Where should I go next

Mike, you certainly have caught the travel bug! Barely done with one trip and planning the next. I like it.

There is an option you might consider for those places that you have some concerns about, and that is to join a tour. You might just try one to see if you like it or not. It might even make your Mom feel better……

On a slightly different note…. One of the most impressive responses to the aftermath of a genocide that I have seen is the country of Rwanda. They took the approach of admission of guilt followed by reconciliation. They remember the genocide publicly in order to assure that it does not happen again. This has allowed them to start again,

I loved my trip to Ecuador that included Quito, Cuenca and the Galápagos Islands. Read up on these cities and see if you’d like them. The wildlife on the islands is just amazing.

Mike, I remember your post about going to Spain weeks ago. It reminded me of when I told my mom I was going to Thailand alone. She didn’t like it, but she got over it. I think that your mom just doesn’t want to let you grow up. I wonder how she would feel about you going on a trip to Israel? The country is an archaeology museum in situ, there are great art museums ( particularly in Tel Aviv) and there are great beaches! Maybe you could even stop by Spain working your way back to the US!
You can’t live your life in fear. And, at some point, your mom will begin to see you as a man and not the little boy she doesn’t want to grow up.
Celebrate Mother’s Day with her this weekend and then get to your next destination!
Carpe Diem!

Where do you want to go?

If you have only been to Chicago as a child, you should go again, in addition to any other place you choose. Museums: Art Institute, Science and Industry, Oriental Institute (on the U. Of Chicago campus, housing artifacts from near east excavations).* The architectural tours are also terrific. Since you are in Detroit, it’s not a major schlep, unlike Europe.
Re Germany: There have been major efforts made to educate Germans about their history. Unlike some other places, where teaching about the iniquities committed in the past is forbidden, Germans have owned their past. Berlin is a treasure house of art and history museums.

*Native Chicagoan, but left in 1960, so information may incomplete.

Is there any way it could be safe to travel solo to Mexico?

1) Yes, Mike and I am living evidence having been to Mexico City twice this year.
2) But if you really want to be comfortable why not hire an amateur guide; I can recommend a good one for under $100 a day.
3) Basically locals that can handle the language, transportation, knows where things are, can tell you about life in the city, recommend restaurants and bars (if you drink)
4) I know an excellent young lady if you are interested; PM me
5) Its really a wonderful place, and I will be back again sometime this year (just too interesting and cheap not to).

Sorry, but your mum is selfish. She needs to get over herself. Just go where you want to go, not what we suggest. She will come round.

Germany is overall safer than your home country... Since you've been to the Netherlands already, I am sure that you will manage it perfectly!

I know this will trigger your mom even more, but if you want a complete picture of western civilization through history, you need to go to Istanbul and take a guided tour to Troy and Ephesus.

You should go wherever it most interests you at the moment. I would learn some basic Spanish phrases before going to Mexico City, and expect that fewer people will speak English than well-touristed places in Europe. Of course you can see Mexico and Los Angeles safely (and yes, you can get stuck in traffic in LA, but so what?). I wouldn't write off Germany either, or France. At some point, you should definitely see California (southern, northern, Central Valley, etc) - it's one of the most beautiful states in the country, and the scenery, weather, food and cultural attractions are immense. I would make your decision without being swayed by your Mom's phobias and prejudices.

Okay, it is a bit much to pass judgement in this poor mother when all we really know is one version of the story from an individual clearly in a parent-adult child relationship that is not typical.

Let’s see if we can build up Mike without the need to attack his mother. Let’s support him in a positive manner to keep exploring and expanding his horizons.

You could try one of the Scandinavian countries. For places possibly at the edge of your comfort zone, we enjoyed Buenos Aires; Santiago, Chile; Quito, Ecuador; and Lima, Cusco, and Machu Picchu, Peru. Decades ago I enjoyed Guatemala City. For any place in S. America ensure you check on the current situation on the ground. Each has had some issues in the past year.

I agree with Jennifer - go to wherever interests you. But one benefit of the years we couldn’t travel to Europe is that many people (including me) looked around and found all the great places to see in the U.S. So no wrong answers here. It’s true that there are so many great places, here or in Europe or elsewhere, to see that sometimes I want to go to all of them and it’s hard to decide! Maybe you will want to think in terms of alternating a U.S. trip with a European trip. New York does seem like it would be a good match with your interests. Nashville maybe not as much. 🤣 San Francisco? Quebec? And Washington, D.C. as an adult is definitely on MY list.

I also think your mom is just your mom and she is going to worry about you no matter where you choose. I wouldn’t expect that to change.

I spent a summer in Yale's summer school of art in Norfolk CT. We had a day trip to the The Sterling and Francine Clark Art Institute, which is now commonly referred to as the Clark. You'll find some good impressionist examples there.

I'd recommend the Barnes Foundation in Philadelphia PA as it's one of the world's greatest collections of impressionist, post-impressionist, and modern paintings. It routinely receives criticisms for it's visitor policies but it warrants the effort. Many years ago I viewed a huge Cezanne retrospective at the Philadelphia Museum of Art and discovered that it's a worthwhile visit.

I agree with the museums Tom_MN mentioned. We've got treasures to discover in the US.

The Toledo museum is often a surprise to people who aren't aware of the wealth generated by the glass industry. They have a great glass exhibit at the museum. The Toledo Zoo is often ranked near Detroit's Zoo.

Pittsburgh's got great museums - the Carnegie Museum of Art, the National Aviary, the Andy Warhol museum and don't miss the Frick! I love how Pittsburgh's zoo takes advantage of the hilly western PA terrain.

Chicago's Institute of Art is worthy of many return visits.

The Cleveland Institute of Art may be a surprise to people as well.

Washington DC of course provides so many options - I've spent days in the art museums there as well the many others. For something different, try the Museum of the Shenandoah Valley in Winchester VA. It was relatively new when we visited a few years back and we enjoyed it.

For something really different try staying onsite at Mammoth Cave National Park for a few days. The evening outdoor lectures by park personnel were really a good experience. We did contract poison ivy while out hiking so there's that risk as well as snakes.

The Billings Farm and Museum in Vermont is a great way to learn about turn of the century farming and dairy of a rather wealthy family. This would be particularly good for families.

For "remains from defunct civilizations," I would recommend:
[1] Peru, which you cited. Yes, there were the Incas of course, but also the Chachapoyans, the Mochicans, the Nazca, the Huari, the Chumu, and others. [2] The Capitol and Supreme Court buildings in Washington DC.

How about Poland? Your mom will hate the proximity to Ukraine but it was a great trip for me. Gdansk is a fun, smaller town if you stay in the center and Malbork castle is a train ride away. The architecture is different than anything I had seen, not having been to Northern Europe before. Then Warsaw with the Polin museum. Even if you’re not religious, it’s still and interesting account of Jewish history in Poland. And I thought the art was interesting , especially the early 20th century polish artists since they weren’t covered in art history class. Lots of people speak English so communication isn’t a problem. It would be easier than than Mexico, however…

Mexico City is great for art and culture! Plenty of museums to keep you busy for a month. Trans or buses take you to Coyoacan and San Angel for Frida and Diego but it helps to know Spanish. Or pay for a taxi that your hotel can arrange. Day tour to Teotihuacan. Or the various museums (art and archeology) in Chapultepec Park might be enough for you., and there is a archeological site near the zocalo (main square). I’m a single woman with decent Spanish and I had no problems. There are areas to avoid as in any city but I found it a great city to walk in. Then again, if you’re concerned about LA, maybe you want to start smaller. Check out Guadalajara.

In LA you will get stuck in traffic. That’s part of the charm of LA. You’ll have a story to tell your mother about how it took you two hours to get to the Getty and three to get back. But at least you were safely protected in a car!

In the US, you should consider Boston-it has two major art museums and important historical sights.

Thanks for your input.

I am thinking of going to Los Angeles and then maybe at a later date, to Mexico City and possibly somewhere else in Mexico if time.

[I grew up with a mother who is highly anxious and a father who is anxious, volatile, eccentric, and mentally disturbed. My mom has a phobia of riding in a plane; she has never taken a plane flight; she grew up in the ghetto in the city of Detroit; she is suspicious that traveling (alone) to big cities is unsafe. I don't know why I am not afraid of riding in a plane or traveling solo. I consciously don't want to risk my mom being right about travel to any specific place being dangerous. My mother's top fears switched to Coronavirus-2019 disease after the pandemic started. She is afraid my dad or me or somebody will spread the virus to her and then she is afraid if this happens she will end up in the hospital for weeks like the time she broke her collarbone and then it was healing and then the place it broke got a bacterial infection and she was in the hospital for 6 weeks and had multiple surgeries to drain out fluid and so on. Then to her Europe became more dangerous after Adolf (I mean Vladimir) Putin started his invasion of Ukraine; my mom reads too many historical novels about World war II and the holocaust. She thinks I might go to Europe and then somehow due to the war I might have to leave in a hurry but I will get stuck in Europe or blocked from leaving like what the nazis did to the Jews... My dad is not afraid of riding in a plane. But he lacks interest in traveling far. He admitted that he wouldn't mind going to England or Israel but he said he would only travel with a whole-trip guided tour. He couldn't imagine why just one week in Spain wouldn't be enough for me. I know perfectly well that I am functioning on my own ok without the traumatic stress of my parents behavior and for irrational reasons, when I plan a trip, I feel so guilty, like I am doing something terribly wrong, sneaking around behind my mom's back planning something I am not supposed to do. That observation alone doesn't tell us anything about whether it is safe enough for me to travel solo to Los Angels or Mexico City. I am 38 now. I am a single man traveling alone. Even though my mom has more phobias and anxiety than the average person, a lot of Americans don't travel outside the country or far from home.]

Mike, if you're considering US cities, I went to Boston in September last year and loved it. It was really easy to get around on the T, and there's a lot of interesting historical sites and museums. We were there for 5 days. We felt safe and didn't want to leave!