Use your words

Actually, it's more usual to say "bonne journée" (or "bonne soirée" after 6 or so) than "au revoir" when leaving a store, unless you are a regular customer of the store, because "au revoir" implies that you will see them again.

Indeed Aimee. It's always important, particularly in a space like you describe, to acknowledge the presence of others. Or in a restaurant with few diners, or adjoining tables lined up, when arriving and leaving. A small bonjour, or nod of the head, but without intruding, doesn't have to be a big deal, just an acknowledgement of shared space.

Amen. The only negative interactions I've had with French people have been when I failed to say bonjour before asking a question or starting a conversation. It's happened just a few times, less often as I gradually learn better manners.

Absolutely Aimee. 😐

Don't worry Dick. It still happens to me from time to time.

The first time my husband & I were going to be in France, I asked a coworker in the US who had lived in Paris to have lunch with me at work. I asked him what to do or say to be respectful to the people I would meet in France.

He shared the info you mentioned to always greet & say good-bye in French. But “the why” always stuck with me to help me remember. In the US, we think of shops as being public space. In France, it’s a shop owner’s place no matter how large. So he told me to equate it to walking into someone’s home. I certainly wouldn’t walk in and just start touching stuff in their home as if it was a public space! I would have a short conversation greeting before going into someone’s home, so the French greeting, looking immediately to the shop owner or clerk is the same idea. I’m acknowledging that this is their space that I have been allowed to enter.

By the way, I have found the French people I’ve encountered to be very cordial and extremely helpful to me the couple of times I needed directions or info.

This has nothing to do with words, but if you really want to stand out as a tourist, which we all do anyway, stand on the left side of an escalator. No Parisian, of any social class, would ever park himself on the left side of any escalator. Always leave it open for those wanting to walk past.

what's the name of the magazine?

we were lucky to spend time with our host at an agriturismo in Italy who gave me a word of the day every morning - it was great. On another trip "barge and bike" I happened to say buon giorno when I came back on the boat and was corrected to say buon pomeriggo - it became a regular joke between the captain and I would not let me rack my bike until I said it correctly each day. I think using a few words is a good thing ... they know you are not local and I have never had a bad experience at least trying.

Thanks Jean for a very helpful explanation. I've never considered the "why". I know its the custom in Italy as well, and am wondering if there's any country in Europe where it's not.

To answer the question, it's a big glossy mag that comes out 6 times a year called My French Country Home (Authentic French Living).

I see they also do tours.

Can you picture the opposite scenario: a French spouse who walks into stores and doctors offices in the US and announces hello to everyone. The same has happened leaving when the spouse turns and says goodbye to anyone around.

Can you picture the opposite scenario: a French spouse who walks into stores and doctors offices in the US and announces hello to everyone.

After several business trips to France, I turned that on its head at a pre-proposal meeting in the U.S. among several consultants hoping to land a substantial project for a very large American company. When my co-worker and I entered the waiting room, there already were about five other consultant teams cooling their heels waiting for the prospective client to show up. Typically, in those situations, you hold your cards close to your chest and, eyes darting around the room, try to see if you recognize any of the competition.

Throwing caution to the wind, I went around to each person, shook their hand, and introduced myself. It freaked them out. Not sure it made any difference in the end, but it definitely knocked them off their perches a bit.

I'll just add: one of the weirder experiences I had in France after moving here was when I got on the elevator in my firm's office building to go down to the street level at lunch time. Getting on the already crowded elevator, it was bonjour, bonjour, bonjour, and so on all the way around. Then, when reaching the ground floor, as people went through the door it was bon appétit, bon appétit, bon appétit and so on all the way around.

I mean, I understand the custom, but it gets a bit ridiculous sometimes.

I make it a point to do this here at home as well. I acknowledge the self-checkout monitor at the grocery store, the person at the deli counter, store owners, etc. They should not be treated like nameless, faceless robots. When on a bus tour, I also greet the bus driver in their native language each morning. They are not extensions of a steering wheel but human beings and what a lonely, tiring job that must be. Treat them with kindness. I love that RS includes the bus drivers in our group meals.

My DH and I took a brief, pre-Christmas get away to Cannon Beach, OR. We go pretty regularly but this time I noticed that everyone acknowledged each other. Even if it was just a smile and a nod. I have since decided to do the same thing where I live. Doesn't have to be a big deal. Just a smile and a nod to recognize another human being. I guess that's not using my words but hopefully I'm still conveying a positive message. And yes, you can smile with your eyes when wearing a mask. ;-)