What to wear to a wedding in France (edit: with report)

I'd be inclined to just ask your exchange student for advice.

Thanks Norma, as a last resort I will. He's not very fashion conscious. His fiancé will be wearing colorful African style clothing. I may ask her, again as a last resort. She has a nice fashion flare but must be very busy with wedding plans.

Mona, we came across a summer wedding in Beaune, you can see from pics that those in the wedding party were all done up in a theme complete with costumes, but that several of the attendees are fairly casually dressed. There's a young man in khakis, shirt with no tie, and a jacket; and a woman with a casual dress on, no scarf.

https://thecedarchest.smugmug.com/Paris-With-a-Stop-in-Beaune-20/i-nCNPLTH/A

We have come across a few weddings in France -- men usually wear a jacket just as they usually do in the US. sometimes they wear a tie and sometimes not but I would not chance it without a jacket unless you had reasonable intelligence that this was not what people are likely to wear to this particular wedding.

If she is wearing some traditional African style wedding clothing I have a feeling anything that is stylish would be appropriate. However, if it were me, I would find the most amazing, but understated romantic style dress that I could. Probably with a shawl or little shrug... after all, how often do you get to go to a wedding in one of the most stylish countries in the world???

Thanks for your special insight and observations. I think we may be shopping for a summer weight (linen?) sports coat soon. @ Dave, my husband especially liked the costume themed wedding pictures! I think I will need to message the bride too at some point. I know we, there are 4 of us traveling together from the US for this wedding, will dress a little differently no matter what we do. I don't think it will matter as we're just there to celebrate a wedding with these two families. It's not about us...

I don't want to hijack the OP's question, but would men rent formal clothes for a French wedding as they might in the US? I know this isn't helpful to the question of what women wear...

My father's advice was "its always better to be overdressed than underdressed. "

For a wedding most anywhere in the world, a man should at least walk in with a jacket. After a while it can come off.

Well it's been 2 months since I messaged the groom and he replied yesterday. He said his father would wear the same suit to all 3 events, civil, religious and dinner but might take an extra shirt along because it would probably be very hot. He sent 2 pictures of a wedding he attended last year to show us what people wore to that summer wedding near Toulouse. I think we have a better idea now. One thing that surprised me though were the number of women with big fancy hats at the religious ceremony. It looked more like a British Easter service! I KNOW I won't have room in my carry on bag for such a hat nor will I be wearing one on the plane. Dommage ;-)

If you will be staying in a town with an open-air market, or even a small department store, you can go buy a straw hat for not much money. You can also buy an inexpensive scarf to tie around it, if you think it's necessary, then "forget" to take it when you leave the reception. Headcoverings for women are an important part of African celebrations.

Your sundress will be fine, with a cover-up.
Take the advice of "woinparis" for your husband.

My French niece was married at a chateau in the Loire a few years ago. Guests were from all over France and Europe. No one wore a hat. It would have been inconsiderate in the small chapel. However, no African culture was involved, so that wasn't a consideration. Dress was dark suits and ties for the men, nice dresses for the women, but not cocktail dresses. The civil ceremony was Friday, the wedding Saturday afternoon, and the dancing went on till 4:00 a.m., though we tucked in at 2.

We recently observed families leaving the cathedral in Toulouse after a communion ceremony. Women were not wearing hats.

Thanks for the added hat insights. My sister in law and I both have nice, similar Scala "straw" hats that are packable so I think we might tuck these in for the trip and then decide once we get to Toulouse if they'd be nice to wear or not. I like the idea of dressing them up with a colorful scarf or band. Thanks observant and encouraging people!

I recently bought my husband a white linen suit - best purchase ever. So flexible - the white jacket can be worn with black pants for a really dressy look or a comfy tropical shirt for a casual look. I also picked a pair of Kenneth Cole white shoes with a sports type sole - he can walk all day in them.

Just that you came as far as you did will negate whatever you are wearing. I always travel with a sport coat (black, unlined, cotton) because it'll dress up any outfit. It's probably gonna be really hot in August that far South.

The wedding weekend has happened and I thought I'd give a quick impression while its fresh on my mind.

There were actually 4 events last weekend but we were only invited to the 3 that we knew about before we left. There was an all day event between the bride and groom's immediate families the day before the invitation events. They held a Congolese ceremony that we heard all about and saw videos. The bride's female relatives all had custom dresses made and sent from the DRC for the events. There were special foods, music and the all important gifts to the bride's family.

On Saturday there were 3 events for about 200 family and friends in the groom's town. The first was a greeting at the Marie with a civil ceremony in the middle of the afternoon. As soon as that was finished we all walked into the small beautiful Catholic Church next door where the exuberant religious ceremony took place. There was an African choir that rocked the small church. The last event was the reception at a beautiful, historical event center in a nearby town. It started at 7 PM and we had to leave at 1 AM (two courses before the end and no dancing for us) to get back to Toulouse for our 5 AM taxi to the airport for our next destination. What were we thinking! We had no idea a wedding would last so long...

Ok the thing that started this whole question, what would people be wearing??? The temperature was 95° in the afternoon. The women mostly wore knee length dresses, a few with longer dresses and lots of colorful Congolese dresses (no two were alike!). Of the non-Congolese dresses, they varied from floral patterns, solid light or dark colors and a few sequins. Only the groom's mother and one other woman wore a hat. The men's dress was more unpredictable. I'd say about 1/2 of them wore suits or sports coats and ties. Many of the 20-30 year old guys were quite the fashion statements including one guy with a cute topknot and tight white pants that ended 6" up from his ankles. The most prominent color for men, who weren't making a unique fashion statement, was gray.

I won't even start in on the conversations we had over the course of 3 days there with family and friends in our nonexistent (high school) French. Let's just say it was lively and fun and fortunately there was usually someone around if we got really tangled up trying to converse.

We just tried to go with the flow and people kind of looked out for us because we didn't know what was going on much of the time but we had a great time.

Very interesting. Thank you Mona. But what did YOU wear? And did your husband buy a sports jacket after all these years in California?

@ Emma and Bets. I wore a below the knee cool sundess with a little jacket. I had a simple large necklace and strappy red sandals. I watched what people were wearing as they gathered at the Marie and decided to not wear my hat which was in the car. I think I kind of blended in to this very large and diverse group.

My husband was more in style because he wore dark gray pants and a light gray sports coat and dark tie. 90% of the men who showed up at the first event of the afternoon in 90°+ heat took their jackets off within 5 minutes and never put them on again. Also my husband thought ahead and took a jacket that he was no longer wearing at home so he left it behind, with a note attached, as we left the hotel the next morning. Always trying to pack a little lighter.

All in all, I think we did alright and I thank many people here on the forum for their insight!

Thanks for the report -
I guess it depends on the community, but when I've attended church or weddings in African communities in France, women wore hats or elaborately-wrapped "tignons" (head scarves).
Glad you were smart enough to do what others did, since it made you "invisible" and you could enjoy yourselves much more.
A French wedding is not for the faint of heart - some last several days, between the official civil ceremony, the church wedding, and finally the reception which could be located anywhere.
Glad you had fun!

@ chexbres. In looking over the pictures again last night I did notice that two of the bride's many female relatives wore different head wraps that matched the fabric of their dresses.