Bathrooms

Where were these various places?

Consider carrying a "I can't Wait" card in Italian, presuming you can get one or something similar from a relevant group in the USA.

I also have IBS and fortunately did not have problems in Italy. I just asked “dove il bagno per favore?” If I was in dire straits I added a pleading look. I know about 15 words of Italian but I think people appreciated me trying. I had to translate for an American trying to find a bathroom at the carabinieri, the desk officer spoke minimal English and no they do not have public restrooms.

I tried to keep enough coin for the pay toilets, some were €0.50, others €1 and one was €1.50. I didn’t mind buying a €2 expresso so I could use the potty. My attitude was I was happy to be in their country and if the norm was to pay to pee, so be it.

There's a good section right here on Mr Steves website...

Paid Toilets

Paying to use a public WC is a European custom that irks some Americans. But isn't it really worth a few coins, considering the cost of water, maintenance, and cleanliness? And you're probably in no state to argue, anyway. Coin-operated toilets are the norm at highway rest areas, train stations, and even at some sights. (Many coin-op WCs have self-cleaning toilet seats; stick around after you're done to watch the show.)

Sometimes the toilet itself is free, but an attendant in the corner sells sheets of toilet paper. Most common is the tip dish by the entry — the local equivalent of about 50 cents is plenty. Caution: Many attendants leave only bills and too-big coins in the tray to bewilder the full-bladdered tourist. The keepers of Europe's public toilets have earned a reputation for crabbiness. You'd be crabby, too, if you lived under the street in a room full of public toilets. Humor them, understand them, and carry some change so you can leave them a coin or two.

https://www.ricksteves.com/travel-tips/health/toilet-tricks

Rome is nowhere near as bad as Prague where you have to pay to use the restroom in a McDonald's even if you purchased food

I downloaded the WC Rome and Flush apps - they're not complete but it does show where a lot of the nearest restrooms are nearby your and whether they are pay or not. Wife and I have small/weak bladders and we looooove our caffe (especially in Rome!) and we never paid to use a restroom while we were there

As to how come - different customs, just like you are expected to tip wait staff here in the US

I'd just buy a 50 cents glass of sparkling water and do not drink it.

The rest rooms along the Autostrada motorways are always free and leaving some coins at the entrance is not mandatory. You do it, if you want, WHEN YOU EXIT the toilet, not before entering! Tipping in advance? Seriously?

Like any other gratuity in Italy, you can refrain from tipping and your choice won't be frowned upon. Especially when the place is not spotlessly clean or the toilet paper is missing.

I found that the WCs that cost money were very clean... But I agree, I was caught off-guard when I got to one and need one form or a coin or another -- and didn't have the proper change.

If you had ever used the European public or even restaurant toilets in the '70's, you would be very happy to pay for a functional clean one.

I lost a lot of modesty on that first European trip. No doors on the bathroom and though at the end of a hallway, funny how the men just happened to have to head down that corridor and take a peak (beach restaurant in Mykonos). Worst was the 'Western' plumbing that wasn't functioning. Give me a clean maintained long drop over the floating cess pit from a flusher anyday.
So I happily pay or tip.

Nobody loves a nice, clean, functioning, completely supplied American bathroom more than I do --- when I get home from abroad, it takes me weeks to get over my appreciative surprise every time I enter one.

Yesterday, in the middle of a car trip in the U.S., I ran into a coffee shop and used their lovely bathroom without buying anything or paying anything. I felt sort of bad, sort of guilty, and I wondered why SHOULD they provide me with this wonderful service for free. It makes total sense to pay in Italy, even though we find it inconvenient.

In Italy, we stop frequently at a bar, order a coffee and a spremuta or sparkling water, and ask politely in Italian for a bathroom for me which I use before drinking anything. It works pretty well, most of the time.

Sometimes I take photos. I sort of collect hilarious bathrooms and bathroom experiences, like the one where the lights suddenly went out and I was in complete darkness and I just froze: "What do I do? What do I do?" It turned out that as soon as I UN-froze and moved my arm, the lights came back on --- they were on a motion-detector.

Consider carrying a "I can't Wait" card in Italian, presuming you can
get one or something similar from a relevant group in the USA.

We covered this in one of your previous threads. Did you get the card? Also, pay toilets are not uncommon across Europe (save your change!) and it is generally expected in Italy that you purchase something if wanting to use the bathroom at a cafe or bar.

Many US restaurants and places of business in larger cities of the US will also post signage saying restrooms are for customers only. Its not unique to Italy or Europe in general.

Very true, Stan.

Does no one remember when pay toilets were a thing in the US? Growing up, when we went on our family summer drives it was always a challenge to find a spot that didn't charge. I would have rather paid than faced what a lot of the "free" ones offered, but then I wasn't the one with money back then. :-)

Thankfully, most states outlawed them by the end of the 1970's. Unfortunately, there seems to be a push to allow them again. I don't mean where you have to ask for the key to get in, but where you actually have to pay to use it.

I don't mind paying if what I get to use is clean and well supplied.

"Does no one remember when pay toilets were a thing in the US?"

I do! In the 1970's, it was common.

But it does seem that the US, as a whole, has amnesia for this period of our history.

Many do not have seats. Be sure you have your own TP, just in case, too, If you can find Charmon to Go travel container, they are the best! My daughter who lived there for a few years gave me a tip...that in places that might have multiple toilets like a museum or large restaurant/community center, the stalls at the far end are most likely to have a seat.

Not in the city, there is the great outdoors! Mother's of little ones in Barcelona were using the parking strip trees. No problem in Spain with use of a toilet in a bar with or without purchase. Italy, really only 4 squares of TP!

It is the weirdest thing, but a lot -- more than half perhaps -- of the public toilets in Italy lack a toilet seat. It's true in museums, casual restaurants, and even nicer ones. Don't try to understand it, just be prepared.

...and sometimes they are just a hole - we came across these in both Italy (looking at you, Cinque Terre) and the south of France. If you don't have the best knees/back/balance, it's not great (and if you don't have the best...ah...aim...even worse...hubby went into one in the s of France and came right back out and said someone missed the hole - and not with #1). I'm not one to pass up a free toilet, so when I went into the public toilets located at the Millau Viaduct and saw that they were hole in the floor, I was ready to turn and head out...until I thought...the handicapped stall! Bingo - a toilet, sans seat. (And there was no one else around, so I wasn't worried about taking a minute to use it).

Those of us who have had IBS attacks know this is less about paying and more about finding the toilet and getting to it fast enough without a lot of guesswork. In the U. S., hotel lobbies, stores, McDonalds, gas stations are quick go-tos. I like the suggestion of the “It’s an emergency” type of card.

And even though we technically don’t have to pay in the U.S. if I have to pull over and run into some Mom and Pop station to use their restroom, I’ll buy a pack of gum or a drink or something on the way out.

Italy is not a country designed for the convenience of tourists. It's almost crazy sometimes. I don't mind paying to use the restroom, I just wish there were more available. Also I wish modern urinal technology had reached Italy, they don't see to have these in most gentleman's restrooms. And that people in train station restrooms did not routinely cut in front of those in front of them in line. I think they purposely limit restrooms in Italy so that cafes and such get more business.

Very nice hotels are usually safe spots. Walk around with casual comfort like you've been there all week. And find the bathroom off the lobby. Hasn't failed us yet over 8 Europe trips.