Help planning a family trip to Ireland w/non-travel savvy family

I also seek guidance from anyone who has traveled with non-flexible family members in how to have a good time without wanting to scream every five minutes.

Kayla, good luck. The only thing I can suggest is that you don't take personal responsibility for making sure everyone is happy. You want to see the Book of Kells and they don't? Go yourself anyway, point them to a shop or a pub, or leave them to figure to out. They dont want foreign food? Point them to the nearest McDonalds and go yourself. Its frustrating but remind them that they volunteered to go. Who knows, maybe they'll lose their fears and actually enjoy it.

The only thing I can comment on is the non-flexible family members. I’ve planned several family trips to Europe and 2 of my family are older non-flexible. It always begins with everyone being excited, then when we arrive at our destination the downward spiral begins.

No matter how hard I tried these 2 always ended up being miserable and making the rest of us miserable. They are now banned from traveling with us.

If you want to have a good time and not set yourself up for failure then either leave the non- flex people at home or have a serious heart to heart before setting out on the adventure. No Whining! Is my mantra 🙂 Good luck to you.

You don't say how long you plan to make your trip. This will be important if you aren't going to have a car as it will take longer for you to get places by public transit. You will have to stick more to the beaten track without a car as getting to some places by bus is just too time consuming. I did a three week trip without a car and made use of a bus/train pass to get around, and when I got to certain destinations I made use of guided bus tours to see the sights. You have to spend more time planning up front in order to make good use of your time. Larger towns are easy to get to by train (Dublin, Killarney, Galway, Cork, Kilkenny, Belfast), but getting to smaller places (such as Dingle) can be too time consuming so I did a day trip to Dingle from Killarney. The west coast is not out of the question if you don't have a car. Just take the train to Galway and from there you can do day trips to the Cliffs of Moher/ Burren, Connemara, and Aran Islands. I small quaint town that is easily accessible that would make a nice stop for a couple nights is Kinsale. Train to Cork and a one hour bus ride to get there. B&Bs are a much better value than hotels, and they always serve up a great breakfast, and you are more likely to meet locals. My suggestion would be to first figure out how much time you have, and then pick some larger places to base yourself in for a few days each. The best three would be Dublin Killarney and Galway. The trip from Killarney to Galway is a long one so I broke it up by stopping in Kinsale and Kilkenny on my way from Killarney. This worked quite well, and I got to see most of what I wanted to.

I'm assuming your mother and sister aren't just difficult to please people so the unadventurous nature is just fear. For some the reason they can get uncooperative is worry that problems are going to arise that the group won't be able to handle. This is where traveling with a company like RS or others can work better. Your relatives might not have confidence in you but will trust the tour director/guide and relax. I

My sister had a difficult time for a few days in Paris with her husband when on their own - a new place for both of them. As soon as they joined our tour group for the rest of the time in France he relaxed and had a great time because he knew that professionals had it all under control.

I know it can be pricy but if at all possible join a tour group. Let them worry about the details, the hotels, the driving, etc. As a fall back consider taking organized day tours - lots of options in Ireland.

Hand them the guidebook and ask them to pick out things they want to do. You can do the travel logistics but make them make some choices.

Bus day tours are all about "the beaten paths". I suggest you find out what they want to see and look for bus tours from a base such as Galway. Good for you giving them this opportunity.

I too was going to suggestion taking the train to Galway or Cork and taking day tours from there. Maybe your mother and sister could look at the guidebooks and decide which "beaten path" day tour they would like to take from those places. If they each chose one destination in each city they would have some "skin in the game" and may not be so surly. And if they are surly, I would take off on my own for half a day or even a full day. Maybe build that in right from the start. Every 2 days you go off on your own for 1/2 day.

On our trip last September, we landed at the Dublin airport, then caught the bus to Galway on the west coast. The bus passed thru Dublin, so we got a mini-tour of Dublin en route. This was a double decker bus, and we managed to get seats right up front on the top, so there were great, unobstructed views. A toilet onboard meant there wasn’t any discomfort, just bring lunch or snacks with you if you need, and a nap for anyone who’s a bit jet-lagged (Denver’s a longer flight over than is Boston) was also doable. We started in a less crowded, more country setting, with a couple nights in Galway then to the more rural parts, and finished up in big Dublin.

If you did opt for The West, maybe with one tour organizer or different tours for different places, south of Galway are the stunning Cliffs of Moher and it’s visitor center, as is the unique Burren. North of Galway is the great Connemara area.

While in Trim, did you visit the Neolithic sights including Newgrange, or is that something you’d get to see along with them now, if you stick closer to Dublin?

One stress reliever when with a group of 1 or more friends has been to have a “kitty” for small purchases like a coffee, tea, beer, cider, or snack. Decide if everyone’s paying on their own for shopping, meals, etc., but for common small expenses, everybody chips in, say, €20 into the kitty. And one person is the designated holder of the kitty. Use it to pay for everybody’s smaller purchases, and nobody has to quibble about who got the bigger coffee or ordered an extra tart or ice cream. When the kitty gets low, everybody chips in again.

Kayla,
Some posters above have suggested taking a guided (packaged) tour, like Rick Steves' group tour or other.

An idea to consider is to still make your own plans (maybe using the itineraries from various companies' packaged tours to pick/choose what your group will want to do)..........then HIRE A PRIVATE driver to take you and your crew from place to place. That way you do not have to worry, you will have a local driving, you get to call the shots on where you go and when, and you have a person driving who can also tell your family about Ireland.

Do you have any idea where in Ireland your grandmother grew up? If she came thru Ellis Island, sometimes the research can be pretty easy. But, to visit the town or townland where she grew up might be extra special. You can also Google to find people there with the same last name and ask around to see who might know your lineage......it is amazing how many Irish, especially in the smaller towns, know a lot of the history of family names, who had family members to to the US, and who is related to whom.

While a private driver is not inexpensive, divided over three people, it really would not be "that much" on a daily basis. And, some days, if you stay in a place for two days, you likely would not need a driver for both days (which would allow that person to take fares from someone else). And, I can pretty much guarantee you that taking that approach would be WAYYYYY less expensive than signing three people up for a packaged tour, and you can do everything on your schedule and add/delete sights along the way.

That's what we did when we went to Ireland, and it was a very enjoyable, and stress-free experience for us. I sent a rough itinerary to the man who drove for us, and he asked if I were open to suggestions (I very much was), and the improvements he suggested really did make a difference in how much we enjoyed!

And, as I practiced with Thanksgiving during some tense family dynamics, having a "stranger" in the crowd (in this case the vehicle) usually puts everyone on better behavior. :O Our driver had quite the sense of humor, which was nice and he was also very attuned to our interests.

And another thought..........it does not have to be all one way or the other. You could do tour Dublin on your own or with a combination of guided day tours, etc. then catch the train to Galway, then have a driver meet you to take you thru Western Ireland....Connemera Region, Doolin, Dingle (Connor's Pass, etc.), Rock of Cashel, Adare, Bunratty Folk Park or really anything else that might interest you. To do that far and not see the beauty of Western Ireland, the lovely acres of stone fenced land, the lovely coastal areas...that would be missing something really great.

I would advise flying into Dublin then out of Shannon........but if ticket prices are incredibly better (as in $1000 or more each), then okay maybe okay to loop back to Dublin to return home. But, it would be more efficient use of your time to fly into one section then out the other.

Wow, thank you for the plethora of replies. I think that engaging help either through a tour company or driver would be a good bet. We are probably only going to have 7-10 days and i would like them both to experience the west as well. My hope is that I am overreacting and they will both become more adventurous when we arrive!