. And every modern culture that I know of has some small percentage of people who steal or engage in other criminal activity.

Denny, I think you're overthinking this. A simple "no, grazie" said politely will get rid of well-meaning people, and opportunistic types. For more persistent people, a series of increasingly firm "nos" will work fine. Perhaps followed by arrivederci. You don't need to get into a conversation, all you need is for them to understand you want them to leave. NO is easily understood. I've been approached by shady characters, but never followed. In my experience, they go away when they realize you're not falling for it. Don't be afraid to say NO loudly (if the more polite no is ignored). Polizia would be fine if they keep bugging you, which won't happen. In Spain, I've used "I SAID NO" (me dijo que no), find that in Italian if you want.

I have never had a problem and you probably won't either. In Paris, I had a thief with her hand in my purse crowding in close to me and I just yelled loudly and she went away. Most of these people thrive on you not knowing they are there, so calling attention to them is the last thing they want.

In short: polite no, then firm no, then loud no, then louder no, then NO, POLIZIA if it gets to that point.

LOL VS. You mean the Santa Clara Valley where the median home price in Palo Alto is 2 million. Totally shocking to hear your upscale hood now has panhandlers. Tsk Tsk. BTW if you go to the Stanford Theatre say hi to David Packard for me. Remind him I was right about Lost Horizon. Oh and GO BEARS!!!!

A simple "no, grazie" said politely will get rid of well-meaning people, and opportunistic types. For more persistent people, a series of increasingly firm "nos" will work fine. Perhaps followed by arrivederci. You don't need to get into a conversation, all you need is for them to understand you want them to leave. NO is easily understood.

I got it. I'll go for the very simple but firm "NO" and "Grazie" and "Arriverderci (sp?)."

Yes let's ignore the fact that much of the well organized petty crime in European tourist centers is part of a thieving culture abetted by EU lowering of borders. This is not a few people down on their luck who take to thievery. This is well organized crime where children are trained as thieves and punished if their take is low and adults graduate to more complex crimes. One of the reasons they are so effective at say pick pocketing is that they are well trained -- this is organized crime.

I'm not sure what the focus on the country of origin of certain thieves accomplishes for the average tourist. You need to be just as ready for the pickpocket wearing a business suit as for the gangs of kids with their pieces of cardboard. It doesn't make much difference to speculate about where they might have born.

Dear Denny: please don't say "arrividerci" to someone "importuning" you. If someone is being a pest and possibly trying to pick your pocket, why would you want to be so polite? It means something like " come back soon" or "hope to see you soon".

Thanks, Norma. I don't speak Italian, just know the phrases from the phrase book. I was under the impression arrividerci meant the basic goodbye. Is there a word for goodbye in the sense of "we are done here"?

Eastern European gypsy kids who are actually trained and forced by their awful parents to go out and steal are not the only pick pockets, they are just the most aggressive ones.
There are also plenty of pickpockets from other places, including some Italians (fewer and fewer though).
However most pickpockets other than gypsies will operate only on crowded buses and will not be conspicuous at all.
Gypsy kids will simply swarm you like bees on honey even on the streets and are very aggressive. They are the ones you need to keep them at a safe distance and don't be afraid to be very menacing and nasty to them, they need to be clear that you are not kidding.
In any case don't be too paranoid about it. Lots of tourists visit Italy without ever encountering any gypsies.

New Yorker here :)

I am always suspicious of anyone offering me help. That said, I sometimes offer help to a tourist who looks like they need it. THAT being said, if they say no thank you, I go away! Anyone following you or badgering you should be dealt with the same way no matter what part of the world you are in -- Try in this order: Ignore them; get away from them (run if necessary); and don't be afraid to hail an officer of the law.

I doubt anyone will follow or badger you in 99% of cases however.

On a side note, beware of various tourist scams like the "you broke my glasses and owe me xx$$". Be prepared to get away from them quickly, and run if they are aggressive. I have seen this happen to tourists in NYC and the assailants are usually druggies trying to get a fix, so they'll stop at nothing.

Hope i didn't scare you!

Re/ask for help: I have never been afraid to ask for help - more than once. Many times in a in a train station I will ask several different people the same question. This applies more often if my destination is not the final stop on the train. If I get different answers - as in "does this train go to X" - I'll ask a 3rd person or more. It has served me well in Paris taking the RER to and from the airport. At other times I've trusted strangers to guide me and never been disappointed - several times rescued. I think we usually have an instinct about people. Trains, no!

Barb

Dear Denny: please don't say "arrividerci" to someone "importuning" you. If someone is being a pest and possibly trying to pick your pocket, why would you want to be so polite? It means something like " come back soon" or "hope to see you soon".

Norma, Thanks again for your valuable input! No "arrividerci"! Just "No!" But could I add "grazie" at the end (to not be so brusque or rude)?

However most pickpockets other than gypsies will operate only on crowded buses and will not be conspicuous at all.
Gypsy kids will simply swarm you like bees on honey even on the streets and are very aggressive. They are the ones you need to keep them at a safe distance and don't be afraid to be very menacing and nasty to them, they need to be clear that you are not kidding.

Roberto, thanks for your input. I don't think it is racism--at all--to point out that certain identifiable groups operate in a certain manner. This is to not say, however, they are exclusive, i.e., that all pickpockets are gypsies. Pickpockets come in other sizes...

It sounds very much like that they do "stick out" and it's definitely wise to stay away from them and use firm language ("NO!") with them, if one does encounter this sort of situation.