Addressing others in France

No need to worry about this.

When addressing someone, simply say "Bonjour (or "au revoir", or "bonne nuit"). There's no need to add "Monsieur , Madame or Mademoiselle. In most cases, this would even sound awkward and too formal.

The only contexts where this might be justified and a sign of politeness are if you are addressing an elderly person or a very important person.

The important thing is to say "bonjour" when you enter a place where there are other people.
What may seem strange is that in an "unwritten protocol," these other people aren't required to respond by saying hello as well.

And "merci, bonne journée' when you leave the bakery where you bought your croissants.

C.M. You are way overthinking this. There is no need to use any of three salutations that you list. Of course, your waiter or a clerk or the person at the front desk may use whichever of the salutation is appropriate but that has no bearing on what you say upon initially greeting them. You already know the importance of saying bonjour and that is really all you need.

Mademoiselle is simply not used for anyone but a child -- so it is more polite to use Monsieur and Madame with your greeting of any adult man or woman and not necessary with young people and you don't need to use it with adults.

Although it sounds a little formal by American standards, you do indeed greet everyone as Madame or Monsieur. (I'd only use Mademoiselle for girls no older than their teens. I'm actually not sure what you'd call teen boys, TBH)

Greet every person you come across in the service industry with these terms, while it may sound overly formal to us, it is always used in France regardless of whether the person is older or younger than you are. And if you've studied French, you probably know to use the more polite "vous" with any adult you don't know.

For example, in a restaurant to get the server's attention you'd say, "Madame, encore un café, s'il vous plaît" or "Monsieur, l'addition s'il vous plaît."

I was told the same by a French gentleman, Stella.

Although it sounds a little formal by American standards, you do
indeed greet everyone as Madame or Monsieur.

No, it's very unusual to say Madame or Monsieur in everyday life. It's very academic French from at least fifty years ago.

Or maybe it's French for French language students ?

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This is an interesting question. I realize that I haven't usually thought about whether I should use monsieur/madame or not. It just seems to come out of my mouth on a few rare occasions automatically, but not very often. When I try to recall the instances, I think it might have been when I wanted to get the attention of one person among others. Generally I don't use the honorific, but I do know that sometimes it just seems right. Next time I am in France I'll try to pay more attention to when the terms slip out in my speech.

For reference, I am not a native speaker, but 4 years in high school and a college minor, plus a native-speaker husband with the attendant relatives in France, have given me a bit of experience in everyday conversations. My ear has become accustomed to the Breton and Provencal accents and slang, and I have entertained the family with my many mistakes, especially with false cognates. I guess all those times sharing meals and sitting around the table for hours, sipping digestifs, has allowed some bits of native-speaker usage to slip into my French. Still, the question of "monsieur/madame" is on my radar now. I anticipate a lively conversation about this with the family when next we are gathered around the dinner table. If there are eight people, there will be eight opinions! I can't wait! Thanks for bringing this up, C.M.!

No, it's very unusual to say Madame or Monsieur in everyday life. It's
very academic French from at least fifty years ago.

Or maybe it's French for French language students ?

I've spent a year in France, and everywhere I've gone I've been addressed as Madame, and I address others accordingly. It is not at ALL unusual. Buying a ticket in the train station? Bonjour, Madame....etc. etc. Asking directions from someone on the street? Bonjour, Monsieur....etc. etc. The server brings my drink in the restaurant? Merci, Madame...etc, etc.

I have friends who are born and raised in Paris and ALWAYS use this form of address.

I don't know where you live but everywhere I've been in France it is the same thing - you address people in the service industry as Madame and Monsieur.

Sorry StellaB. JoLui is correct. We rarely tack on Monsieur or Madame anymore. It does happen but it’s something we feel due to the circumstances. However, our bonjours are emphatic, perhaps to fill the gap of the now rarely used Monsieur or Madame. Mademoiselle has been banished legally, at least on documents, but it’s used more endearingly; I’ll refer to my granddaughter as mademoiselle. There’s no distinct term for a young man. Jeune homme is used jokingly. The times have changed.
My one year in France has turned into cinquante-deux.
Jolui has lived in France his whole life.

Sorry, I'm only French, born in Paris, worked for decades in the service industry, and still live in France, where I meet people every day.

99 times out of 100, they say bonjour and I say bonjour to them without adding "monsieur" or "madame." The few English-speaking expats I know who live here have learned over the years that they don't need to do so.

Since I live in a tourist area, the remaining 1% are often foreign tourists trying to practice decent French.

But since I don't want to argue endlessly, I suppose Elizabeth and I live in a parallel world. :)

It sounds as if there may be some regional variations at play here.

In Normandie, it's very common to be greeted, upon entering a shop or restaurant, with "Bonjour" followed by "Monsieur" and/or "Madame". When waiting at the doctor's office, when a new person comes into the room it's very common to hear the person entering say "Mesdames, Messieurs", spoken quietly, with those already waiting responding with either a simple "Bonjour" or "Bonjour Monsieur/Madame."

Not at all overly formal or out of date. In fact, it's so common that when I forget and just say "Bonjour" and receive back in response a "Bonjour Monsieur" I kind of kick myself for leaving off the polite term.

Come to think of it, when I lived in a small town in Bourgogne it was much the same.

And I agree with others commenting above -- I don't believe I've ever heard a French person use "Mademoiselle." Just use "Madame" for a young woman and "Monsieur" for a young man.

For informal male interaction, try 'Mec' or try shortening garçon to 'gars'

Just as in informal English you might call me big guy b/c I am short, you might call a thin Frenchman 'gros'

"C'est un mec bien" is basically 'he's an ok dude'

Meuf is the female equivalent of Mec

"Salut, mec!" (Hi, dude!)

"Bonjour, monsieur." (Hello, sir/gentleman)

For formal, or perhaps too formal, greeting, try these variations:

"Enchanté(e) de faire votre connaissance"

"Ravi(e) de faire votre connaissance"

"Je suis très heureux(/euse) de faire votre connaissance"

More here:

https://lingvist.com/course/learn-french-online/resources/french-greetings/

I suspect there's a north/south divide on this.

When greeting shop staff etc (or people you're not on personal terms with), in the Loire Valley it's definitely "Bonjour Madame/Monsieur". Even if you use the same boulangerie every day. If there are other clients in the shop you may get away with just "Bonjour".

If you're on the street the "Bonjour Madame/Monsieur" is preferable. The response will be just "Monsieur", "Madame", or if you're a couple, "m'sur-dame". Except if it's a school group, in which case you wait for the lead child to say "bonjour", in which case you respond with a string of "bonjour"s.

If you're greeting people you know on a personal level you can use the greeting you feel comfortable with.

There's no difference between the south and the north (apart from the accent).

As you'll see in the link mentioned by avirosemail, it's never specified to add Monsieur or Madame after bonjour.

Other links for "beginners" will confirm this:

https://apprendre.tv5monde.com/fr/aides/vocabulaire-saluer-prendre-conge-0

https://www.busuu.com/en/french/greetings

https://www.francaisauthentique.com/salutations-en-francais/

I was talking about it this morning with some English friends who have lived in France for over 30 years (one of whom teaches French to English people). Learning that you should add monsieur and madame made them laugh.

JoLui. I've only been living in this village for 16 years, so I can only report my daily interactions and observations. For instance - the milk lady has just called, she greeted me with bonjour monsieur, even though she has been selling us milk door to door since we moved here. She also greets my wife with "Bonjour Madame" even though they worked through lockdown together.

I'll try being perceived as rude by the locals, see how it goes.

I agree with Simon and Bob. My experience is the same as Bob's, in Normandy and the Mayenne where we spend the most time.

We'll encounter a couple walking toward us along the towpath; we say Bonjour and they return Bonjour m'sieur/dame. Like Bob, I feel like I've been too casual.

At the bakery, our observations are that you don't necessarily greet anyone when you join the line unless you know them (though I often hear people joining the line behind me saying m'sieurs/dames without a bonjour). But when you do get to the head of the line you say Bonjour madame to the clerk , not just Bonjour. And as you leave, Merci, au revoir, bonne journee, etc.

So I think it might be a regional thing, or maybe older people retain the formalities. I like it.

Sorry StellaB. JoLui is correct. We rarely tack on Monsieur or Madame
anymore. It does happen but it’s something we feel due to the
circumstances.

Well you can be "correct" all day long, but it still doesn't change the fact that this is what I hear when I'm in France. It's not what just what I say, but what I hear (because clearly I respond to how people are addressing ME.)

I recently went on a trip to Quebec with a Parisienne and she unfailingly addressed everyone there with Madame/Monsieur even though that might not be as common in Canada. So I'll drop her an email later and tell her she is "incorrect" because no one uses that form of address anymore. I'm sure she will be glad to know since she lives in Paris and probably just didn't get the memo. LOL

I give up! There are too many specialists in everyday French around here... LOL.

If you want to experiment, go to a shop, bakery or bistro, for example. Stay there for an hour or two and listen to how the French people greet each other when they enter.

Or spend some time at a market in the morning.

I give up! There are too many specialists in everyday French around
here... LOL.

If you want to experiment, go to a shop, bakery or bistro, for
example. Stay there for an hour or two and listen to how the French
people greet each other when they enter.

Okay, I will. Unless it has completely changed since the last time I was there (a little over a year ago when I was in Nice) everyone addressed me as "Madame" everywhere I went and I heard people using those forms of address to others as well. When I go back in September, I'll be sure and pay attention and see what people are saying.

A much older neighbor crossed my path this morning. Given her gravitas, I said bonjour madame. She replied bonjour. Some shop keepers and service people add madame, others don’t. Employees at large stores are trained to add it. I really haven’t noticed much difference up north. Personnel may say madame, but the important thing is to say bonjour. Just because the other greeted you with Monsieur or madame tacked on, your bonjour all alone is adequate. Simon, yes please try it and tell us.

On the other hand, my French husband had the habit of greeting everyone in the doctor’s office or in a shop, but in the US, where they looked at him like he was a crazy man.

Avi, please dump that mec and meuf stuff. I don’t know where you dug it up. It’s like saying guy, buddy and favorite squeeze and not a form of address in 2025. My kids used it as teens. The chart is excellent, however.

When I was in Paris in February, I didn't hear "Madame" or "Monsieur." But then, like most places, just listen and mimic what others do. The regional bit reminds me of the regional differences in the US, south versus west coast. When I visited the south years ago, "ma'am" was used. The first time I heard it, I thought they were mocking me. Not a thing where I grew up in the west.

I do have a question that is a bit related. How are double greetings viewed? I bit of a habit I got into when in Portugal, greeting in the local language, followed up with good morning, well to be honest, most of the time it went, good morning and then Bonjour. Habits are hard to break. I'm just used to greeting in my own language and it does show that I am an English speaker. I did frequently run across individuals speaking to me in French, when I did not understand and I would need to let them know. Or is it about saying Bonjour or just greeting regardless of language? Living in the Seattle area which is a port city, greeting and thank you is important, the language used, not really.

Yes. In my brief trip to Paris (just before Covid) I was desperately trying to match what other people were doing in the few shops I'd try. I was frustrated with how much it varied from place to place. :-)

When I visited the south years ago, "ma'am" was used. The first time I
heard it, I thought they were mocking me.

I remember visiting Boston years ago when my sons were kids. They responded to a server in a restaurant by saying, "Yes ma'am" and she burst out laughing because she thought they were being facetious. But that is how we talk even to this day - if a cashier in the grocery store says "Do you want a receipt?" I answer, "Yes, ma'am." Or when a man holds a door for me entering a restaurant (yes, we do that here in the South!) I say, "thank you, sir!"

So maybe in France I "hear" what I am used to hearing, which is the French equivalent of "ma'am" and "sir" where I come from.