Please sign in to post.

What gift to get?

A bit off course, but concerns Ireland. I have been doing ancestry investigations regarding my family. I traced back to my great-great grandfather, and the land he leased during the famine. I discovered the actual land, then brought it up to modern times. The parcel is the same now as then, and the same buildings exist. Furthermore, the home, a thatched cottage, is still there and has been very well kept. I wrote a letter to "occupant", hoping to get in contact with whoever now owns the land and get permission to visit the ground and stand where my ancestors toiled during the famine. I included all of my information including my email address.

Lo and behold, three weeks later I received a lovely response via email from a woman who wrote on behalf of her father who works the land as a cattle farm. Not only was I invited to go there anytime, I learned that the family that lives there is actually descendants of my great-great grandmother. They are cousins!! My great-great grandfather surrendered the lease to his wife's family when they left for America.

I will be going in September with my wife. I want to bring a gift of some sort, but have no idea what to bring. Can I please get help with something appropriate?

Posted by
1944 posts

Rather than bring a bottle of local alcohol to someone who might not drink, or sweets or cookies to someone who may not even have a sweet tooth, I would do something else; make a story or book or magazine or something like that, that includes all the information you found out about your shared ancestors. You could include a family tree, information about the house they now live in. A personal gift like that will go a long way.

Posted by
1807 posts

That is so fantastic! Photos might be fun. Copies of emigration and immigration documents might be of interest. Any letters or correspondence from Ireland to America they might find interesting?

Ah, I see Dutch Traveler and I think alike.

Posted by
1310 posts

How very special. You must be beyond excited. Do you have photos of family members that you share with your Irish family? If so, they might appreciate a photo album. Taking them out to dinner at a restaurant where you could have a nice, quiet dinner where you could talk would be nice. Please get back to us!

Posted by
1149 posts

How about a little book about the American family with photos of the people and their homes. I was going to say "not their actual homes," but why not? You're visiting them in their home. A picture of each family on their own doorstep would be a nice thematic element. Include a map of the US showing where each family lives. https://www.shutterfly.com/photo-books/

Posted by
2247 posts

I agree with the other people who have posted replies. They will be as curious about family in the U.S. as you are about the property, the history, and them.

I had a similar discovery, though, different. Located a distant cousin for whom I had little information (just a letter she had written years ago to my now deceased mother...who would be a true cousin to her) via the help of a B&B owner in the same county (ahead of our trip). The addresses in much of Ireland are just the names, then the town/county. Turns out their daughter taught his grandchildren at a local Catholic school....so I did ask the right person. Short version: They met and took us around to see where my great grandparents had lived, where my grandmother was raised (ruins of a very modest cottage) with her dozen or so siblings...and I had a photo of that cottage that my mother had given to me decades earlier....never dreaming I would "step into that photo."), the local church that has the family headstones, and on and on. Unfortunately the land on which the cottage ruins stand is no longer in the family...I was told a farmer owns it. The thought crossed my mind about trying to buy it, but then logic set in...not practical...not a wise investment for several reasons, and it was not "for sale."

She mentioned to me that the local church regularly prays for the immigrants (those who left Ireland for America, granted now decades and decades ago). She said "You are the first immigrants to visit us." As much as that word is so easily tossed around (sometimes recently in a negative way in our country) , it underscores that so many of our families came from somewhere else to now make up the fabric of America.............

We shared photos (saved on phone) of where we live, my siblings, etc. I could tell as they politely looked at the photos, it was so different seeing how we lived. She had been to NYC twice to visit relatives/attend a funeral for her brother, but not to other places in the U.S.

One of my favorite photos is of me walking the grounds where my great grandparents "farmed." It put things in perspective when the cousin shared how during the tough times in Ireland, a neighbor might toss a cabbage over the fence (and that is what the large family would have for food that day)........wow. She explained townslands and the such and how dances (decades ago) would be held at certain places (that I took to be intersections of some sort).

We did not "pay a visit" as the Irish say, but she pointed out a nice house where relatives from the other side of the family (great grandfather's side) live today.

I sent a gift and a heart-felt note after returning home. She was focused a lot on just what the postage cost to send it. We have stayed in touch...holiday season and also a couple of more times a year. That visit was approximately 11 years ago.

For the most part, the Irish Iive rather modestly. ...at least in County Roscommon.

No doubt, both you and the family (your extended family) who lives on the land you will visit with enjoy special time together. You are lucky the thatched cottage is still in good repair, too. I am so happy for you, and I know it will be a very, very special visit for you and them.

I am guessing you have already found old Irish census info and the such on your family, too. I could not find birth certificate info on my grandmother, and the cousin confirmed she understood the records had burned in a church fire. Otherwise, I might have dual citizenship now ;o If you are blessed to have old family photos (or other info) for when your Irish ancestors lived on the land, the current family (your cousin) would likely find those of interest, too.

Have fun....special times ahead for you...as you "walk into history" in the present....enjoy every moment.

Posted by
2247 posts

The photo book other posters have suggested is a fabulous idea, that way those you are visiting will have it as a memory, and also something to share with their families/friends about "those Americans" who came to visit. Also agree about any copies of immigration records and the such, especially of "those who used to farm their land."

Please post when your return, so we can all share the joy of your special experience.

Posted by
3320 posts

Wow, that is so cool! I wish I had found such a connection when I visited the area of my German roots. I did find a big cemetery full of my similarly named expired relatives, but live ones would have been more interesting :)

As has been noted, a photo album would be lovely but I also agree with including a family tree with you and them on it so they can refer to it later. It could be a bit hard to remember a connection to a g-g-grandfather, but they'd have something to show their friends when talking about their cool American cousins' visit. Also take many photos of the currently living (and the buildings/land/cemeteries) and perhaps send those as a follow up gift later. If you happen to have old photos you could do side-by-sides with old and new. Oh and take a notepad to jot down stories and references you might not be able to find easily in the genealogy records - family lore is often lost to the winds.

Posted by
3281 posts

Wonderful news that will make your trip something of a homecoming!
I think photos of your common relatives will be warmly received, considering the occasion.

Posted by
315 posts

What lovely stories! And great gift ideas. Oh, this reminds me of my own Irish great grandparents' story. Their son, my grandfather immigrated to the US. His son, my father, along with my mother, connected with some of his first cousins in Ireland as adults. They visited back and forth. My husband and I had the opportunity to visit with these cousins years later. They took us on a drive to see the thatched cottage in Donegal where my great grandparents raised 17 children. Apparently, they were peat farmers. We were not able to go onto the property. I wish I had paid more attention so that I could find it again (I was 22 at the time) because now all my known family in Ireland are gone.

Posted by
419 posts

Mumbling…what an amazing opportunity! My story is similar…did our DNA with ancestry and received a message from a fourth cousin. My husband and I visited Northern Ireland last year, met my cousin and her husband…drove to where the family farm was (they lost it)…visited the tiny church where the great great greats were married, and more cousins showed up! Don’t be surprised if many folks are looking forward to meet and hug you! I agree…a nice lunch or dinner where you can chat, share photos (take any old family photos you may have….we also left copies with my cousins), and soak up the warmth. With the help of yet another cousin, I was able to pinpoint where the house stood and wander a bit. It meant the world to me. I might suggest one more thing…if you can find the church where your ancestors were married, you might send a message to the pastor or priest ahead of time. The minister of the Presbyterian church in County Tyrone was able to show me the original marriage records. We attended a Sunday service and left a donation in our family’s name. Again..more cousins!
I returned in March and can’t wait to visit again. I’m excited for you!

Posted by
502 posts

I love the photos and book ideas. Regarding the book: I am closer to 100 than I am to 50. I have five children , five grandchildren and two great-grandchildren. My parents never spoke of ancestors. I had aunts and uncles I never heard of. We visited a few aunts and uncles, but no talk of ancestors.

I did not want that for my kids. Five years ago for Christmas, my oldest daughter gave me a gift of a book. Each week I would receive a question and would answer it and send it in to the book company. This went on for a year. I had 52 "Chapters". I worked on that and massaged the chapters for another year and a half. When I was done, it contained all of the information I had regarding my parents and grandparents (whom all died before I was born). Many of the questions, actually the majority were about me and my life. The book ended up 442 pages with many pictures.

I had a hard copy of the book printed and I looked at it and gently massaged it for another year. Finally I was done and had five hard copy of the books printed. I received the box of books which I did not open. I gave the box to my wife, who is younger than I, with a request she give each of the kids a copy after I am gone. They do not know of the books.

I have the original copy. Might that plus additional photos be appropriate?

Posted by
1149 posts

I would take the "ancestor" info and photos from your book and add that to a new, smaller photo book that includes sections about you and your wife and each of your children with their spouse/children, including information and photos about where they live and what they like to do, etc., whatever they're comfortable with. I would do one paragraph and a handful of photos about each person/couple:
"I am a retired whatever, and I live in wherever with my wife, 'the warden,' and our pets, Doggie and Kitty. We love to do things and go places. Our favorite thing about living in wherever is whatever."
For the grandchildren, you might include their year of birth or "age 6 in July 2025."
I really like my earlier suggestion of taking each family's photo on their doorstep. This may be because I have a photo of myself and one of my Irish cousins on my family doorstep when she visited us at age 21 (I was about 5), on her family doorstep when I visited her at age 25, and on the doorstep of my AirBnB when I visited again at age 51.

Posted by
2247 posts

I agree with the post just above this post.....yes, do a "current-day" book of you and your family with photos of them (if each is comfortable with that).

Posted by
1149 posts

To be fair, my suggestion was to include similar information about the "ancestors"-name, photo, occupation, where they lived. A family tree is a nice addition, as well.

Posted by
4239 posts

I took photos of US when I went to Germany about 8 years ago to meet relatives I’d found through a travel document my great grandfather had kept. Fortunately the town was small and the name was fairly uncommon. It was a lovely, first time reunion with about 20 relatives. When I returned home armed with even more information they gave me including letters between my great grandfather and his family in Germany, I took photos from the day, documents, a family tree, photos of the house now and then and made a photo scrapbook and sent it to the older relatives from this meetup. I also took a little journal for people to write in that day and asked my husband and SIL to take pictures because I was sooooo busy talking to each person who came, sometime with others translating for us. Hope you have a wonderful meetup too!