First of all, your screen name is hilarious. Second, we’re in Dubrovnik now and finishing up our 12-day Croatia adventure this week, so everything’s fresh in our minds. FYI, it’s amazing! We flew into Pula, drove straight to Plitvice, spent the night, walked the lakes the next day, then drove to Split, two full days in Split then 6 in Dubrovnik, then headed back north tomorrow. All to say, I think if you want to see the highlights (check all the boxes, so to speak), your itinerary outline above is fine. I’d lean more toward a 60/40 or even 70/30 split in favor of Dubrovnik. I will tell you that we just spent all day yesterday on a full day wine and food tour with Sasha from Dvino and it was THE highlight of our trip so far. FrEsh oysters in Ston, fabulous food and wines from regional vineyards, etc). BUT that sort of local, insiders’ look at the amazing food and wine culture of this region isn’t on most checklists. I think you can walk the city walls, ride the cable car in one day just fine. Even take a half day to walk Lokrum Island). But part of the charm is strollllliiinnng sloooowwwwwlllllyyy through the streets, people watching, (more locals than we expected) and just relaxing, at least part of the time. And kind of the same advice for Split. You can see the highlights in one day but build in some time for just relaxing and taking it all in. And I would say figure out how to do Plitvice. Yes, it will be crowded in August but it’s an amazing natural wonder I don’t think you should miss. My opinion.
So, my advice: build in a full day food/wine trip with Sasha (or other recommended) in Dubrovnik and build in a day trip to Plitvice from Split.
And allow a bit of breathing room in Dubrovnik and Split (Stradun stroll, Riva stroll). And Rick Steves food recs are pretty spot on for both cities.
Hope that was helpful.