Really depends on what you want out of it. There are fantastic small towns with a couple pubs but are wonderful laid back "real" Ireland and there are larger towns that offer far more in the way of restaurants and pubs but are a bit more busy and touristy. More personal preference.
For my wife and I - here's our take. Dingle - great location and a pretty town. During season very tourist crowded and congested. Good pubs and restaurants but for us a bit too much congestion. Great as a base but left us a bit harried.
Kenmare - super location for the ROK - excellent shopping options - excellent pubs restaurants and music - though trad music wasn't always available. Great option and convenient but a bit busy and larger than we like.
Sneem - awesome small town- especially after 4 when the day trippers leave. Awesome ROK location. Fantastic views - excellent pub grub and restaurants- loved Kelly's for lunch - food SO good. Great feel - close to the wonderful Staigue Ring Fort. Excellent location and if you want a small medium size town - it's great.
Waterville - really nice - great ocean front. Pubs, restaurants all top notch. Perfect location for ROK and Skellig Ring. Fun vibe there - gorgeous lake just inland Lough Currane. Really really nice people. Generally low key. It's on the end - west side of the Peninsula but for exploring the area hard to beat. Close to INSANE scenery !!!
Portmagee - awesome jumping off point for Skellig Michael, Valencia Island, Skellig Ring and the ROK. Very small but a couple good pubs and restaurant options. Really friendly folks .....Cliffs of Kerry right outside town - one of the best spots in Ireland. A fun place - but small if youre looking for active night life and has very little shopping to speak of. But you get quiet real Ireland in a GREAT location for exploring the area.
Dingle area is gorgeous but can be reasonably explored in a day or two... The ROK has far more diversity to offer and things to do.. 3-4 days for it are WELL worth it. Both good options they offer a lot with different time needs for exploration.
Our favorite larger town. Kenmare. Our favorite medium size town Waterville by a nose over Sneem. Favorite small town Portmagee. Favorite spot to stay - small village - the Glen and Ballinskellig.
Would urge you to skip Kinsale. It's great but a lot of driving for you all. I'd also pick either Dingle or the ROK on limited time and really explore either. Trying to do both you basically end up missing both. If you are going to Doolin for the Cliffs of Moher you can see better cliffs on the Skellig Ring outside of Portmagee at the Cliffs of Kerry and save tons of driving time.
All towns listed are good options and perfect for tailoring to your wants. Just give yourselves as much down time as possible to wander, linger and explore and interact w the warm, funny, gently sarcastic and welcoming Irish people. That's when the trip magic happens!
Have a great trip !