Questions About Arlington Cemetery

Andrea,
When we attended the service and burial some years back, it was held a couple of months after the December death because the ground was frozen. The service was extremely memorable, and held in a sort of chapel at the cemetery. It was followed by a walk to the location of the burial, with the riderless horse, boots facing backwards and a drum beating, a 21 gun salute, taps, and a moving service at the graveside. Hubby didn't have a suit, but wore slacks, a dress shirt and a tie under a warm jacket. I wore a pants suit (I don't own any dresses) and a coat as well due to the chill at that time. There was a reception in a room at the cemetery also, with the usual mementos, photos, etc. and some food. I don't know about the arrangements for that part, but the widow coordinated the services part through Arlington. It was all very moving, touching and impressive. Plan on two hours at least. The walk to the gravesite may or may not be far. Wear comfortable shoes. Decent looking tennies will be all right as you do walk to the burial site.

Our friend had finally succumbed to injuries sustained many years before in Viet Nam. His service is something we will never forget.

I’ve been to 4 funerals at Arlington (one starting in the chapel, all four with graveside service by chaplain). The duration depends on whether the deceased is entitled to military honors and whether or not there is a service before the funeral either in the Old Post Chapel or at a nearby church. The last funeral I attended was in January 2021 during covid, so procedures may have changed slightly but the family member organizing the funeral should provide you with specific instructions on when and where to enter. They have also reduced the use of horses since that time so there may not be a horse-drawn caisson.

There is info on the Arlington National Cemetery website https://www.arlingtoncemetery.mil/Funerals/Attending-a-Funeral

You need to arrive in advance and if you are driving you will need a real id. You will either start at the Old Post Chapel or the Administration Building. At the Administration Building, there are specific rows that you park in for each funeral. If you are not a family member, you typically stay in your car in the parking lot until it is time to start and when the procession starts, you will be directed to follow.

For my father’s service (full military honors), we started at the Administration building. I chose to walk behind the horse-drawn caisson. We had a group of people walking and I think it was about a 20 minute walk to an area near the columbarium. The drivers followed the procession in their cars. When the procession stopped, we gathered. There were ten seats for family members. The rest of the attendees stood. There was a brief service which included the Air Force Band, the Chaplain saying a few brief words, and a gun salute. We then proceeded to the columbarium where my father’s urn was placed in the niche. My mother’s service in 2021 was much simpler and quicker since she was not in the military. We drove to the columbarium, and had about a 10 minute service.

If the service starts at the Old Post Chapel, you will attend a service there and then proceed to the gravesite. I attended one service in the Chapel. It was in August and extremely hot so no one walked behind the caisson and we all followed in cars. The rest of the service was similar to my father’s service.

I also attended a funeral that started at a local church. Following the church service, we drove in a procession to the Arlington Cemetery entrance and then followed the procession to the gravesite.

For two of the cemeteries I attended, a reception was held following the funeral service at Fort Myer which is the military base adjacent to the cemetery.

The funerals at Arlington are really memorable and the personnel at Arlington are extremely professional. I wore a pants suit (covered by a wool coat) for both of my parent’s funerals as they were both in the winter. I’d plan for about 2 hours including the time required in advance for cemetery arrival. Allow more time if there is a chapel service or reception.

If you haven't seen it before, the hourly changing of the guard service to The Unknowns would be worth adding on.

I attended a funeral at Arlington for a full bird colonel. It was an incredibly moving experience. The service was held at the chapel where his son, a priest, officiated. A caisson and riderless horse led the way to the graveside for internment with taps and a 3 volley gun salute. The reception was held at his home. It occurred in late fall, I wore a black dress and my husband a dark suit. You may want to inquire whether you will be walking or driving to the graveside.

Thank you all for your information, it is incredibly helpful. Laura, your details are even more than I was looking for and I appreciate it. I wasn’t sure exactly what I should asking.

The friend who passed is cremated, so I’m assuming that’s why December was okay. He was a colonel and I expect he will get the appropriate honors for that. We will not have a car and don’t have any details about the service except the date and time, and how early we need to get there. We arrived in Europe on 9/1 and when I turned on my phone after our flight I got the message that he had passed on 8/31. We will get more information after we arrive home in mid-November. I’ve booked our flights and secured a hotel room for 5 nights.

We have been to the tomb of the unknown soldier and saw the changing of the guard. It was very moving.

My folks were cremated so they're in one of the columbariums. When you drive in (and I think that is probably really the only way to get in) you are directed to a special parking lot and then a special waiting room in the admin building (you'll need to go through a metal detector FWIW). When it's time a staff person gets into their car and you follow them to the site, where a worker places the urn in the niche and then they leave. At least in my parents' case, there were no official services. You are free to stay as long as you like and can probably go anywhere in the park you like afterwards. I would suggest business casual clothing. Watch out for the geese droppings, they are like ice.

Note to drivers, Google Maps sent us to a sub-entrance off to the south. The guard there, who probably deals with this all day long, was quite unhelpful and really should have had a piece of paper with directions to the main gate. If you just keep telling employees you are there for a funeral, they will send you to the proper places.

Would the general consensus be that we rent a car for that day?

[> it was held a couple of months after the December death because the ground was frozen.

Graves are dug all winter now even through feet of frost, this isn’t the 18th century.]

Would the general consensus be that we rent a car for that day?

It depends. A car would make things easier but I’m not sure it is necessary. There is a metro stop. If you take the metro, you need to first go to the Welcome Center which is very close to the Administration Building. I’d assume that you could walk from the Welcome Center to the Administration Building. If it starts at the Old Post Chapel, I think you will want a car as the entry is via Fort Myer.

Do you know others who are attending the funeral? You could potentially meet them at Arlington and then ride in their car. The weather could also be a factor. In early December it could be 70 degrees or below freezing. If it is really cold, you may want a car.

Do you know the next of kin who is arranging the funeral? In my experience, the primary next of kin (PNOK) is contacted by Arlington a week or two before the service by a representative from Arlington. The PNOK could ask if it is possible to attend without a car. Assuming that they have requested full military honors with an escort, you would need to walk from the Admin Building to the transfer point.
https://www.arlingtoncemetery.mil/Funerals/Funeral-Information/Visiting-Clergy-Guide/Full-Military-Funeral-Honors-with-Escort-Columbarium-Inurnment

For my father’s service (full military honors with escort), I specifically rode with another family member because I wanted to walk behind the caisson. I rode with them to the transfer point (which was very close to the Administration Bldg) and then got out of the car and walked. If you have a car, the driver is required to drive the car to a location near the gravesite as you aren’t allowed to leave your car in the admin building parking lot once the funeral begins. They will drive at a very slow speed behind the people walking and the honor guard and caisson. We didn’t have any attendees who took metro.

If they have requested full military honors without escort, you’d need to a walk to a location by the columbarium for the start. You can see on googlemaps where the columbarium is located.

There's a Metro stop right there at the cemetery. I've even walked there from the Mall.

toby,
This was what happened about 15 years ago. Perhaps that was a different winter. I am repeating what the widow told me. I have no reason to question her. If there was an additional reason for the delay, I don't wish to bother her about it.

When we went to the cemetery as a visitor 12 years ago we took public transportation, probably the metro. I booked a hotel on the metro line that goes to the airport (Washington National) and Arlington. I’m hoping to avoid a car rental if possible, but we will do it for that day if necessary.

The widow is our friend and she lives near us. She will be traveling from Sacramento to Washington with her grandson and it is unlikely that they will have a car. Her son lives in North Carolina and it’s possible that he will be driving. I can ask him if I can’t get the information from our friend. She is older and having difficulties.

If you end up having to have a car for the day, consider looking into Zipcar. While not as common as they once were back in their early 2000s heydey, I still see spaces/cars reserved for them when I am in the DC area (not as much as in my Maryland suburb, though).

acher, thanks for the interesting suggestion and I can certainly look into that. We would only need a car for a short time.

Both of my parents are at Arlington and my experiences were very much as Laura described. Just be aware that many details are up to the family and individual services can vary.

For example, my father’s burial in 1999 (full military honors) was well after his death and we had already had his full memorial service at my parent’s church before his burial. So at Arlington, we did not have a service in the administration building, just graveside. We grouped up at the administration building and processed by car to the gravesite. The service there was brief, perhaps 20 minutes, though very moving with the gun salute and taps.
My mom’s burial was a year ago. We had a brief service graveside that lasted perhaps 15 minutes. She was not a service member so no military honors. Again, we grouped up at the administration building and drove in a procession out to the gravesite.
With respect to attire, I do think your husband should wear a suit. It is a very formal environment and I don’t recall any men not wearing jackets at the services I attended.
As another poster stated, make sure to bring a real ID or passport; they will check upon entry to the parking lot.
I don’t think you would need a car depending on how your group is processing to the gravesite or columbarium. But you’d need to check with a family member, as those details can vary.

Thank you, DebVT. I have been to military funerals at 2 National Cemeteries in California and I had to make the arrangements for 3 of them. We did need a car for the 4 funerals and it wasn’t an issue because we had our own car. I will reach out to the son of the deceased as he can probably better describe what will be happening than the widow can.

Andrea, I’m glad you posted this because I’ll be involved in formal full military honors internment of my dad, hopefully sometime in the Spring. We are still waiting for the call from Arlington to schedule it You’ve received so much great information here - it is bookmarked.

Linda, my condolences for your loss. I’m glad this information is helpful to you.

Something to consider:
Just because the deceased is cremated, the service will not simply default to the columbarium.
My nephew is buried at Arlington. His remains were cremated and my sister chose burial in Section 60 with fellow casualties from the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan.

There's no rule regarding proper apparel. Just dress as you would to pay respects to your friend, but keep weather comfort/safety in mind, as well.

Regarding car rental for the day, I tend to agree with others who suggest riding with family or taking the Metro.
If you do not have a required parking permit, I believe you have at park at the welcome center and walk to the service location, which is basically the same as arriving via Metro.

Tim, thank you for your thoughts. I have 5 family members in National cemeteries that were cremated and are in the ground. I have no idea what the family has chosen in this case and riding with the family is probably not an option. I chose a hotel based partly because it is on the metro line that goes to the cemetery and hopefully that will be good enough. Fingers crossed.

Hi Andrea, so sorry for your loss. I work in ANC...typically all funeral guests meet in a parking lot right inside the cemetery, near the Visitor's Center and everyone will drive to the ceremony site together, guided by an ANC representative. I'm sure metro-ing would work, you may have to walk a bit and maybe you can grab a ride to the ceremony site with others attending the service. If not, you could always walk, although it could be pretty far depending on where in the cemetery the ceremony is held. Happy to try and answer other questions if you have any. All best

My condolences for the loss of your friend and my gratitude for the service of your friend and their family.

We were at Arlington for the funeral of a family member in April 2023. There was a service at the Old Post Chapel prior to the procession and we were instructed that we had to arrive by car (or via metro) but it could not be an uber or taxi. We used uber to have a rental car delivered to us at our air bnb and just rented the car for the day. Uber then picked up the car from the air bnb; for us, this worked perfectly.

We were also told that taking the metro and walking to the Old Post Chapel was an option. Obviously we chose to drive. We are in pretty good condition (we just returned from Greece and Italy having walked to the top of the Acropolis, Mycenae and all the other typical strolls involved in travel to this part of the world) but realized it is about a 30 minute walk walk from the Arlington Metro to the chapel and it is not flat; then the procession to the graveside, then the reception and back to the metro in funeral appropriate attire was just not a good option for us. In your situation, in December - the weather may add another challenge.