Solo travel? (A gloomy post)

My father and I have traveled all over the US and Much of Europe over the decades

Be grateful for the good times you have had; many have not been so fortunate.

Sorry do not have any insight on 'solo travel'.

Being a parent's sole caregiver can suck the life out of a person. That will happen to many of us.

You are in for a rough time, but you will get through it - because you have no other choice. Maybe European travel will be on the back burner for a while - you're relatively young - so it's not gone for good.

I'm thinking that since you don't think you'd do well on a multi-day escorted tour, you should consider traveling independently and taking day trips with companies that offer small-group tours.

Good luck to you!

Douglasjmeyer, I am sorry to hear about dad's decline. Knowing he won't be able to fill the 'wingman' roll in the future may be making things harder. I know the travel times together have been very dear to you. Keep those memories.
Not to turn you away, but sometimes we need a complete break from many peripheral activities when life gets tough and it may be an easier load if you do break from travel forums while dad needs your focus. Been there. It takes some discipline, but you don't need discomfort or disappointments now
I am a solo traveler. Most of my travel has been this wsy and in my 50's. I tend to do DIY land travel. Sometimes, due to logistics and it being the only way, I take a tour (safari, Egypt river cruise, Galapagos Islands) but I have done birding in the Amazon, Spain, Tanzania safaris, volunteering in Africa, cruises, North American road trips, some 3 week Europe trips. It doesn't have to be only one wsy to travel.

If you aren't much of a people person anyway, becoming a DIY solo traveler is sometimes easier than for those extroverts of the world. You already build DIY trips so the skills are there. If you think about it, huge swaths of the travelling public undergo similar decisions after divorce or widowhood. Imagine the challenge of a person who spend over 50 years with another and that person did the planning and financials for the pair. Not only does the one left have to cope with the loss and missing a spouse, but also needs to learn all the skills involved too. So, it is achievable. You may have to adjust to a different budget level as far as accommodation goes, but it can be done.
On days you want company, then you join a day or part day tour. There is absolutely no need to join a multi day tour.
I am on several solo travel forums and we often recommend starting with short closer to home trips. Often ot is to see if it suits the person, but for you, it might be to get back i to the saddle and see the positive aspect of traveling alone. Traveling alone doesn't translate to being odd or pathetic. It is actually quite liberating.
This forum may have also worked as a mental break from your daily demands. I hope you can find some replacement. Perhaps a support group for primary care givers, or a hobby Facebook or web page? Joke of the day.....something that provides a positive note rather than a sense of yearning.

I started traveling solo in my early 20s & continue to love it.

I have found my travels to be even more of a gift as I endured the early passing both of my beloved parents. My mother & I had the trip of a lifetime to Athens, Santorini, Istanbul, Cappadocia, Kusadasi & Ephesus just 2 years before she passed away.

I am turning 50 in a few weeks and have planned a solo trip to England in two months (a 4 day weekend) & Switzerland in 8 months (one week).

I am in my early fifties, and I often travel solo. I would have loved to travel with my mom when she was living, but she was a hardcore homebody. I'm so glad you have so many wonderful memories of travel with your dad.

I am an extrovert, so my experience is different; however, I really enjoy my solo trips. Opportunities arise when you are going it alone that you miss when you have company. And of course, you can see and do all that YOU want to do.

The only time I really miss a companion is at dinner. Nice dinners are meant to be shared. Sometimes I have a great waiter, sometimes folks sitting near me will indulge in conversation, and sometimes I take a plate to my room and work on photos while I eat. I do often sign up for tours. There is usually another solo person who is nice company for the day, but I'm not obligated to spend several days with strangers.

Anyway, give it a try. Go to some breathtakingly beautiful place and experience it solo. It's a wonderful feeling.

Best wishes to your dad.
Beth

First, please accept my heart-felt thoughts for you and for your father's health.

I, too, used to travel with a parent. After my Dad passed away, my Mom still wanted to travel. Neither of my siblings was in a situation to go with her, so I started to travel with her. We had many great times and adventures together in Europe. But, like your father, she can no longer travel at all due to her medical condition. So, I now travel solo.

I don't know about the rest of your life, but for me being solo isn't a change from my everyday life. I've been divorced for years, kids are grown, on their own, with their own kids. So, being alone is normal for me. Having said that, I do notice a difference in travelling alone. You do lose the moments you talked about where you are sharing something new with your "wingman."

However, for me, I have found that travel itself is still quite rewarding. I do now stay in touch more with those at home via electronic means, which helps. I also send photos of where I have been. These two things--talking about and sharing photos of what I've been doing--does in some small way still allow me to share what I am seeing while travelling. Also, and this might not apply to you, photography is a big part of my travels, so there are always places and times that you can strike up a conversation with others who are also taking photos. If you are in front of the Trevi fountain at 5 AM, or in Piazza San Marco, most likely there will be other people there doing just what you're doing. I struck up a conversation this past February in Rome with a young German as we were waiting for the sun to set behind the forum, for instance. He tried to teach me the German term for "f-stop", but I could not wrap my mouth around it at all!

So perhaps you can find a person or group that shares some passion that you have while your travelling--maybe it's food or art or history, whatever. Perhaps take a very tightly-focused tour that gibes with your interests to be able to talk to a few people and share some experiences with them.

And, I will say that for me it has gotten easier the more trips I've done (5 solo so far.) For me, the first one was the one that felt the oddest, but each one has felt progressively less odd, if that makes sense.

I hope this helps, and again I empathize with what you are feeling.

I am so sorry to hear about your father and you can still travel via books and shows and recreate the experience right where you are. This is a precious moment in time for both of you and it certainly is not the same but for the moments of good days or hours, make them count as I know you are or you would not have posted.

Don’t leave the forum as you and your dad can help others like me who have not journeyed to the places you enjoyed so much.

My mom could not travel but she had a love of cooking and adventure and the old Gourmet magazines provided that journey and that is where I picked up my love of travel and exploring new foods like the French!

I have been traveling Solo my entire life and love it. If you don’t like meeting new people then go on your own when you can in the future. It takes a lot of research and this forum has gotten me out of a few “Opportunities “. I think of it as the road less traveled.

You are young and your future holds a lot of new adventures with tough times as well, like now. All the best and I look forward to your help on this forum.

Oh Doug! Sending both you and your Dad my heartfelt good wishes.

I provided parent supervision for a number of years then wound up moving in to provide 24/7 care so I understand both the physical and emotional toll of being a caregiver.

In reading about your Dad's current level of health it does sound like you will be restricted in travel for the next little while.

I do often travel solo but I enjoy group travel as well. It works for my personality but you are right, it does not work for everyone. I have no hesitation on going on my own and in fact will be solo in Paris for a couple of weeks this fall. I'll meet up with a friend and her husband for a few days, then be on my own for 2 weeks before joining a group tour in the South of France. I'll return to Paris for a few more days on my own.

I love solo travel. I can see what I want, when I want. If I'm ready to head out at 7A, no need to wait for others to finish their morning routine. If I am pooped and want to have ice cream for dinner and an early night, I don't have to consider anyone else's needs and can do what works for me.

I suspect after you work thru your period of mourning for your previous travel life (and indeed that is what you are facing right now) as well as facing your Dad's physical decline, you'll be ready to continue with your travel when you come out the other side.

Are you an only child or do you have siblings that can come spell you for a few days? My brother was a lifesaver for me. He would take off a few days and it would allow me to head for my bolt hole (Yellowstone, lol!) for a few days of head clearing in the fresh air.

Thinking of you....

You are asking some very profound questions that might not have answers. Are his treatments specific to a location or could they be done in another area. A friend need dialysis on a regular schedule. He actually found a network set up for people who traveled and need dialysis in different locations. It took some time to set up and schedule and it did reduce the time he had for sightseeing while traveling. But it did allow some reasonable travel. Anything like that possible for your father? I have an eye problem that can flare up with about 30 secs of warning and lead to blindness if not treated literally within hours. My eye doctors participates in an international network of eye specialists who treat this problem. I carry a list with the names, phone number, of very doctor in every major European city who can deal with this problem on an emergency basis. Never been tested and hopefully will not but I have the list.

Second your statement ----- I have an absolutely horrible time around people I don’t really know due to my own personality quirks. ---- bothers me a bit more. Since you say it is a quirk, is it changeable or manageable in anyway? Is it something you want to work on or is it simply something you enjoy and gain benefit from? Maybe it could be faced now because the future is not good. Sometime your father will simply be gone and you will have to facing the balance of your time alone. There are things that limited most us anyway --- some times we can control it and other times it is out of our control. I have a couple of personality quirks that I work very hard to control because I know they can have impact on other people. Any possibilities there???

Your father's situation, as unfortunate as it is, is temporary for you. So maybe a little suspension of travel, focus on some financials, your personal health is simply part of the process of preparing for your next phrase of life and travel. Good luck.

Douglas, you are understandably going through a very difficult time with your father’s health decline, and the changes to your normal part of life. Give yourself permission to take a break from the forum or anything else that might be adding stress or regret for the next few months.

When you do feel ready again later to think about travel, then you can decide what type of travel, destinations and solo vs. other options you want. On the positive side, I will share that I used to travel solo a lot for work but always had my husband with me for our yearly trip to Europe. Last year he wanted to skip a year, but I definitely wanted to go to Europe so I planned a 3-week trip back to Italy. I had a fantastic vacation, going to many places and seeing festivals, cooking classes, music events, etc. that were fun for me. I talked with my husband on FaceTime when it was convenient in the evening and also shared some photos with friends on Facebook; there are many ways to not feel lonely.

Do your dad and you have other hobbies in common or even something new that you could enjoy or discuss that aren’t affected by distance?

So sorry to hear about your Dad.

I have historically traveled with a friend, but the more I travel, the more I want to travel. My travel desires (and my generous time off at work) have exceeded my friends' desires (and their time off at work), so I've started doing some trips on my own. I started with some long-weekend 5-day trips (including travel time). I tried an 8-day trip last summer. I'm trying a 3+ week trip to Slovenia this fall.

Honestly, my preference is to travel with another person. It's fun to discover things together. But I want to see so much stuff that I have to do some travel on my own; I also want to try to do as much active stuff as I can now -- I can walk through London at 70 but hiking in the Alps will be tough then. I often hire a guide to do things with me (though I do that when I travel with a friend, too). In a place like Germany, that's crazy expensive. In old eastern block countries, though, it's not so bad. The guide gives me a companion for 2-8 hours on any given day, and that helps out. I agree with the person who said meals are the hardest time. I'm an introvert, so I am unlikely to strike up conversation with someone sitting near me.

All-in-all, though, I would much rather travel by myself than not travel at all.

You've gotten some real good input so far. I would add this: don't write anything off as an option, and try to be open to all possibilities. The "idea of something", as you referenced, is just that...an idea, or bias, and/or perhaps a premature closing of a door to an experience that may surprise you in a positive way. You will never know unless you try. Unfortunately, bad circumstances in life often cause us to adapt to very new ways of doing things (including getting way out of the comfort zone), so give yourself permission to at least try something you may not be excited about right now. Making decisions while in emotional turmoil or immediately following a sudden life changing event is not the best time because your mind is clouded, for lack of better words.

Take some time to adjust, do what you can for your Dad (including perhaps very short local trips, if possible), treat yourself as well as you can, and revisit your options when you're ready to explore them. I would even suggest not writing off every type of group tour - you can start small and experiment with what works best (like a very limited tour to start). And of course, I would enthusiastically encourage you to try solo travel when you're ready because it has its own unique rewards. I have done all kinds of travel - solo, with a SO, with parents/ relatives, with friends, and even with a group although I'm a DYI kind of traveler. Each experience brought its own special qualities, and I'm thankful for all.

Hello Doug, I am sorry about the position you find yourself in. My very first trip to Europe was with my Mom and I have traveled with my parents for decades, both domestically and internationally. They are my favorite traveling partners!

Although we can still travel domestically, they have "hung up their passports." My Mom, however, still loves to travel to Europe. And - at the risk of this sounding like a commercial - she plans her weekdays to watch her travel shows. When I'm in town, I make a point of joining her while we travel with Rick Steves to different destinations every day across Europe. She says she enjoys those just as much as going - perhaps more because she doesn't get as tired! Since her "retirement" from international travel, we've "been" together to Italy, Edinburgh, the Scottish Highlands and many, many more.

So while it's not quite the question you asked, and it might seem like a dim replacement at first, perhaps this could be a travel experience that you and your father could still look forward to!

I thought I would share another idea with you, as I am now also a solo traveler. I miss traveling with my Mom and Dad and still enjoy sharing my travel experiences with them. One of the new things I've begun to do is to share the pictures of my trips as I go.

Before I leave on my trips, I set up a DropBox account - shared with my parents - with folders for each of the places I'm visiting. I upload all my documents and reservations for hotels and activities. Each night in the hotel room, I upload my pictures. Not only does that create a safe backup, it also gives them a way to follow along with my trip. I take pictures of the signs for each place I'm visiting, so they know what they're looking at. Sometimes my Mom will go find pictures online and read about the places.

So while it's not quite the same as being in the same hotel with them, it allows me to share my trip, without them having to make the long flight :-)

I have several suggestions. Sorry to hear about your dad.

1) Find a travel partner. There's a way to do that on the RS website

https://community.ricksteves.com/travel-forum/travel-partners

2) Take one of Rick's tours. You will be in a group of 25 or so other travelers.

3) Go to a lot of hostels. You will find a lot of younger folks there, and they often set up excursions.

I'm very sorry about your dad's health, and the situation in which you both find yourselves. If reading and responding to forum posts makes you uncomfortable at this point, nothing requires you to do so. But this thread reminds me, as I'm sure it reminds you, of what awesome caring people inhabit this space.

My wife and I used to make near-annual trips to Europe, but mobility limitations are making this too hard for her. Our situation is not nearly as serious as yours, but I started going alone on RS tours last year and expect to be doing DIY solo trips too. (We still do road trips and cruises together.) I'm relatively outgoing so this isn't as hard for me as maybe for you. If I'm eating alone I always have something to read and I'm fine with that. Solo travel can be fun and rewarding as others have described, so I hope you won't rule it out for the future, even though you're constrained now.

Best of luck to you and your father, and I hope you'll be back on the road someday somehow. And thanks for you contributions to this forum, past, present, and hopefully future.

If your father's health stabilizes under the new treatment regime, perhaps you can take some 4- or 5-day trips to accessible destinations in North America: Quebec City, Montreal, Toronto, Ottawa, Vancouver and Victoria come to mind. There are also US destinations with a distinctive-enough atmosphere that they can be very appealing even to folks with a lot of foreign-travel experience: Miami Beach, Key West, Boston, New Orleans, San Francisco, Seattle, Phoenix/Tucson, etc.

Hi,
I don't know where you live, but if there is a Travel Group (like the ones advertised on this forum) in our area, I suggest you go to the meetings. You may find like-minded, avid travelers, and even meet some future travel buddies, (as I have done). Even if you are not planning a trip yourself, your travel experience could be valuable to others, and it can be a fun to talk travel, relate your experiences and hear theirs. Even when I am not planning a trip, I'm excited and interested to hear about what others are doing. Perhaps you will be too.

I am sorry to hear about your situation. Both of my parents have passed away, and so I understand the difficulties.

On the subject of solo travel, my experience is a bit different from yours. My first travels were with my parents, but I stopped travelling with them in my 20s, and became a solo traveller. I will not go into the details of how this came to be, but I found that I actually preferred to travel solo, and it has been my preferred way of travelling ever since. I have travelled solo in Europe, Asia, North America, New Zealand, and here in Australia. The big exception has been China, because that is where my parents were from, and so it was good to share that with them, especially when meeting other family members. Plus I needed them as interpreters.

But I would also say that my parents were not comfortable with the idea of independent travel outside of Australia and China. As far as they were concerned the only way to see other countries was via bus tours, so I think it was inevitable that we would do things differently.

In my opinion, solo travel is not for everyone. But I find that it suits me. I enjoy the independence, being able to make my own choices of what to see. Whenever I have travelled with other people, there are always compromises to be made, about what to see, eat, where to stay and everything else. I have travelled with friends in the past as well, and after a while, I find they can be a bit of a constraint. After a while I really would like to do my own thing. This is even with people that I am still good friends with. On my own, I can make my own 'eccentric' choices. One challenge is eating solo in restaurants, because you do feel self conscious. However, I never let that stop me, and the sense of self consciousness is gone once the food arrives anyhow.

The only way of finding whether solo travel suits you is to actually do it. It sounds like that will not be soon, but I would recommend at least giving it a small try in the future. It need only be weekend away somewhere.

An addition, in my city, there is a travel Meetup group. If you don't know Meet Up, it is a website where activities are posted, usually around a theme, hobby, activity. It is just a way to meet like minded people. Mayve is it something along the lines of an RS local meeting, but these are not as specific. Some travel Meet Ups are sponsored by agents trying to,promote group travel and specific tours or cruises, others are just for solo or women travelers. Mine is a mix of solos, couples, friends, old and young. Usually one member presents a Powerpoint presentation on a place they have been. Perhaps, if convenient, this would be of interest to visit together while Dad is able. It may well mot be Europe vased but would provide both of you something to discuss as general topics rather than something to envy. Or start a new hobby together. Birdwatching can be as passive or energetic as you would like it to be.

I'm sorry about your dad. That's hard.

I disagree with others who say that traveling alone is better suited for extroverts. I am an introvert and I love traveling alone, although I don't get to do it a lot with the demands of raising a young family. To be able to do exactly what I want to do, for as long as I want, is the best feeling. In fact, I would argue that introverts are best suited for traveling alone, as we are comfortable by ourselves. I can't think of anything less desirable than joining a group travel as a solo person (that's for the extroverts, haha!). The exceptions I would make to this would be if I were traveling somewhere that I didn't feel safe as a solo woman, but for most of Europe and the US....bring on the solo travels.

I'm so sorry to hear about your dad's health challenges. I can't imagine how difficult it must be for you to see him go through them. The suggestion to take shorter trips with him sounds like a good one, if his treatments aren't too debilitating.

As an only child, I had to be prepared to be responsible for helping my parents from a very early age, so I have some understanding of what you're going through.

Until 2014 all my trips to Europe were totally self-planned. I took my first RS tour (1 week Istanbul) with my husband that year, combined with 4 self-planned weeks in Greece. The next year, after 5 European trips, he opted out of any travel that involved long plane rides, so it's been solo travel for me since then .

I did a self-planned 6-week trip to the UK in 2016. In 2017, I did my first solo Rick Steves tour. I've done 3 since then, all solo, all with the single supplement. I usually plan some extra nights alone before and after the tours.

Traveling solo has advantages and disadvantages, but for me, the plusses far outweigh the minuses.

Unlike my first trip about 40 years ago, today's technology lets me share my experiences with family and friends -- if I keep up!

You said this in your posting,

"issues with travel insurance not covering for preexisting conditions."

I'm 73 and have multiple medical issues any one of which could require significant medical intervention, being sent home for care or even in a box or an urn. I make sure my husband has his passport in case he has to come accompany me home.

And I always get travel insurance that provides excellent medical coverage. Many companies do provide coverage for pre-existing conditions, but there are time-based requirements. I use Travel Guard, the one affiliated with the Rick Steves tours.

This is a link to the article about travel insurance on this RS website. To have pre-existing conditions covered, you must purchase the insurance within a short period of time after making your first payment on the trip. For some that might be the plane reservation. For me the past few years, that's been making the RS tour reservation request.

I hope that you and your wingman will have some more travel in your futures, and that you will continue to learn from and participate in the Forum.

I have never traveled Solo on a vacation (just business trips within the US). But my new unfortunate reality is that my traditional travel partner is no longer going to be able to join me......My father and I have traveled all over the US and Much of Europe over the decades.....

Gee Doug,

Very sorry to read this. As you put it, "your wingman." It is hard when a parent is your best friend too. It can be forgotten (in the throes of good health and fun traveling) they are older than their children of course and will have health issues earlier on.

I am sure it is hard to witness a parent's illness. When people are young and healthy and going about life, they are not going to stop and think about the years way ahead. Then it hits. As you mentioned, a trip to Italy you both looked forward to had to be cancelled.

There is no need to apologize for what you shared. Of course you (and your Dad) are going through many emotions. Whether you share your feelings on the open forum or with a trusted friend you may have made on the forum, sometimes, it can help to have someone listen. They may not have the answers -- just their ears or encouragement.

I realize you stated you and your Dad enjoyed European travel. Since he cannot walk far distances now, is it possible or have you considered taking long weekend trips with him?

I don't know where you live. Could you and he plan out some interesting things or routes of travel? Make some new memories close to home?

Find places where your Dad would not need to walk a lot (can he use a rolling walker/with seat?) That may help in stopping and resting or sitting where people are standing - like museums, etc.

I realize a lot of things are running through your mind - solo trips, future - what ifs, etc.

Of course there will be something to look forward to. Even if you are more on the introverted side, you can still travel solo in a group. You don't have to take a tour unless you want to. You don't have to spend your off time with others. If you decide to take a guided tour, you can reap the benefits but still have your freedom or private time.

You may surprise yourself. You never know how you will click with a person. Sometimes, all it takes is an easy going person. A very outgoing person can be scary to someone who does not share that type or personality.

I don't know if you would feel right to talk to your Dad about how you feel. You know your Dad of course. I know you would not want him to feel bad about not being able to go with you on trips. So you would have to feel it out.

Anyway, good luck to your Dad. I hope you can find some peace of mind in talking it out with some.

I'm so sorry for your dad's poor health. I hope y'all will have great times reminiscing about all the great trips you've taken together. I agree with the idea of taking one or two day tours(Mad Max and Rabbies come to mind) when you travel alone. My almost non-existent experiences traveling alone are limited to short nearby trips while my husband is working in major cities but I enjoyed those experiences. Based on his lack of interest in some of them (St. Fagan's in Wales being the best example), it's a good thing thing I went by myself. When you travel alone, you can plan your itinerary solely to please yourself.

Doug, sorry to hear of the change yr dad's condition. You have gotten lots of good ideas above. Both for right now, and for later
I like what one poster wrote about watching Rick steves show with her mom. Also, what about a theme movie night once a week, Roman holiday and pasta, inn of the seventh happiness and take out Chinese. Etc?

Doug, thanks for being so authentic with us. Know that you have a lot of people rooting for you and your Dad.

I always traveled with my husband. When he died suddenly, I was left with a lot of the same questions about how did I ( fill in the blank) without him. Travel was one of those many challenges.

I started off by traveling with my sister. That would be the “find a new travel partner” suggestion you’ve already received.

Then, I decided to try what I called, “the great experiment”. I signed up for a Rick Steves tour and paid for the single supplement. I wasn’t sure if a group tour would be the right fit for me or not. I knew that trying one was really the only way I would find out. It turns out, I really enjoyed it. There is enough free time built into the tours that you can have some “alone” time each day as you wish, and the Rick Steves tour groups have a reputation for being really great people. You get that shared experience feeling and enough personal time and space. When it is the right time again, try one and decide for yourself.

Finally, last spring I “graduated” to my first completely solo trip. I planned well and had a great time. If you are a person where shared experience is an important part of travel, you can still experience this as a solo traveler. First of all, being solo makes you more likely to interact with fellow travelers and locals. Then, technology makes sharing remotely a real possibility. Email, facetime, the polarsteps ap, etc all mean there can be interaction and sharing with others at home. Finally, don’t forget this forum. People here would love to hear about your travels as you go.

I’ve learned that I can travel in multiple ways and still have very positive experiences. I know you will be able to do this too when the time is right.

I am so very sorry about the challenges you and your Dad are facing in this season of your lives. God bless you.

douglas,

I'm sorry to hear of your Dad's situation and the effect this will have on your life and travel plans. I imagine you'll just have to take this one step at a time and work through the issues. Eventually you'll settle into a "new normal". As you're now your Dad's sole caregiver, you likely won't be able to travel for awhile anyway, solo or otherwise.

I've been travelling for many years using a combination of solo travel and guided tours. I've found that method works well for me and it's nice to have some time with a group as well as time on my own to see specific sights that interest me. In some areas, tours are a good option due to lack of transportation or whatever. I also find I learn more about the history and culture of each country on tours.

I can absolutely appreciate your comments about not being able to share special moments with someone else, and that's certainly something solo travellers have to deal with. There are pros & cons with both types and travel and unfortunately that's one of the "cons" of solo travel. I try to share as much as I can by using a Blog with lots of photos, but I'm not sure how much of that was read by my family. One of my friends used to really enjoy living vicariously through my travel blog, but unfortunately he's no longer with us.

As you prefer to travel mostly on your own due to "personality quirks", one "compromise" solution might be to try a RS My Way tour. You'll be responsible for your own touring in each location you visited and your contact with the group will be mostly just on the Bus, but there will be a tour director along who can help with sightseeing suggestions or whatever. You'll have less contact with the group on a My Way tour than on a regular guided tour. They take care of transportation and hotels, so that makes for easier planning. There are sometimes a few group dinners but you can opt out of those if you like. Either before or after the tour, you could spend some time completely on your own to try out solo travel.

I can appreciate your situation as I'm currently not able to travel for a couple of reasons. Despite the hopefully temporary issues I'm dealing with, I will still try to provide suggestions for other travellers here on the forum. Checking the forum every day helps me to keep my enthusiasm for travel.

Good luck!

I've had two solo travel experiences when my mom was living with me but could no longer travel. I still had two adult children at home so she wasn't left alone but I needed outside help for things my kids weren't willing/able to do - (bath/showers, her laundry, fixing meals, etc.)

One time I contracted with a provider through Care.com. This wasn't a great experience. The minimum was done as agreed but she didn't seem to care at all.

The second time I had a friend from church stay at my house and care for her the way I did (outside of my normal work hours).

The travel part was the easy part. I enjoy traveling and don't mind going alone. When you travel alone, you're only pleasing yourself. Every sight is based on your interests. If you want to spend all day in a museum, no one is pushing you out the door. If you only want to spend an hour somewhere, leave when you want. You stay in places that meet your needs and eat what, and when, appeals to you.

You’ve gotten a lot of wonderful feedback, suggestions and care from the group here.
All I can add is to take things one day at a time and everything will fall into place gradually. As you take care of your father, you also need to allow yourself to take care of you. Some things are beyond your control and you should never feel you didn’t do enough.
I found conversations with our clergyman and doctor helpful. In your case, just talking with your father about what happiness he hopes for you now and in the future could be helpful guiding your choices and embarking on a new stage in life.

I have taken several trips on my own. You just have to get into the right mindset.
For me, if I have unstructured time, meaning I haven't decided what to do or how to spend my days, I get depressed quickly by myself. I never travel alone for more than a week and I make sure I have a very specific plan in place. I schedule one or two actual sights per day, decide where I want to go on at least one walking exploration, decide where I'm having dinner and make a reservation, and plan specific things for the evenings so I have a destination and keep busy. I LOVE traveling solo now that I have figured this out. If I have unstructured time and don't know what I'm doing next I start feeling very alone and I DO NOT do well with that. If I do start feeling that way I sit at a bar and strike up a conversation with the bar tender and/or other patrons.
For me, each day needs to be planned out and that's the key to having a good time.

Thank you for all the kind comments and suggestions.
Sorry I have not replied befor now, but this topic is obviously a bit sensitive for me.

I will add a few replies to various questions and comments, first off I am in my 50s and dad is in his 80s. We are hoping that the new treatments will help but I am afraid that in general he has difficulty walking any distance greater then a couple hundred feet and heat and humidity makes the issue worse. And this will only get worse.
As for family, I have a lot but they choose to not participate in any meaningful way.
With luck these treatments will mean that for a while we may be able to take short trips locally of a bit less then a week,
But we will need to go to places that do not require much walking even then.

I think the travel situation was mad more of a sore point in that we had just finalized our plans for Italy and were about to start making reservations. And on top of this Dad is a bit depressed because he is frankly board. As he was very active until this.

As for travel. I am and always have been single and more then a bit withdrawn. Add in food restrictions and other things and I tend to find that I am not the greatest of fits with typical travel groups. Also I have my personal preferences for what I like to see and do on trips and what I tend to prefer skipping. As such I prefer to and mostly have traveled on my (our) own. With just family members or occasionaly close friends (for vacations)
I have in the past done reasonable extensive travels by myself for business. Once upon a time traveling (usually by plane) weekly, so as for the skill set I am generally able. I will lose my fathers ability to speak German (he was born in Germany) But otherwise I did most the planing and organizing for both domestic and overseas trips for the last 15 years or more.
Mostly I am just wondering how traveling solo goes. It seams to me that not having anyone to share with would cause the trip to lose something. I remember that when we first landed in England for the first time we where both so excited to be there that it was like we were bouncing...

And I do realize that I will have to try it for myself to see if I still will enjoy traveling.

I guess I was just looking for some sort of hope for the future. A man in a dark tunnel will squint for any sign of light at the end of the tunnel. It may seam childish and petty to be worried about travel at a time like this as in the grand scheme of things it is very minor but it sometimes just gets to the point that it all starts to add up. And I think I was just looking for something positive or at least an assurance that I would not lose yet another thing..

Once again, thank you for your kind words in this difficult time.

I really like traveling solo as I can spend my day seeing and doing exactly what I want. Eat in the restaurant I want, visit the museum I want and spend only as much time there as I feel like, go on the tour that interests me the most. Eating alone is a bit tough, but usually, have a book to read.

Have you considered Skype sessions every day where you could share your excitement with your dad? Upload lots of short videos of things you would have enjoyed seeing together? With the time difference, perhaps you could do these in the morning before starting out and again at the end of the day. Compare your expectations with the reality of what you did?

Can you do some shorter trips in N. America to some unusual sites or cities? Perhaps some with a European flair like Montreal, Quebec, St. Augustine, or with beautiful nature like the Grand Canyon, the Redwood forests, the rain forests in Wash. or swamps of Florida?

I am 74 years old and have travelled solo for many years. I love travelling alone but I am also used to being alone. There was never much family to begin with and almost everyone has now passed or is in very poor health. I have lived alone for over 40 years of my life.

I have a few wonderful friends but they all have very full lives and truthfully I like travelling alone.

I take one cruise a year, sailing Norwegian because they offer studio cabins for the solo traveller. The large ships have over 100 studio cabins with a studio lounge but I seldom make use of the lounge. Other passengers do and they get together for dinner and to take excursions, etc. More and more people travel alone these days, all kinds of people in all age groups.

People on cruises tend to be very friendly and mostly having a good time.

I am friendly but I love my space and my solitude. I find it easy to meet people and am at my best in casual relationships so it works for me.

There are travel sites for seniors and or senior solo passengers. I hate the word single because it sounds like one is trying to hook up which I am not. I do not believe that you are yet considered a senior.

Vacations to Go offers trips for "singles" and many of their guests are 50 plus. They even offer magazines for the 50 plus crowd.

I am going to Copenhagen in September to sail the Baltic on NCL's Getaway. This is my first really big international trip and this site has been so helpful. I was in Europe in the 1960's and have not been to Europe since. It is a whole new ballgame.

I get what you are asking about whether the experience loses something for not being shared. I think this is a very individual thing. I have had some travel experiences which I have enjoyed sharing with family or friends and it is great to continue to share it with them. On the other hand some of my favourite travel experiences have been things I did on my own. Personally, I have found that not having a conpanion has not detracted from it at all. But that is just my reaction. It may be different for other people. So as I said, you will only really know if you do it.

@Doug, I understand that difficult times can affect future, past and present perception and emotions. Something you enjoyed may change and you are dealing with multiple transitions. Accept it as being human and that you aren't alone. One gets used to not having someone to share travel emotions with. It doesn't need to reduce the joy of travel, however; though it may temper it. You could consider starting a journal, or if you enjoy art, sketch or paint your travel. These can be emotional rather than factual and trigger that joy when revisited.

Douglas, I read with sadness what you wrote. Concerns over your father's health have understandably raised questions about future travel. In difficult times, travel may seem too much of a luxury to pursue or enjoy. But the times will not always be so difficult, or at least, because of acceptance and adjustment, seem so difficult.

Solo travel. I have done it and likely will do it in the future. When you travel alone, you have total freedom, including the freedom to mess up badly--taking the wrong train, struggling to find a suitable hotel room or simply our way to a church or museum, and especially finding at night a place to eat or activities to stay engaged and busy. Solo travel means much planning and homework because you will be making every decision on what to do and not do.

The most difficult aspects of such travel for me are, as so many have commented, eating alone at night and avoiding a hotel room that is just too small. Because of changing circumstances in my life, I find myself too often dining alone. I hate it. At home, we can find restaurants where we become known and are welcomed. Not so on the road. As a result, when traveling in Europe, I look for restaurants that are smaller or that have bars where one can dine and more easily visit with others. Often, the conversation there can be awkward and limited, but occasionally it can be surprisingly enjoyable.

Also, I will consider a single room, but I have learned the hard way that some rooms can be so small that they are depressingly small. I am willing to dine simply and cheaply. I am less willing to compromise on hotel and hotel room because I find that picking the wrong hotel and hotel room, especially if you are alone, can really affect your stay in a destination. And again, the nights can be more challenging, so I like to have something planned in the evening and want to return at night to the hotel physically tired and ready for sleep.

But there is the positive aspect of solo travel--doing exactly what you want to do and seeing exactly what you want to see. If you have a particular interest--a period of history, a type of art, a style of architecture, a type of cooking--you can pursue it totally.

As so many have said, there are positives and negatives. Try to emphasize the positives and minimize the negatives. It is not always easy. But it can still be satisfying. Again, good luck to you and father.

What can I say that has not been mentioned above. Take advantage of the time you two have together. Both my folks have passed on. It's hard, simple as that.

I traveled with them only in within CA, solo and with the Mrs after getting married, am glad I did and should have done more of that. I never went with them to Europe. They went as part of a guided tour in 1979 along with some of their circle of friends.

Traveling alone is more a state of mind, if you're desperate enough barring any health, physical or financial reasons, you'll go alone, regardless if any friends, relatives, etc go or just by yourself. None of the friends or relatives had the financial means or the keen interest in going to Europe in my younger stays, so left without them.

Obviously, they were not as desperate to be in Europe as I was, say in France, Germany, etc. Over the course of 24 trips, only some are with the Mrs and family members. Most of them I did solo when I was single and currently as a spouse too. If the Mrs doesn't want to go, I go over alone as on these post-retirement trips since 2009. My first trip I did at 21 alone, the first big splash, adventure, being solo there for 12 weeks, and then 2 years later in 1973 for another 5 weeks as a solo traveler. You learn what to do alone, amidst the fumbling and bumbling involved, but so what?

There are indeed advantages and disadvantages to traveling solo, a trade-off but most don't matter to me. What may be important is whether these disadvantages to solo traveling are enough to serve as a mental deterrent...never have for me. True, you plan your own itinerary, you're responsible for yourself, you get lost by yourself as well find places by yourself, you get there by yourself by bus, tram, or train, see the sites alone, eat lunch or dinner alone, making to the train stations on time, etc, etc. going through the museums alone and at your own pace.

I have no problems traveling alone, being alone, emotionally, physically, etc, and am fortunate, grateful that at my age (69) I can still do the trip the way I want, prefer going over in the summer amidst the pros and cons. Keep in mind it's always a trade-off. One chooses to deal with it or not. You get used to traveling alone as you get used to talking with strangers...basically no problems

When you travel alone, every one knows it if you stay in a small hotel, B&B or Pension. They'll see you at breakfast when you come in alone.

Traveling alone doesn't mean you don't join a city guided tour to help get a better overview of a town. I've done a few times. Touring European cities as part of the guided tour, RS, Am Exp, Viking, Globius, etc, I have never done and would not choose that option.

Do your trip to London...a lovely, fascinating place, one of my top 4 favourite cities in Europe, one to which I never tire of returning. Depending on your circumstances, you have choices going in the summer.

I have only ever traveled solo and I love it--I started when I was 44 and now 10 years later looking forward to my 11th solo trip, a short little respite of 4 days in London, though I also generally make a 2 week trip in May that always includes time in Budapest plus somewhere new. I can't see myself happily joining any kind of a group or guided tour, that would really cramp my style.

Like you I have friends who can't or don't travel for various reasons, and as an only child I have always been content with my own company, really love exploring a new city on my own and being able to do exactly what I want, when I want to do it and for however long suits me. I never traveled internationally with my parents and they are now 83 and 84, relatively healthy, but I am also fearful that something will happen and if just one of them is left I cannot see myself traveling, the other would need my presence. My thoughts for you are that you are very lucky to have traveled with your dad all these years, and that you might be surprised at how much you'd enjoy a solo trip--possibly something not too long, maybe to a familiar place.

Douglas - first of all, I'm sorry to hear about your dad. I remember when my father's health went sideways. My mother had passed away years before. He was all I had left. And I was the only person to deal with all of the horrible, practical details of caring for an aging parent in very poor health. It was a learning experience - not a pleasant one. So while it may sound trite, I hope you can feel the thoughts of strength, courage and patience that I'm sending in your direction.

As far as solo travel goes - I have done it. I don't have many friends. I don't know how to find new friends. Heaven knows, I wish I did. So solo travel is a very different creature in many respects.

On the upside - you have the bathroom to yourself. You can eat whenever you like. Your time is your own.

On the downside - when you want to say, hey - look at that!!! You're limited to online friends OR - and this is a big OR - a tour group that accommodates solo travelers.

I have traveled with many tour companies, RS included. And I will say that most of them seem to attract people who WANT to meet other travelers. That doesn't mean you have to spend all your time with strangers, but if you're looking for people to share the OOOOOH, look at that moment - then this may be a good option.

I've found that RS tours (for Europe) and G Adventures/National Geographic (for outside Europe) seem to be the best of the best in companies for touring around and accepting solo travelers.

I wish you nothing but the best, and I hope you'll keep posting here. I hope there will always be people to address questions like yours here.

Oddly enough while the thought of traveling with a group of strangers is appalling to me I actually have no problem talking with a stranger short term. Even day trips are not too bad. But something about spending multiple days traveling with a group of strangers is just off putting to me.

I think my biggest concern is that no one will be there to share the experience with. Half the fun of traveling was the excitement of the other person. When you see something for the first time that you have been planning for months (or years) for the first time. In a way it is like Christmas morning. When you get more enjoyment out of seeing the other person open their gifts then you do opening your own.

In the case of our first trip to London/Paris/France that was a gift from me to my Father and his enjoyment at things like driving the Hairpin in Monaco or just wading in the water at Cannes was a large part of the fun. On our last trip we had a trip to a waterfall in Switzerland on the Rhine as a “filler” if “time allowed “. And it turned into the most enjoyable part of that segment of the trip, this was a very pleasant surprise but without anyone to share the experience with is it as fun?

I realize that no one can truly answer this for me and it IS encouraging to hear that others enjoy traveling solo.

So thanks for the encouragement

go out and learn all that you can...then come back and teach your people:)

. But something about spending multiple days traveling with a group of strangers is just off putting to me.

Well , if its an RS tour, after a couple days you are traveling with your new friends, not 'strangers'

Douglas,
Sorry for the turn in your father’s health and your travel plans. As someone who has traveled solo and, on several RS tours, I encourage you to try out a tour, a 7 day city tour, London, Paris Rome or Istanbul, for example, to see if you like it. As someone else said, you will be among friends. RS tour people are friendly and congenial.

I have become friends with some of my tour mates and I read lots of posts on the forum about others who have had similar experiences.
PS I love London, too! I could visit every year.

Traveling alone may be within your comfort zone or not at all, depending on how you decide to look at it. You have 2 basic choices if you see going solo is absolutely not in the comfort zone, ...a). either do it anyway and go al;one, plan for it, expect to be alone and all that, OR b), reject the entire notion as undesirable, not feasible, etc. regardless how you choose to rationalise or justify that choice.

I have friends and acquaintances who would never go alone, totally unthinkable, and it's not just an age thing. Too bad for them, but on the other hand, it is their, ie the individual's choice, isn't it? There were those acquaintances, relatives, (my folks among them) who questioned my wisdom in 1971 in choosing to go solo on the very first trip, especially, on the duration, ie not for 2 weeks but 3 months. I went solo anyway...a fantastic, great life experience culturally, historically, emotionally, psychologically, and linguistically too to be sure.

Douglas,

I’m sorry to hear about your father’s health issues...

It’s easy to dwell on the negatives when things aren’t going as planned, but you must find ways to continue focusing on the positives, however minute they may be.

Keep reminding yourself that you still have each other and you must cherish whatever time you spend together.

You can continue making memories
despite your father’s limitations; watch travel shows, reminisce about your travels by looking at photos or talking about your adventures. Take a drive to a beautiful place, along the coast, a river, a lake, or the mountains.
Have breakfast, or an ice cream Sunday, for dinner.

Don’t worry about traveling solo or what it will be like. When the right time comes along you’ll know.

And... As you can see, this forum is full of amazing travelers who will be happy to help you plan your trip when you’re ready.

In the meantime, cherish your time with your father, and keep making wonderful memories.

1) You have had great times with your dad, but I think the last thing he would want is for you to be cut off from travel because of him.

2) You are currently overwhelmed with the care your dad needs, but "respite care" for care-givers through churches and other non-profits is getting increasingly common nationally. Look into programs that may be available to you so you can get away without worries for at least short trips now, and maybe longer trips in the future.

3) Solo travel takes practice, so try some travel to get used to it.

4) Sharing Travel: Take a page from the RS travel blog posts. Plan one or two (a day) Two-Minute recordings about your travel days to share with your dad, either while you are gone, or when you get back. One/Two minute Facebook posts are too long for most followers, but they will be easy enough for your dad to enjoy.

I am actually going back to Sorrento and Ischia for the first time solo this October for 2 weeks. Would other people I know like this...no. Will I...absolutely. I can do whatever I want and enjoy my favorite parts of italy. I also don't mind sitting on a piazza and having a few Peroni's.

I'll offer a different view: with planning there is nothing to solo traveling in Europe, be it in the UK, Austria, Germany, Holland, Czechia, etc.

I will say one should be emotionally prepared for doing solo travel. If others can do it in Europe, why can't I, barring any health and physical issues? That's the question you need to tackle, should you have any doubts.

Bottom line is...don't short change yourself or put obstacles in front of yourself to prevent you from going over alone.

Doug, take a break from travel planning and focus on your dad and the time you have left together. My mother passed away three months ago after a short period of declining health. We had a very good relationship but I regret the things I didn't say or do those last few weeks. Spend time with your father talking about the trips you took together and hang on to your memories. Solo travel is like everything else, what you make of it. The world will be there when you're ready to experience it.

It is not so much to do with the next year or however long he has. This was more about the future.

Although as stressful as living is slowly becoming between work and dads issues it may be an idea to consider a short Solo trip to just unwind assuming I could get my siblings to help (so not likely).
4+ months into this and I can see how it is going to get stressful. Work is not particularly bad and neither is dad as he basicly only needs me to take him places like the hospital or the store and to maintain the home and any actual cooking. But it does not allow for any down time. And is only going to get harder.

Hi Douglas,

You have got amazingly good and thoughtful posts from many forum members, and I don't want to repeat any of that. Just a few thoughts:

It sounds like you will be the main caregiver to your dad. In order to be able to do this for him, you need to watch out for yourself and find ways to recharge your own batteries. So I think it does make sense for you to make travel plans for yourself. And this is very important now: make travel plans for yourself without any feelings of guilt toward your dad who will not be able to come with you.

You are considering solo travel. Well, give it a try. I am sure there are many people in this forum who can give you good advice on this. I hear from people who have done it that they find it very satisfactory because traveling alone, they get have a lot more interesting encounters with locals than if you travel with another person.

I don’t mind strangers and short term but the idea of meeting a group
of people and then spending days with them is utterly out of my
comfort zone

Thanks for being so open about this. I am not quite sure I understand what it is that gives you a hard time: the idea of spending days with a group of strangers? Or the idea of spending days with a group of people at all, even if you are well-acquainted with them? What kinds of people do you feel comfortable around at home?

We all have a certain level of personal quirks, and I guess it depends to what degree we can handle them or let them dominate our lives. At over 50, I would for instance always want a room of my own for me and my quirks. It would be unthinkable for me to share a room with a non-family member, something I had no issues with at 20. So if I were to go on a trip with a group, I'd absolutely make sure I'd get a hotel room for myself.

Also, depending on what bothers you about the idea of traveling with a group, it might be interesting to find out how much time they really spend together. This might differ greatly depending on the group and the tour. I'd want to make sure beforehand I am not stuck with the group 24/7 but have as much time to myself as I need.

Another idea that someone mentioned before: Do you have any special interests or activities that you enjoy?

I can't speak for myself, but I can for my best friend. She lost her husband a year ago to a two-year battle with brain cancer. As a 50 year old widow, she is struggling with how to move forward. With limited finances, she has traveled a little bit with friends, but has not branched off by herself. I think it depends on your personality. Do you usually go to lunch or the movies by yourself? If so, you will probably be fine traveling by yourself. If you make friends at the grocery store and Home Depot, you'll probably be fine by yourself. If you prefer someone to do those things with you, then joining a tour group would probably be a good introduction to life traveling on your own. Choose a shorter city stay and see how it goes. Unfortunately, life moves forward when we don't want it to, and our loves ones become memories sooner than we like. Know that it is okay to enjoy life even while mourning (I speak from experience).
Happy and safe travels.

Very sorry to hear of your father's illness. There are many suggestions above, so I will only add one more thought related to possible solo travel. As an introvert who enjoys groups in smaller doses and likes control of my own schedule, I've thought that if I found myself in a solo situation I might consider a Rick Steves My Way tour (mentioned by another poster above) or a Road Scholar Flex or City tour. These offer some support and group activities, but fewer group activities and more independence during the day and at meal times. You might talk to others who have tried this approach to get learn more about their experiences.

I am not sure I can explain it. I am fine talking to complete strangers and I can handle a random group for a day or two. But I get more uncomfortable around folks the longer I am with them. Obviously if I know them long enough to truly become friends that is different but trips are not long enough for that.
It is that time going from complete strangers that know nothing about you to they start to get to know you. For whatever reason that makes me very uncomfortable and there is absolutely NO point in taking a vacation that makes you uncomfortable.
So in my case there is zero chance I will take any tour with a random group of folks. By about day 4 or so I would be going nuts.

As for being alone that is not particularly an issue for me. I think the part I have trouble picturing is not having anyone to share the experience with. Yes this sounds counter to above but it is not that I don’t like people it is I don’t like getting to know new people.

But we are getting Way Way off on a tangent.

Anyway I do appreciate the various comments and advise and hopefully I can get to a point that I can begin traveling again,

But we are getting Way Way off on a tangent.

It's your thread, and you are free to go on any tangents you like. :-)

Thanks for clarifying what bothers you about traveling with a group. I see how traveling with a group of strangers and then being stuck with them for a week or two would not work for you.

So it's about sharing the experience... just with another person, or with your dad in particular? I assume that you will be greatly missing the experience of sharing it with your dad.

Have you thought of technical devices that might help you share your experience with your dad even though he cannot join you? There are all these people running around with their selfie sticks nowadays, taking pictures of themselves in front of some monument, and constantly on the phone sharing their experience with someone. I can't help smiling a bit when I see them, but why not! If it helps you and your dad make things a bit easier, it might be worth giving a try.

Maybe you could make short "test" trips over the weekend or so and see what might work for you.

Everyone's different, of course. I've had to travel solo and with my wife. For me travelling solo isn't much fun as for me sharing the experiences is most of the fun. On my own walking down the Champs-Elysees is almost depressing, in that I see something of interest and turn to remark about it, and Mary's not there, so I am alone with my thoughts.

Based on what you've said it seems your primary reluctance is not having your Dad to share the "oh wow look at that" moments. Do you know how your Dad feels about you traveling without him. I wouldn't blame him if he kind of resented it, but if he's the type who would want you to continue having the experiences, then perhaps you can find a way to share them with him. Get a phone plan that has unlimited texting - including videos and photos. Take lots of pictures and constantly text them to him. He can live vicariously and you'll have someone to (almost) share things with. Every night send him a long email detailing what you did. Makes a great journal for you as well. Essentially a blog but just for your dad.

Many of the previous posts have told you how great solo travel can be so I won't repeat all that. But as someone who travels close to fifty percent of the time solo I will tell you that while I love traveling with my husband, with my adult daughter, with my friends - I love the solo part just as much.

Hello Douglas - I'm sorry to hear that your travel buddy is now experiencing poor health. And, you have had lots of great posts from fellow travelers. If you will allow me, I'd like to also comment. I was married to my travel buddy who one day decided he no longer wanted to be married to me. I lost my confidence in many things after this but one day decided that if life was going to suck, I'd at least plan to go places and see the world before I die. Now, I'm not wealthy by any means - so my plan was to try and go every 2 years to Europe or other exotic destinations! I found a friend to go with me on the first excursion and it was nice to have someone to travel with. But, her budget was even more limited than mine and we have not traveled together since (other then a weekend getaway close to home). So, I saved up and went on a Rick Steves tour in 2011 and had a fantastic time. I'm more introverted but will talk to people and the tour gave me a nice mix of having people to talk to but also time by myself. I also found that this gave me confidence to travel more on more own. But, then I changed jobs and had to have hip replacement so wasn't able to go again until 2016. For this trip, I invited my sister to go with me. Long story short, she abandoned any and all plans to travel with me and I was already set to go to Scotland, Ireland and Iceland. So, I went to Scotland by myself, took the 8 day RS Ireland tour and did a 2-day stopover to Iceland by myself. I was anxious, upset, excited, confused, happy, etc. Obviously, many emotions surrounded this trip. But, it quickly became the best trip I had ever done. Of course, I have become much more used to being alone since my divorce, too. So, needing to have someone to talk to every day was not too difficult. I journal every night which I think helps me feel like I'm talking to someone about the experiences of the day. I also noticed that people tended to talk to me more as a single without me having to be outgoing. I was on my own for 9 days in Scotland and even rented a car and drove around on my own (with help from a GPS). By the way, that was for my 55th birthday! My next trip, I planned it to be entirely solo and I went to Switzerland and Germany for 2 weeks in October 2018. I brushed up on my German which really means I don't know German - but I tried. Again, people seemed open to talking to me and that confidence to be on my own seemed to double. I did do a lot of research ahead of time to help me prepare for the unknowns (like understanding the train system) which also helps with confidence. I ended up meeting several very lovely people who were German or Swiss and have even been invited to visit one couple in Germany in the future. It was really even better than my Scotland trip - and it's tough to top Scotland in my book! So, with all this, I'm just saying - you don't have to go every year and may have some bigger time gaps for various reasons (budget, health, family, etc). But, don't throw in the towel. Use the forum to dream, to plan - even if it might be 5 years before you go. And, take more local trips - maybe your father can go with you somewhere for the day. I love exploring close to home - sometimes just going for a drive to find roads I haven't driven before. I also live only 1 hour from the Oregon coast - so that's a lovely day trip. Maybe you have something similar close to you (lakes, mountains, etc). Every trip does not have to be a big exotic excursion - life itself is a destination, or so I've heard! You'll find your way back to traveling when you are ready - just feed your travel soul something small from time to time until you are ready for that first, big solo adventure. Believe me, it will be something you can't even imagine right now, but something wonderful.

Connie, what a great post about your own journey and talking to your journal was a great idea.