New itinerary idea that's less crazy... thoughts?

The Skellig Michael boats are small and cancellations are common because of rough seas. If you get caught out by this you have pretty much wasted 1 of your 3 days in Ireland.

Still much too busy.
The outlier is the trip up to the Cliffs, which frankly aren't worth the extra time you've devoted to them. Better (IMO) to skip that and concentrate on the area around Kilkee, including the peninsular drive around Loop Head, before finding your way to the ferry at Killimer. Would be a much better use of your discretionary time, and would reduce at least some of the frenetic pace that you've set up for yourself.
I'd also avoid Killarney. Traffic getting in and out of there in August will be a real pain. Better to slow down a bit and explore the northern part of the ROK, including the exquisite Gap of Dunloe and beautiful Valencia Island before settling in at Portmagee. Time permitting you could also explore the Skellig Ring Road - a much more pleasant and mellow experience than battling the crowds in and near Killarney.
Have a Plan B for your day to the Skelligs. There's a lot to see along the ROK in case the weather forces a cancellation.
The general advice here is to slow it down when in Ireland, and to resist the urge to drive yourselves to distraction by trying to "see everything" on a first visit. That philosophy really is a recipe for disappointment. If there's a country that's meant to be savored at a more leisurely pace it's Ireland. Do yourselves a favor and slow things down a bit ... or a lot.

I had just put Killarney because I thought we had to drive through it to start the ring. is there a better way around it?
thanks for y'alls help!

I agree with Robert...I would take the Cliffs of Moher out of the equation altogether. Don't get me wrong, the COM are amazing, but, IMO your time would be better spent savoring the Loop Head Peninsula. The Kilkee Cliffs aren't as tall as the COM, but they're more dramatic, and you can stop and get out wherever you want. There are several huge sea stacks along the coast, whereas the COM has only one small one. I don't think you'll feel cheated if you skip the COM.

As for Bridges of Ross, make sure to, one, walk all the way to the southern end of the area (beyond the actual 'bridge'), and, two, walk around the area north of the car park....incredible scenery.

-Russ

From Listowel a pleasant drive on your day 2 would be to get an early start and head for the Gap of Dunloe, which is west of Killarney. While the National Park and the town are nice enough I just don't think you'll have the time to fit it in to your itinerary.
Better (I think) to get to the Gap early, ie before 9:30 or so, in order to enjoy it before the day trippers start to arrive. It's one of the prettiest little glens in Ireland, with lots of photo ops along the way ... especially in the light of early morning. It's 3.5 miles from the starting point at Kate Kearney's Cottage to the head of the glen. You can either walk or bike it, and there's a cute little tea room about a mile in where you can grap coffee and a scone of you need a break. The jaunting cars are fun too. Driving thru it is not recommended. Signage indicates that it's for local traffic only, plus it's a narrow rural road with few pullouts, so you'd likely instigate the mother of all traffic jams if you tried it by car when the jaunting cars are operating. The food at Kate Kearney's is surprisingly good, so you could delay there long enough for lunch too.
From there it's about an hour and a half to Portmagee. A pleasant side trip from there is the previously mentioned Skellig Ring Road - a spur off the ROK where tour buses don't go. The Kerry Cliffs are there, along with Skellig Chocolates just up the road. Further around is the village of Ballinskelligs - where the monks went after they left Skellig Michael - and where there are the ruins of an old abbey, an old castle and a very pretty stretch of sandy beach if you'd like to stretch your legs.