Does anyone have suggestions for where to go if I want to see the cities and my husband(the city and crowd hater) doesn't? I'd really rather leave him home and look at the museums and such but he says he wants to go. I'd like to see Rome and Florence again, too.
What does your husband like? If he likes museums and not crowds, then timing is more important than location. Rome, Florence, etc. all quiet down in Nov - Jan (except right at the peak holidays).
Otherwise, I agree with the previous poster. Spend several days in a place like Rome, then go off to either a small town like Orvieto or an agriturismo off the beaten path. Then to Florence, and then off to some other small town, etc.
I would assume your husband has some reason for wanting to go--food, art, wine, hiking? Figure out how to incorporate his interests. If he hates museums, but enjoys parks, leave him to wander the grounds of the Villa Borghese while you visit the gallery, etc.
Come up with an itinerary that bounces back and forth between larger cities and smaller villages. A good marriage is about compromise, right? :-)