First trip to Iceland - need opinions on tours vs self-driving

I also am not a fan of driving. There are some great tour options.

Troll is a great company. I plan to take a longer tour with them when I return.

My trip report from last year might give you some ideas if you end of basing in Reykjavík.

https://community.ricksteves.com/travel-forum/trip-reports/6-nights-in-reykjavik-a-trip-report

Hubby and I just finished a Macsadventure self guided Drive/Hike trip in Iceland. They provided the rental car and the itinerary. We did the entire island clockwise. Driving on the roads, There are places to pull over, in some cases there is a picnic table there! the roads are narrow, no shoulder. If you rent a car, you will probably get an automatic, and not a 4 x 4. NOTE, you are NOT allowed to drive a regular car on any F roads. You don't need a 4 x 4 if you are just sticking to the areas you mention. There will be TONS of buses and camper vans on the road with you. If you get a flat, you are kind of on your own, there is an emergency number you can call, but it could take some time for someone to reach you. the rental car will have a sticker with this information, and the rental company will also explain everything for you.

Important to pay attention in parking lots. You have to pay to park. You will need to download the parka.ic app or scan a QR code. Be aware, and really look for the parking signs. If you don't pay, you will - the rental car company will forward the invoice to you, and it will be more than if you paid when you parked.

If you want to take pictures DO NOT STOP IN THE THE ROAD ! Yes, you will miss some things you'd like to photograph, no shoulder, and not a lot of places to pull over where you'd like to take a photo.

We arrived at KEF, had a transfer to our hotel, had the afternoon to explore Rekyavik , get over jet lag, and got our rental car the next day. That worked out great for us. We got to walk and eat and explore before driving. Every one here will tell you NOT to start driving the day you arrive, you need some time to adjust. There is basically NO NIGHT..although in Sept you will have a few more hours of twilight than we did in June this year.

First of all, September is a beautiful time there!

We much prefer to self drive, but have done day tours on our winter trips there due to weather. Driving in September is easy as it is not winter yet, BUT in Iceland winter weather can show up anytime, even in the dead of summer. As long as you keep an eye on the road and weather conditions and heed any warnings you are probably fine, but you really need to pay attention to the wind as it can and does blow vehicles off the road.

As for your hangups about driving, here are my thoughts.
1--We always get full insurance with includes roadside assistance.
2--There are plenty of automatic vehicles in the rental fleets, so no worries with that.
3--Parking lots outside of the city are easy as they are not tight spaces like a parking garage or lot here.
4--You CANNOT pull off the side of the road. There are basically no shoulders and if you stop, you are a huge hazard. Only stop when you see a real parking lot(will most likely be gravel, not a pristine paved lot like here). I think on every trip there so far we have seen vehicles that have been stuck after they thought they would simply pull over a bit on the road.

5--Weather changes on a dime all times of the year, so while odds are in your favor, in reality it can be anything.
6--It is always wise to keep driving on arrival day to an absolute minimum due to jetlag.

One thing you have not touched on is that in Iceland lodging tends to book out 9-12 months in advance. So you are late to the game for this year. If you self drive, your itinerary could very well be dictated by what you find for lodging. Two years ago, a friend and I booked a trip on a whim. We booked the first of April for a mid/late September trip and I had to juggle our itinerary due to lodging availability.

So all that said, with all of your concerns, it sounds like a tour might be more comfortable for you. We have done day tours with Troll, Nice Travel, and Bus Travel Iceland and all of these have been excellent for us.

IMO, the Golden Circle is just ok. If your time is limited, I would focus more on the south coast and Snaefellsness. Snaefellsness is a real gem and is like a mini Iceland in that there is a wide variety of things in a smaller space.

IMO, the Golden Circle is just ok.

I still have a hard time wrapping my head around this. I did the Golden Circle tour with my sister and her husband last year, and we were all absolutely blown away. It's hard to imagine Iceland getting even better than that. :-)

It just feels like a whole other planet—unlike anywhere else I've ever been.

On our first trip to Iceland, late May 2017, we drove the Ring Road. It was easy driving. The roads are very good and outside of Reykjavik there wasn't much traffic. Many tour companies offer car rental and hotel stop packages like we had. We had the freedom to travel at our own pace each day and stop at many sites not seen by tour groups. The car rental company included an excellent road guide and GPS unit, which fortunately our daughter was able to decipher. We were able to rent a mid-size automatic. We saw occasional police cars along the road, so I think if we had had difficulty we would have had assistance. The weather was cool and we did have snow showers, but light coats and layers were enough. If there had been dangerous weather or earthquake or volcanic danger the national weather service would have notified drivers. The hotels were excellent.

On our second trip to Iceland Reykjavik and Akureyri were cruise stops. We did some tours from those cities to places we had been before. That may have tempered our enthusiasm for the group experience.

We will be returning to Iceland next year, also on a cruise, but will only have time in Isafjordur. We will do our own exploration there.

Carrie--I know that sounds odd, but the rest of the country offers so much. We have spent significant time in that area due to our itineraries of driving through there on various trips, and for us, it just is not as impressive as other areas. Don't get me wrong, there are some great sights, but if I had to limit an area this would be it.

I think it comes down to how much you value the convenience of being driven vs the flexibility of controling your own itinerary. And the financial part too -- if you have 2 or more ppl in your party, renting is definitely less expensive.

My wife and I just came back from Iceland. We took a transatlantic cruise from NJ to Reykavik, then stayed in town for 5 days. The cruise ship made 2 stops in Iceland before the final destination. At those stops, we took shore excursions with tour operators, but for the 5 days we were in Reykvaik, we rented a car. The excursions were booked with local companies directly, not through the cruise line, so the price should be comparable to what you will pay. One 5-hr trip was $250 per person. One 3-hr trip was $150 per person. Our rental car (automatic transmission) was about $100 per day. On the days we drove to the attractions, we typically started around 8 AM and didn't get back until 8 PM, so I am guessing a similar 10-12 hr tour would cost you $500 per person -- for 2 ppl, that's $1000 vs $150 (car + gas + parking). We also really liked having a car for the flexibility. For example, we drove to Geysir but saw the parking lot was very full, so we decided to skip it and went to the next attracton. We went back to Geysir 2 days later.

1. What happens if I get a flat or other car trouble?

Rental cars (whether in Iceland or US) tend to be pretty new and in good condition. The chance of breakdown (while being operated in a normal fashion) is very small.

1. I'd need an automatic - would that limit my selection?

You do have to pay a little more for automatic transmission, but all rental car places have the cars available as long as you make a reservation ahead of time.

1. I think I have terrible spatial awareness haha, tiny, crowded spaces like parking lots might make me nervous, I'm afraid I'll hit something.

Iceland is not Rome or Lisbon with crooked narrow streets. Reykjavik and the suburbs look pretty much like any US medium size city. If you can drive and park ok in US, you should be fine there. The only exception is most roads outside Reykjavik are not divided highway, but 2-way one-lane roads with a 90 km/hr speed limit (55 mph), equivalent of a country road in US.

1. Are there spots to pull off to the side of the road if I need to stop

There are view points along scenic roads for you to pull over and take pictures. If there isn't any designed pull-over place, you will not be able to pull over as the shouder may only be 6-12 inches wide before sloping down to a ditch. Lots of roads in US especially in rural area are like that too.

1. I heard Icelandic weather can be unpredictable, although I guess early September shouldn't be too bad.

Icelandic weather is indeed unpredicable and Sept will be no exception. We were there in early July and it's bad too. Your weather app on the phone is likely to show every day as "chance of rain". The chance varies 20% to 100% hour to hour. Basically you have to be prepared that you will be walking/driving/hiking in rain all the time, then be pleasantly surprised if it is not actively raining when you are out and about.

1. I know I'll arrive sleep deprived as I don't sleep on planes.

It's certainly a good idea to limit your driving on the frist day. Usually, when you first land, your adrenaline is pumping and you won't feel sleepy until a few hours later, so picking up a rental car and driving 45 minuts from the airport to the city should not be a problem. Once you drop off the luggage, maybe do some sightseeing around the city on foot. You can also take a cab to your hotel/Airbnb first, and spend the first day in the city without a car, then pick up the rental car on the 2nd or 3rd day, as most rental car companies have offices at the airport and in downtown Reykavik. You can return the car at the airport on departure day or return it the night before to the city office.