Eating in Italy

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Currently eating our way thru Italy. We tend to order lite (frequently share an entree or a few appetizers at home). We have had no issues sharing here in Italy. We have been mostly ordering 0-1 starters, and two pastas. Rarely a secondi, sometimes a dessert (also to share). Pizza is the one thing we get surprised reaction that we only want 1. But they are plenty for the two of us and we don't eat it all

Basically you can do what you want and nobody cares. As long as you remember that you are occupying a table for two and that restaurants like to make money with their tables.

If you want to have an all dinner made of starters (or desserts or side dishes), the only problem will be explaining it to the waiter and getting them in the order you like.

You can share dishes. Actually that will give you and your travel partner a chance to taste more dishes. Portions in Italy are not large like in the US (at least by the standards of a large man like I am), so you will probably have room to eat more than just one dish. I generally share one antipasto with my wife, then we order two dishes and often two side dishes, which we also share. The order of eating is:
- Antipasto
- Primo (pasta or soup)
- Secondo (meat or fish generally) with side dish (vegetables). Side dishes do not come automatically with the secondo, as generally everything is ordered a la carte, therefore you need to actually order it.
- Fruit
- Dessert
- Espresso

For drinks, the house wine is generally a great deal (usually served in a caraffe of 1/4, 1/2, or 1 liter). It’s very cheap, way cheaper than a can of Coca Cola.
For water you can order bottled mineral water (naturale or gassata, i.e. still or sparkling). Tap water is not served in Italy, but a bottle of mineral water is cheap, maybe a couple of euros. it is still a huge markup for the restaurant, since a liter of water rarely costs more than 25-50 cents at the grocery store, but since restaurants don’t mark up wine like in the US (where wine is quadrupled at least) ordering water is really not a big budget breaker for a customer. Don’t try to get tap water. It really annoys a lot of restaurant owners. It’s extra work for them and no monetary gain. Some consider it tacky too to try to save 2 euros for water.

Obviously one person who orders all of the above will have a hard time getting up off the chair. Except for special occasions, most Italians do not eat antipasto and dessert. The typical meal at home is a primo, a secondo, and one fruit. Obviously portions will be smaller than in the US, but still enough to split for two people.

If you intend to share dishes, tell the waiter when ordering that you will be sharing with your partner. More often than not they will serve you the two half portions already in two separate dishes.

We returned a week or so ago from a month in Italy - Rome, Cortona and Spello - and had no problem sharing antipastos and a meat course. More than a few times, a meat course wasn't even necessary. And more often than not, we were overwhelmed with the amount of food and decided after a a big lunch that we really didn't want a full scale dinner. We were totally surprised to see on our return that we didn't gain any weight!

Roberto- Thank you. You answered everything I was wondering about. I am sure most nights we will get a primo, a secondo, and another dish each. We can eat! Thanks again

When my husband & I travel together, we usually each order our own pasta dishes, and I will get a salad that we share. The salad normally comes after the dinner. We rarely order a dessert since we like to have a gelato during the day. The pizzas are huge - too much for one person, so when ordering pizza, we order one and a salad. And we split a large bottle of sparkling water.

You don’t need to order everything at once, so if you are still hungry, you can add something to your order. I don’t think we have ever ordered four food items in one meal, especially because we are eating at 7 or 8pm at night.

Portions in Italy are not large like in the US

I couldn't help but think of Woody Allen who said: "Don't eat at that restaurant. The food is terrible and the portions are too small.

Our resident Italian Roberto gave a great answer. One thing we didn't think about is that they tend to eat later in the evening and we normally eat dinner early. We showed up at a nice restaurant in Greve around 6:30. The doors were unlocked but there was no activity. We found someone and asked if they were open. They said yes, but were incredulous that we wanted to eat so early.

If you get a chance, have a long, relaxed lunch or dinner. We did a lunch food and wine tasting at our agriturismo, Castillo di Verrazzana just outside Greve. We had marked off our calendar so we could enjoy the meal as long as it took. We sat down at 12:30 and finished just before 4:00! It was heavenly, but we didn't need to eat again for a few days.

Don’t worry, just relax and in general, eat what the Italians do and don’t try to make it like our North American food. However I didn’t do that once.
I never had any problems with sharing. On our last trip October 2019, we often ordered a salad to share and a main course (no pasta course) a vegetable side dish, shared, and a litre or bottle of house wine, which was enough food. The memorable meals were the last night in a small local pizzeria within walking distance of Naples airport. Best Arancini of the trip, shared a Margherita pizza, bottle of the house red, ordered 2 more arancini and chatting with the owner between courses. Asked about dessert and he offered his mother’s special, (chocolate torrone) not on the chalk board which was great. Ordered 1 more glass of red wine and gave us a free glass to empty the bottle. The food and attitude made it memorable. The other memorable one for the opposite reason, was in Naples on our second night. A pizza place adjacent to our B&B, had a good pizza but for the second night I ordered prawns and pasta. It was the worst meal of prawns that I have ever had and I couldn’t finish it. Asked to speak to the cook but was abruptly told that is the way people in Napoli eat their prawns, uncleaned with the poo chute there but not for me. The sauce couldn’t hide the taste & texture. So we paid and left to eat a pizza somewhere else.
But the rest of the meals on our 3 week Amalfi and Puglia trip were all enjoyable, some better than others.

We are finishing up three weeks of travel in Italy. What we got each meal was really just what we felt like eating - sometimes a shared antipasto and 2 dishes; sometimes just 2 dishes. We only got dessert at a meal once and that was in Venice. I am not a big sweets/dessert person so it's not something I think about. Wine was sometimes by the glass, a 1/2 liter, or bottle.

Also we definitely did 2 antipastos and drinks one evening in Milan which was more than enough because we weren't super hungry after lunch.

Most places are used to tourists, so really, anything goes, they won't kick you out or beat you.

Some points to make though.

As someone else alluded to, the afternoon meal (lunch I suppose, but eaten at 1:00 (13:00)) tends to be a bigger heavier meal traditionally, then lighter in the evening, but again, tourism sees the evening meal as heavy anymore.

When my wife and I eat (she does not eat meat, but will do seafood) we always start with a bottle of water (we prefer sparkling) it is almost expected that you will have a bottle of water, look around, every table will have one, except for the few Americans who practiced "Tap water, Please" in Italian. We do get wine, either by the glass, but usually a bottle, if they have a house wine in a carafe, that is usually a cheap, quality option. You can pass on wine, with only a sidewise glance from the waiter.

We always get a starter, an Antipasti to share. I think some of the tastiest, more unusual things can be found there.

Then, we usually each get our own main, we have shared, but portions tend to be right sized, I like meat, wife not, so she usually gets a pasta, I get whatever sounds good. We have never each ordered both a Primi and a Secondo, though I might myself on occasion. (I have seen rail thin Italian women though order an antipasti, a pasta, and follow it up with a steak, and dessert)

Do not overlook side dishes (Contorno) usually a great plate of fresh seasonal vegetables.

Then we flip a coin on dessert, a walk and a gelato is preferred, but if they have something interesting, then yeah.

Probably the other look you will get is if you decline coffee at the end. I rarely can do caffeine late at night, so I do decline usually, but I save face by ordering an Amaro, a digestif, there are a wide array of liquors to try.

All this will easily take an hour, with practice, two, no hurry.

I will add though, the more upscale the restaurant, the more the expectation you will do the above. a simple Osteria, or even Trattoria, less will not bat an eye.

The only other "rule" to adhere to is that a pizza is a single serving meal...proposing splitting one will raise some eyebrows.

I am a small little old lady. I have never had trouble polishing off a pizza in Italy!

I traveled solo and I eat mostly vegetarian, sometimes a bit of fish. I ordered mostly antipastos, salads and pastas or pizzas, sometimes soup, usually 3 things. Often the waiter asked if I wanted them one at a time. I saw a number of tables where people shared, sometimes getting an extra plate and eating one dish at a time. Sometimes eating two at once and switching plates in the middle. A couple of times, I ordered a bottle of wine when the selection of wines by the glass were meager. I took the bottle back to the hotel, sometimes along with leftovers from the meal, for the next day - especially the cheese platters which were more than enough for 2 people.